Then I’d ask to see an invoice with the actual prices paid for the makeup. I’d also raise a further objection to these purchases being made without your knowledge or consent. It’s your money your niece is spending, and you have a right to know how it’s being spent before you consent to it.
I’d also have a serious talk with your niece. Let her know that it’s okay that you spent the money you have so far; she’s obviously enjoying herself and being on the dance team is having a good effect on her. But she also needs to understand that she should be responsible for some of the costs herself, and that she needs to find a way to earn money to pay for things like makeup, even if it means finding a way to squeeze in a part-time job to save money. If nothing else, she might not go along with the whole “matching makeup” thing, if she knows she has to pay for it herself.
BTW, is the dance team cruise mandatory? I know it is from a peer-pressure standpoint, but is going on the cruise a requirement to stay on the team? That’s another question that’s worth asking. I’d cultivate a direct relationship with the team’s advisor to make sure you keep up with the fundraisers and other information from an accurate source.
I think you’re doing a wonderful thing for your niece.
I have to wonder if there’s some unspoken sense of entitlement that explains the attitude of the other parents you’ve talked to. They can afford to spare no expense to ensure their daughters get exactly what they want for the dance team, but it seems to me that they don’t consider that not everyone is in the position to do the same for theirs. It seems to me that a lot of the things like matching practice T-shirts and duffel bags and who knows what else started out as extras, but because everyone could have them, they took on the status of uniform parts. The matching makeup from Avon is just one step too far, IMO.
[soapbox]Unfortunately, who knows how many kids are left out of stuff like band and theater and debate because their families can’t afford the extra costs for uniforms and camps and whatnot.[/soapbox]
Just a quick note to add that, when you’re comparing the various anecdotes in this thread, if she’s on a hard core competition team (as opposed to one that doesn’t compete or only does a couple for fun) than there’s probably going to be a lot more costs. They’re more likely to need the matching travel bags, warm-up outfits, etc. plus competition fees. It’s just part of the deal.
My high school band wasn’t allowed to charge us to participate. Uniforms were loaned out, but had to be paid for if they were damaged, school instruments were available (in limited quantities, so those who could afford it were encouraged to buy their own), and we had fundraisers to pay for our two annual competitions. But my area had a lot of people who couldn’t afford to pay for activities, so they might be more sensitive on not excluding people without a lot of money to spare. Flag corps might be a little different, being a smaller group with more pressure to not stand out as “the poor kid”.
I don’t have much to say specifically about your school, but, I had a sister on Kickline in Highschool (part of that set-up), and our school’s group wasn’t winning big competitions (that I know of) but were regularly a part of several fairly big national parades (that have highschool band performances) so I’m feel comfortable saying they were in fairly good standing.
You have to understand, I grew up in a richie-rich area too. Pretty much anyone who lives here is either from Old Money, part of the Yuppie wave of successfull bussiness people from the '80’s. I think my sister’s costume and other stuff amounted to a grand total of maybe $750 at the absolute most. It was probably more like a couple hundred. This is an area where people are buying their kids brand new beamers, lexu- lexi? (how do you pluralize that?), etc.
And as obsessive as some parents were about their kids being in all the right extra-curricular groups and summer academic camps for their college ap’s (which is effing ridiculous, like any college cares what you did in the summer between your 7th and 8th grade years), I can tell you right now, no one in our area would spend that kind of money on kickline/flash-flags/color guard, etc. As entitled and spoiled as kids in our area may be, most parents would have been shocked at the prices you’re rattling off. Of course, our area also didn’t have much in the way of a fixation on the school sports teams, or the cheerleader squad (the game was just a hangout for the highschool kids, for the team-mates it was just something fun to do that was percieved as being good for you). It wouldn’t surprise me if the two aren’t related.
Your description of your niece’s school’s group makes me think of how bat-shit crazy those parents who enter their little daughters into beauty pagents get. Or the archetypal bridezilla.
Sorry I can’t be of any help. But I think it’s great what your doing for the girl (in general, not related to this dance team stuff).
H3Knuckles, it does occur to me that your school probably had a strong tax base and was generally well funded. That may have allowed the school to cover more of the cost of extracurriculars. How schools are funded, and fund activities, varies tremendously. I think you raise a good point, but I think the OP will need to apply it to her own situation carefully.
My recommendation would be to ease Tiffany into paying for stuff as she turns 16 and can get a part-time job. Until she is 16, babysitting and other chores are an option, too. Also, make participation contingent on grades, if it isn’t already.
Someone did get a good deal being the Avon rep for the sale, but Avon isn’t especially expensive as makeup goes. Take a look at how the prices compare to other brands before you declare it a ripoff. Also, it was probably an extremely efficient way to get a group of girls matching makeup. That would be worth something to me if I were in charge of the group.
The reason that stood out for me was that the purchase just happened without RachelChristine’s knowledge. Then when she tried to bring her concerns to other parents, including the president, she was brushed off. I know Avon isn’t expensive, but it’s the principle of the thing.