# Kids keep losing their $350 beanies at school **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 13, 2019, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691 "2019-01-13T16:43:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2019, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/81 "2019-01-15T13:46:18Z")
> [@Kiwi\_Fruit](#): > > Are you sure you don’t want one? Look, it’s special… “Extremely soft pure wool to tackle the most hostile urban temperatures, like sudden snowfall on a ski slope.” > > How many urban ski slopes are there? At least [one](https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g295424-d561527-Reviews-Ski_Dubai-Dubai_Emirate_of_Dubai.html). I was going to link directly to their site but it took _forever_ to load. > [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I once stopped this dead in its tracks at Girl Scout camp by finally grabbing the person who had my hat, and then I bit her. :eek: It was the only way I had to defend myself, so I used it. When he was about seven my brother had his hat snatched off by a couple older boys at the school bus stop. They were playing keep away with it but after a couple back and forths, brother leaped at the the larger of the two and was literally hanging from his neck, abusing him with the other arm, and hollering, “Gimme my hat back! Gimme my hat back!” “I don’t have it!” “I don’t care!” He quickly had his hat restored. When we were telling mom about it after school since I was the older brother, she chided me for not help my little brother. A friend who’d been there defended me. “He didn’t need any help.” In truth, I was too busy laughing my ass off. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2019, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/82 "2019-01-15T21:54:18Z")
Why do I sense a thriving hat black market there? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2019, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/83 "2019-01-15T22:23:14Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > If I was a teacher I wouldn’t spend one second looking for them. Kids lose hats, mits, scarves, school bags, etc, etc. Exactly. Which I why I used to stock up on that kind of thing at the dollar store for my son. As an adult, he still prefers their gloves. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2019, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/84 "2019-01-15T22:40:49Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Why do I sense a thriving hat black market there? As in trading them for drugs? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2019, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/85 "2019-01-15T23:01:00Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Why do I sense a thriving hat black market there? As nobody seems to have noted, ain’t nobody “losing” their damn hats. Either they are being stolen, or sold, or given away to the object of their affection. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2019, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/86 "2019-01-15T23:35:55Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Prisoner: “…Do you want to come back to my place?” > You: “…Yeh, all right.” No, I didn’t feel a connection. In reality, I had already done something for that prisoner. I’m the guy who started the lock sale policy. Prisoner cubes came with a locker. A prisoner could put all of his valuables inside the locker and lock it shut to prevent other people from stealing it. A problem was that prisoner money accounts didn’t always follow a prisoner in a timely fashion. We might transfer a prisoner and he wouldn’t have access to his money for a week. Plus prisoners were on a schedule for going to the commissary so they couldn’t buy a lock whenever they wanted. I set up a policy that allowed incoming prisoners to buy a lock on credit. The draft officer kept a supply of locks and when the prisoner arrived he could buy one and then we would take the money out of his account when the paperwork got straightened out. This allowed the prisoner to unpack his stuff when he arrived at his cube and immediately lock it up. So if this guy’s radio got stolen, it’s because he chose to leave it out in the open. Anyone who leaves something valuable sitting out in the open in a room full of criminals when he isn’t there to watch it shouldn’t be surprised when it gets stolen. I wasn’t going to lock down the entire unit and search it for the stolen radio. Especially when I knew it almost certainly was no longer on the unit. When you steal something like that, you sell it to a prisoner on another unit so the original victim doesn’t see you using it. TLDR version: It was his own fault. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/87 "2019-01-16T02:46:47Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > No, I didn’t feel a connection. Not sure which of us is being whooshed, but [just in case…](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL6QNLBRXCA) > [@](#): > > In reality, I had already done something for that prisoner. I’m the guy who started the lock sale policy…I wasn’t going to lock down the entire unit and search it for the stolen radio. Especially when I knew it almost certainly was no longer on the unit. When you steal something like that, you sell it to a prisoner on another unit so the original victim doesn’t see you using it. > > TLDR version: It was his own fault. Interesting. Good looking out, on your part at least. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/88 "2019-01-16T02:46:48Z")
> [@Kiwi\_Fruit](#): > > Are you sure you don’t want one? Look, it’s special… “Extremely soft pure wool to tackle the most hostile urban temperatures, like sudden snowfall on a ski slope.” > > How many urban ski slopes are there? There’s one in Hailey/Sun Valley ID, if you can suspend disbelief enough to call that urban. How big a crane do you have to suspend disbelief with? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/89 "2019-01-16T04:49:53Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > As nobody seems to have noted, ain’t nobody “losing” their damn hats. Either they are being stolen, or sold, or given away to the object of their affection. Of course, but the parents only know that their kid, without a larcenous bone in his body, doesn’t have his precious hat to set him apart from the masses, and they’ve heard there is an epidemic of stolen hats at the school. Probably Mexicans in MS-13. Junior pawns his old hat for drug money and the game starts over. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/90 "2019-01-16T05:07:17Z")
You can buy quite a few awful nice motorcycle helmets for less than $350. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/91 "2019-01-16T13:55:35Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Of course, but the parents only know that their kid, without a larcenous bone in his body, doesn’t have his precious hat to set him apart from the masses, and they’ve heard there is an epidemic of stolen hats at the school. Probably Mexicans in MS-13. Junior pawns his old hat for drug money and the game starts over. Yeah, the hats become an economic [“store of value”](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Store_of_value). Maybe a teacher can put together a lesson plan on the subject for the kids (and parents). ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/92 "2019-01-16T14:02:39Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > You can buy quite a few awful nice motorcycle helmets for less than $350. But how many of those are made of wool with a fur pom? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![eenerms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/93 "2019-01-16T16:10:47Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Or the coordinating sucker plunger and gunstick… > > “Exterminate! Exterminate!!!” That’s what I thought:D ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/94 "2019-01-16T17:36:35Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Not sure which of us is being whooshed, but [just in case…](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL6QNLBRXCA) I was aware of the reference. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2019, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/95 "2019-01-17T00:23:16Z")
> [@Alley\_Dweller](#): > > But seriously. when you are wearing your [Moncler coat](https://www.barneys.com/product/1-moncler-pierpaolo-piccioli-lucrezia-down-quilted-puffer-cape-505971638.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=Product-Type-womens-coats&utm_keyword=PRODUCT_GROUP&utm_campaign=BNY-PLA-US-GGL-NB-Product-Type_RMK&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI3tP-1Z3r3wIVVLnACh3TegktEAQYASABEgK9ffD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds), you’ve got to have the coordinating beanie. Randy lay there like a slug – it was his only defense. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2019, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/96 "2019-01-20T11:21:30Z")
> [@minor7flat5](#): > > That was no beanie…that was a [whoopee cap](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whoopee_cap), made from the crown of an old felt hat, with the brim removed, bottom half flipped up, and clipped in a spiffy zig-zag pattern. > > Here’s an [example of one](http://www.shorpy.com/node/24178?size=_original#caption) spotted in the wild by Shorpy. The wearer of that particular whoopee cap looks like he recently had to address some criticism about his choice of headgear. Wait, that was a real style of hat, actually worn by kids? On purpose? I thought that was just something dreamed up to show how dumb Jughead was? > [@DesertDog](#): > > [Haute couture](https://www.google.com/search?q=haute+couture&client=firefox-b-1&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi85NSP3e3fAhVhllQKHVg_CWkQ_AUIDigB&biw=1280&bih=599). You know – fashion by designers who deep down inside really hate women. A couple of those looked ok, but several were “you’ve got to be kidding me” ridiculous. > [@Kimstu](#): > > Yup. And for those label-conscious parents/kids who’d like a little systemic racism to go with their classism, note that [the hat comes in a variety of colors including a rachel-pink or dusty-rose-beige officially called “skin color”](https://store.moncler.com/en-us/hats_cod4146401443459735.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7Ie4vpzu3wIVF1mGCh0__gMMEAYYASABEgIR2fD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&tp=70950). :dubious: Obviously, if you’re aware that skin comes in more colors than basic “whitefolks beige-pink” then this hat is not meant for you! I don’t know anyone with skin that color. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Well, that’s it. I will never buy that product. I thought for sure the pom was faux fur. I’m calling ‘Peta’ What is [she](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0933959/?ref=m_nv_sr_1) going to do? 😉 > [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I once stopped this dead in its tracks at Girl Scout camp by finally grabbing the person who had my hat, and then I bit her. :eek: It was the only way I had to defend myself, so I used it. Good for her! Kids would take my hat, but I was the one who got in trouble for “fighting”. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2019, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691/97 "2019-01-21T12:55:44Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Wait, that was a real style of hat, actually worn by kids? On purpose? I thought that was just something dreamed up to show how dumb Jughead was? We had a discussion about that on a [thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=848719) I started about a year ago. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kids-keep-losing-their-350-beanies-at-school/827691.md?page=4)