# Kill a Brady kid **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 10, 2015, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450 "2015-08-10T14:53:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/21 "2015-08-10T17:43:48Z")
What? No option for cousin Oliver? Well then, Jan it is. ---
**Author:** ![TheInimitableMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@TheInimitableMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheInimitableMaven)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/22 "2015-08-10T17:54:06Z")
I’m going to be ‘different’, as well as that much more ‘evil’, and vote for Marcia because of her spawning not one (“Oh my nose!!”), but two (“Marcia-Marcia-Marcia!”) of the most stupid/annoying pop culture memes in history (and long before ‘meme’ grew to become the commonplace term it is now). BUT if ‘all of them’ and/or ‘Cousin Oliver’ were among the choices, my vote would go elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/23 "2015-08-10T18:04:41Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Cant we just kill em all? Well, since you’re Sherwood Schwartz in this scenario, killing off the entire bunch of Bradys probably wouldn’t be good business for your “Brady Bunch” television program. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/24 "2015-08-10T18:11:46Z")
No matter who goes, let’s hope Tiger gets the now-unoccupied square. ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/25 "2015-08-10T18:31:27Z")
> [@MovieMogul](#): > > No matter who goes, let’s hope Tiger gets the now-unoccupied square. No, zombie Brady! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/26 "2015-08-10T18:37:36Z")
Peter, because he is a dick. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/27 "2015-08-10T18:39:04Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Well, since you’re Sherwood Schwartz in this scenario, killing off the entire bunch of Bradys probably wouldn’t be good business for your “Brady Bunch” television program. You could do a crossover episode with another Sherwood Schwartz series, and strand them all on a desert island while Gilligan & Co. made it back to suburban LA. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/28 "2015-08-10T18:44:44Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Well, since you’re Sherwood Schwartz in this scenario, killing off the entire bunch of Bradys probably wouldn’t be good business for your “Brady Bunch” television program. Sorry… I assumed from the thread title…but I’d still kill em all. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/29 "2015-08-10T18:49:47Z")
Peter. Look, when it’s time to change, you’ve got to rearrange. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/30 "2015-08-10T19:04:26Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > > [@madsircool](#): > > > > Cant we just kill em all? > > Well, since you’re Sherwood Schwartz in this scenario, killing off the entire bunch of Bradys probably wouldn’t be good business for your “Brady Bunch” television program. “_What? No, that was a typo. It is a television pogrom._” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/31 "2015-08-10T19:04:39Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > She never had any trouble firing my hormones! 🆒 > > [lifestyles of the rich and pathetic: Image](https://salvagedstars.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/eve_plumb1.jpg) > > [http://dev.metvnetwork.com/assets/images/jan314.jpg](http://dev.metvnetwork.com/assets/images/jan314.jpg) > > [https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/5c/8b/b7/5c8bb7effaf4aca984b2d4782c70ef97.jpg](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/5c/8b/b7/5c8bb7effaf4aca984b2d4782c70ef97.jpg) > > [http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/10800000/Jan-eve-plumb-the-brady-bunch-10818960-382-500.jpg](http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/10800000/Jan-eve-plumb-the-brady-bunch-10818960-382-500.jpg) > > [https://auntiefashion.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/eve-plumb.jpg?w=700](https://auntiefashion.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/eve-plumb.jpg?w=700) > > [http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-matn3RkP\_UI/TfCSCk28m-I/AAAAAAAAAqQ/rbzxiHKpw0g/s1600/bradyeveww1.jpg](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-matn3RkP_UI/TfCSCk28m-I/AAAAAAAAAqQ/rbzxiHKpw0g/s1600/bradyeveww1.jpg) > > She was gorgeous! :o Yes she was. I genially hated the show, but Jan Brady grew up hot. ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/32 "2015-08-10T19:11:00Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > You could do a crossover episode with another Sherwood Schwartz series, and strand them all on a desert island while Gilligan & Co. made it back to suburban LA. Or Gilligan & Co. make it back to civilization by making a raft from the dead Brady kids. I’d watch that (and already done on Rome). ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/33 "2015-08-10T19:11:03Z")
I’d hire Quentin Tarantino to direct a “Very Special” episode where Cindy’s curls get caught in a wood chipper. ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/34 "2015-08-10T19:37:34Z")
Bobby was the easy and obvious choice to me. (Sorry, Mike Lookinland…) What memorable plots did Bobby play a part in? The Marcia/Jan feud has to stay, Greg trying to be Mr. Cool, Cindy with her doll and her lisp, Peter with his changing voice… What did Bobby ever do? ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/35 "2015-08-10T19:48:17Z")
You mean… we have to let five of them LIVE??? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/36 "2015-08-10T19:59:18Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Guess who I’d kill on the Partridge Family… Please, NOT Susan Dey! :eek: > **[Susan Dey | Susan Dey Picture #15450251 - 454 x 569 - FanPix.Net](https://fanpix.famousfix.com/gallery/susan-dey/p15450251)** > > 28 October 2024... Susan Dey | Susan Dey Photo ID: 15450251. Picture of Susan Dey - - Latest Susan Dey image. > **[Susan Dey | Susan Dey Picture #20581986 - 454 x 576 - FanPix.Net](https://fanpix.famousfix.com/gallery/susan-dey/p20581986)** > > 28 October 2024... Susan Dey | Susan Dey Photo ID: 20581986. Picture of Susan Dey - - Latest Susan Dey image. [![](https://www.sitcomsonline.com/photopost/data/733/01a1ScreenHunter_467_Sep_08_17_43.jpg) ](https://www.sitcomsonline.com/photopost/data/733/01a1ScreenHunter_467_Sep_08_17_43.jpg) [![](http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/askville/291827_8144380_mywrite/dey.jpg) ](http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/askville/291827_8144380_mywrite/dey.jpg) [http://www.mademan.com/chickipedia/uploaded\_photos/8/8a/Susan-Dey\_3.jpg](http://www.mademan.com/chickipedia/uploaded_photos/8/8a/Susan-Dey_3.jpg) [![](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/14/7b/bd/147bbd255e6a304a35c85915128980c6.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/14/7b/bd/147bbd255e6a304a35c85915128980c6.jpg) No! No! No, no, no, no!!! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![SykoSkotty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SykoSkotty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SykoSkotty)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/37 "2015-08-10T20:11:54Z")
Marcia. She runs away in the middle of the night to join Davey Jones on tour. After 6 months of this, she grows weary and begins to feel like a useless groupie, as Davey has shagged dozens of other birds over the last 1/2 year. To fill the void, she begins a downward spiral of drug abuse and bedding down with a new guy in every town. She calls home, begging Mike & Carol to take her back, which of course, they do. She promises at the next tour stop, she’s leaving Davey and catching the next Greyhound back to Brady Manor. Once on the bus to home, she falls into a deep sleep. She’s startled awake by a violent shaking of the bus, as it has slid off the road because the driver nodded off… Next morning, at the Brady house, the phone rings. Alice answers and her face turns white as she gets the news about the fatal crash… Cue the end music and the lovely blue tic tac toe board. Only now, where Marcia’s face once was, instead there’s a tombstone. ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/38 "2015-08-10T20:25:45Z")
This is hypothetical? So is sex part of the scenario either before or after the killing? OP is not specific enough. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/39 "2015-08-10T20:32:29Z")
I see Peter going to the gas chamber for killing Sam the butcher: he claimed that Sam had been molesting him, but could not provide any firm evidence. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450/40 "2015-08-10T20:47:02Z")
> [@SykoSkotty](#): > > Marcia. > > She runs away in the middle of the night to join Davey Jones on tour. After 6 months of this, she grows weary and begins to feel like a useless groupie, as Davey has shagged dozens of other birds over the last 1/2 year. To fill the void, she begins a downward spiral of drug abuse and bedding down with a new guy in every town. She calls home, begging Mike & Carol to take her back, which of course, they do. She promises at the next tour stop, she’s leaving Davey and catching the next Greyhound back to Brady Manor. Once on the bus to home, she falls into a deep sleep. She’s startled awake by a violent shaking of the bus, as it has slid off the road because the driver nodded off… > > Next morning, at the Brady house, the phone rings. Alice answers and her face turns white as she gets the news about the fatal crash… > > Cue the end music and the lovely blue tic tac toe board. Only now, where Marcia’s face once was, instead there’s a tombstone. Actually she became a [burned out waitress](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083186/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_42) in a dive bar. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-brady-kid/727450.md?page=3)