# Kill a Kid in the Hall **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 12, 2015, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657 "2015-08-12T14:15:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/1 "2015-08-12T14:15:01Z")
As the Prime Minister of Canada, circa 1990, it’s your sworn duty to ensure that citizens of the frozen north are adequately and efficiently entertained, night after night after brutal arctic night…via the airwaves of CBC television, of course! It’s come to your attention recently that Don Cherry’s playoff wardrobe will put the CBC’s expenditures several million dollars over budget this year. And that can only mean one thing: One of the Kids in the Hall must die. Between their exorbitant CBC salaries, their nationally-funded healthcare, and their annual allotment of Canadian bacon, it just seems excessive to allow all five of them to remain walking the earth…and quite simply, removing one of these funnymen from the airwaves (and all of existence) means Grapes can keep dazzling the nation every Hockey Night with his stunning display of [floral-patterned blazers and French cuffed shirts.](https://doncherryjacketwatch.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/doncherryhnic20110615-roneyes.jpg) So Prime Minister: Do your duty and kill one of those damn Kids in the Hall. For Canada. For the Queen. Pour le hockey! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/2 "2015-08-12T14:20:57Z")
Do we get to crush their head? Crush, crush, crush. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/3 "2015-08-12T14:40:59Z")
Tough call. Kevin McDonald, though I would take no pleasure in this decision. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/4 "2015-08-12T15:07:57Z")
You monster! ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/5 "2015-08-12T15:34:02Z")
Now you’ve gone too far. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/6 "2015-08-12T15:48:55Z")
Dave. He’d appreciate the sweet release of death. And he’s on everything, the News Radio days were good, but he’ll take any guest spot on any show now, and he’s just become boring. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/7 "2015-08-12T15:52:29Z")
Sorry, Scott. It was a tough choice between you and Mark. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/8 "2015-08-12T16:13:16Z")
So long as we get the Brain Candy, and no flipper children, they can all be offed/ ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/9 "2015-08-12T16:17:32Z")
Wow. I can’t do it. Take me instead! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/10 "2015-08-12T16:49:50Z")
> [@Anamorphic](#): > > Now you’ve gone too far. I figured this would be a tough one, so I made the poll private. For the purposes of this thread, your decision will be between you and your maker. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/11 "2015-08-12T17:02:58Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I figured this would be a tough one, so I made the poll private. For the purposes of this thread, your decision will be between you and your maker. …annnnnnd _Satan!_ ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/12 "2015-08-12T18:04:54Z")
Bruce. It was an easy decision. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/13 "2015-08-12T20:18:21Z")
Tempting to kill them all. REALLY tempting to kill Scott. But Kevin just needs to be put out of our misery. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/14 "2015-08-12T20:44:35Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > But Kevin just needs to be put out of our misery. He’s in [this sketch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKWvk4eoMH4) for less than thirty seconds but it’s a great thirty seconds. The sketch itself is a mild example of a lot of Bruce’s work on the show - silly mixes of surrealism/absurdism/existentialism. One of the better examples is [“Each Day We Work”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1si6M-vDEzI). I assume Bruce wrote or co-wrote these bits. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/15 "2015-08-12T20:57:31Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Dave. He’d appreciate the sweet release of death. And he’s on everything, the News Radio days were good, but he’ll take any guest spot on any show now, and he’s just become boring. I think he lost all his money and was ruined in a divorce. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/16 "2015-08-12T20:59:12Z")
Man, I could never…but… Mark is the closest to “normal-looking boring white guy” so he can be replaced. He’s gotta go. And I’ll tell you a secret - I’ve never been a fan of the Chicken Lady. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/17 "2015-08-12T21:02:03Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > I think he lost all his money and was ruined in a divorce. Yeah I know, thus the welcoming… I think he just didn’t lose it either, he’s still paying it. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/18 "2015-08-12T21:05:07Z")
Sorry, got to put Mark on the chopping block for his Chicken Lady. Now, cabbage heads don’t worry me but Chicken Ladies creep me out. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/19 "2015-08-12T23:45:10Z")
Talk about Sophie’s Choice! Never Bruce or Dave or Scott. Kevin always gets voted least popular and I think he’s great so I guess not him. That leaves Mark I guess. Ohh but I love Darrill. It’s too hard to choose… ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657/20 "2015-08-13T00:17:58Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Man, I could never…but… > > Mark is the closest to “normal-looking boring white guy” so he can be replaced. He’s gotta go. > > And I’ll tell you a secret - I’ve never been a fan of the Chicken Lady. The Chicken Lady should have only been a one appearance character but that one appearance was glorious. I have to go with Scott. He seemed to annoy me at times more than the others but I loved him too. And Buddy should have been retired long before the end of the run. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-a-kid-in-the-hall/727657.md?page=2)