# Kill Me Now! I've Just Used My First Smiley! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 25, 2000, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678 "2000-08-25T02:56:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/1 "2000-08-25T02:56:00Z")
Please, either flame the living Hell out of me for this cutesy tootsie affectation, or at least encourage me to continue being a submoron. Fortunately, my smiley was used in the name of perversion! Spare us all; (The last thing you ever wanted to hear from Zenster.) “I’ve got a smiley, and I’m not afraid to use it.” This is what is to blame: (It’s all your fault TN_hippie.) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=683249#post683249](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=683249#post683249) One of my first true limericks… This is a spur of the moment adaptation of a oneliner joke that I learned twenty years ago._ The oversexed dentist named Frost, told the pretty assistant he bossed. “That’s quite the nice set, in fact the nicest yet.” “Set of teeth that I’ve come across.” - As the dentist told his pretty assistant; “Nicest set of teeth I’ve ever come across.” :o (Kill me now, I’ve just used my first smiley!!! I’ll have to start a support thread just to deal with this!!! Thank goodness that it was for a perverted purpose!!!) (“Sweet merciful crap!!!”) Homer Simpson ---
**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/2 "2000-08-25T03:32:22Z")
Well, now that you quoted yourself, you have used TWO smileys. I suggest poison then a bullet. ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/3 "2000-08-25T03:41:21Z")
Settle down **Zenster**. Despite what you may think, or might have heard, it’s not that bad. Really! Join the dark side, Zenster, give in to your emotions! Use emoticons, use smilies…join us! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![fnord1966](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ad7895/32.png) [@fnord1966](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fnord1966)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/4 "2000-08-25T04:36:32Z")
Just dont let ChiefScott see them, he might send a 50 megaton muclear warhead towards your place. And dont feel bad about using smileys, I once posted a whole page (about 50-70) of smileys to Chiefie, intentionaly! Only some quick talking from Ultress and Shayna averted a nuclear holocaust. ---
**Author:** ![BarnStormer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f8ce5/32.png) [@BarnStormer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnStormer)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/5 "2000-08-25T04:37:02Z")
I use a smiley every time I post, and I certainly don’t care what ChiefScott thinks about it. He’s Navy, where they wear cub scout neck ties. ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/6 "2000-08-25T05:46:52Z")
Smileys rule. 🙂 ☹ 🆒 😃 😕 :o :mad: :rolleyes: 😛 :wally 😉 :eek: ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/7 "2000-08-25T12:12:45Z")
**BarnStormer** = Wingnut squid wannabe. **Talkinsquirrel** bites. ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/8 "2000-08-25T16:13:50Z")
Whoopsie forgot the little orthodox jewish smiley! ;j ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/9 "2000-08-25T16:25:19Z")
You might as well _completely_ piss me off on a Friday, right? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/10 "2000-08-25T16:36:38Z")
Chief, we’re trying to _help_ you. It’s called desensitization–a well-known psychological technique. Granted, it’s normally used for phobias, but we think that it may help with homicidal mania in your particular case. Now, relax, and look at the smiley for a little while; when you find your finger itching for the Big Red Button, look away from the thread. We’ll have you ready for the Dopefest (and the inevitable taunting) in no time at all. Now, here’s the smiley: :wally (I will now hurry to my profile and hide my location–he _can’t_ nuke the _whole_ country.) ---
**Author:** ![SILENT-BOB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@SILENT-BOB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SILENT-BOB)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/11 "2000-08-25T18:43:13Z")
ba ha ha ba haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/12 "2000-08-25T19:26:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SILENT-BOB \* > \*\*ba ha ha ba haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa > > 😃 \*\* OH MY GOD SILENT-BOB SAID SOMETHING!!! ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/13 "2000-08-25T19:49:39Z")
Holy Syllables, Bat Man. Bob Spoke! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/14 "2000-08-25T20:03:13Z")
SILENT-BOB SPOKE! HOLY F\*ING _H_T! Er, ahem. What I meant to say was . . . ROFL and STUNNED! btw, tradesilicon, Batman is one word, last I checked. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/15 "2000-08-25T22:40:15Z")
:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/16 "2000-08-25T22:44:39Z")
WTF?! SILENT-BOB posted something besides smilies? Did I trigger that somehow? Surely not with that lame post–maybe it’s just that this is the 2nd currently-active thread taunting his arch-nemesis ChiefScott? ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/17 "2000-08-25T22:51:33Z")
First Cheifscott uses smilies himself! Then Silent-Bob croaks noise!! …and the lamb will lay down with the lion… ---
**Author:** ![JLPicard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/858c86/32.png) [@JLPicard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JLPicard)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/18 "2000-08-25T22:54:17Z")
I hate to bring this up but SB didn’t really speak he kinda… evil laughed ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2000, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/19 "2000-08-25T22:58:35Z")
And those damnable keep-comin’-back-to-haunt-me smilies kinda… slipped. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-me-now-ive-just-used-my-first-smiley/30678/20 "2000-08-26T00:24:08Z")
Evidently I am just bent enough to induce speech in Silent-Bob. His invitation for me to join the dark side was also accompanied by a personal email (his second ever). However, for the sake of maintaining his reputation, I will never willingly so testify in open court. As for you ChiefScott, keep that manly tentacle firmly poised over the “Big Button”. Mrs. Tirebiter: My, my, just look at the time. I’m going to be late for my bridge club. Porgy Tirebiter: Gee Mom, isn’t that bridge built yet? George Tirebiter: No son (smack!), and it won’t be (biff!), until free hands on both sides of the big ditch (whack!), can press the same button at the same time! Porgy Tirebiter: Ow, all right Dad, can I finish my breakfast now? George Tirebiter: Don’t eat with your hands son, use your entrenching tool! “Don’t Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers.”? Firesign Theater