# Kill one Friend **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2015, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853 "2015-08-03T04:38:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/1 "2015-08-03T04:38:11Z")
If you were a TV writer and were asked to kill off one of the six main characters of Friends, which one would it be? This is a public poll so I can see which of you sick bastards would kill of my favorite Friend. I’ll be taking notes. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/2 "2015-08-03T04:49:14Z")
Ross. Should’ve never got rid of that monkey. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/3 "2015-08-03T04:59:31Z")
Ross, because IT’S ROSS! ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/4 "2015-08-03T05:17:30Z")
Every last one of them. And again to make sure. Thanks for asking. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/5 "2015-08-03T06:29:43Z")
My first thought was Ross, but I checked the poll results first and decided to give my vote to Monica who was just as annoying as her brother, if not more so. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/6 "2015-08-03T06:41:08Z")
Well, my SO is currently marathoning the series on Netflix. It’s literally playing in the background. I don’t mind the show, but I had to leave the room when I heard possibly Ross’ worst scene. It’s his shrill voice. I’d kill him before Janice. If I were a TV writer though, the character’s marketability would be the issue, and annoying characters are often very much so, so my answer would change if I evaluate it that way. Not sure who then. ---
**Author:** ![RadicalPi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/radicalpi/32/9806_2.png) [@RadicalPi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadicalPi)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/7 "2015-08-03T10:12:18Z")
Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five? ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/8 "2015-08-03T10:55:30Z")
I’ve never seen the show, so I went with the one I think is most ugly and, thus, doesn’t fit in well with the rest of them. And that would be (after looking his name up) the one played by Matthew Perry. So…Chandler. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/9 "2015-08-03T11:04:34Z")
I get people not enjoying Ross as a character, but really he’s a character that moves story arcs. From a writing standpoint, he’s just about the worst character to kill off- and the OP’s hypothetical puts us in the position of T.V. writer. Really, imagine if they killed off Valerie Harper’s character from the show _Valerie_- there’s no way that would work! Really, it was Joey and Phoebe who didn’t significantly move the story arcs. The purpose they did serve, however, was to be fun and silly so that we the audience didn’t get too overly nauseated by the drama of the other four, so you really _shouldn’t_ kill them either but they’re really the only two options. Of the two of them, I guess I’d kill Joey because doing so would also have in effect killed the _Joey_ spin-off show. I couldn’t kill Phoebe, she was my favorite and Kudrow consistently turned in the best performances of any of them. Rachel was my least favorite, and I’d love to kill her off in a _Friends_/_Leprechaun_ cross-over episode but as a writer I’d have to face the fact that without the Ross/Rachel stories the series wouldn’t survive. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/10 "2015-08-03T11:07:06Z")
> [@drad\_dog](#): > > Every last one of them. And again to make sure. > Thanks for asking. This. Such a bunch of stupid, self-involved, uneducated maroons on TV… (Full disclosure; I had the Rachel haircut.) ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/11 "2015-08-03T11:13:25Z")
I haven’t watched much of Friends, because I find Ross such a whiny annoying little git. Thus he should be the first to go, with the rest following soon afterwards until only Phoebe is left. She’s the only one worth keeping. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/12 "2015-08-03T11:42:20Z")
Chandler. Because Matthew Perry could actually make it funny and emotional at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/13 "2015-08-03T11:48:32Z")
Monica. Shrill and whiny. Buh-bye. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/14 "2015-08-03T11:56:56Z")
Phoebe. She’s the least hot of the females. And she’s a total ditz. ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/15 "2015-08-03T12:19:31Z")
\ _Killed off? I’ve been killed off??? I thought we were on a **BREAK**!_ \ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/16 "2015-08-03T12:21:59Z")
Ross, and I’d tell him to his face so I could watch him cry. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/17 "2015-08-03T12:39:35Z")
I jumped the gun and picked Ross without even thinking about it but I really should have picked Monica. I’m hard pressed to think of any particularly funny scenes or even lines of hers. Sure, the Ross character was an annoying twat, but in the later seasons at least they toned his seriousness down and made him kind of a goofball, which I think David Schwimmer did very well. The leather pants scene alone is enough to redeem him. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/18 "2015-08-03T13:18:09Z")
Joey. By far the weakest character. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/19 "2015-08-03T13:36:05Z")
Any one of them so long as the unknown killer leaves a note indicating that he plans to kill all of them, one at a time. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853/20 "2015-08-03T14:02:12Z")
Ross. No question. Though I wouldn’t hesitate to cheer the loss of any of those characters. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-one-friend/726853.md?page=2)