# Kill, schmill...How do I CAPTURE a zombie? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 23, 2003, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281 "2003-09-23T09:42:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/21 "2003-09-24T02:51:12Z")
no, **viva** , you’ve got that backwards. You keep salt away from zombies in order to _prevent_ them from waking up and realizing who they are. A good dose of NACL counteracts whatever drugs the vodun gave the person in order to zombify them. Anyhoo, I think **Ranchoth** is referring to a Romeoesque zombie, not the Afro-Caribbean folkloric variety, which, in fact, is quite easily contolled. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/22 "2003-09-24T18:51:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Thea Logica \* > **no, viva, you’ve got that backwards. You keep salt away from zombies in order to _prevent_ them from waking up and realizing who they are. A good dose of NACL counteracts whatever drugs the vodun gave the person in order to zombify them. > SNIP** That’s what I said…though I might not have phrased it too clearly. 😕 No salt! ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/23 "2003-09-24T19:34:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Thea Logica \* > Anyhoo, I think **Ranchoth** is referring to a Romeoesque zombie Romeo ended up a zombie? I know that Juliet stabbed herself, but I thought Romeo just OD’d on that sleeping potion. Maybe it was essence of zombie or something. Man, Romero could have used that idea in his films. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/24 "2003-09-24T20:54:22Z")
1. Dig a large pit 2. Build a campfire in the pit and wait for it to go out and cool down 3. Line the outside of the pit with small round, green veggetables (it is a not commonly known fact that zombies are big fans of veggies). 4. Hide in a nearby bush 5. When zombie come by to taks a pea kick him in the ash hole ---
**Author:** ![sultana\_of\_slash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@sultana\_of\_slash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sultana_of_slash)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/25 "2003-09-24T21:02:45Z")
I think you could probably just hit it with a good zap from a 1920’s style death ray. ---
**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/26 "2003-09-25T00:57:32Z")
Been saving up that one for a while **zoid**? 😛 What about luring the zombie with a truck load of [cheap brains](http://www.asianjoke.com/others/buying_brains.htm)? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/27 "2003-09-25T03:32:26Z")
I have a feeling this is still going to be more killing the capturing, but it might help: [http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1400049628/qid%3D1064461136/sr%3D11-1/ref%3Dsr\_11\_1/103-3103354-0487803](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1400049628/qid%3D1064461136/sr%3D11-1/ref%3Dsr%5F11%5F1/103-3103354-0487803) ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/28 "2003-09-25T03:58:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by betenoir \* > \*\*I have a feeling this is still going to be more killing the capturing, but it might help: > [http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1400049628/qid%3D1064461136/sr%3D11-1/ref%3Dsr\_11\_1/103-3103354-0487803](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1400049628/qid%3D1064461136/sr%3D11-1/ref%3Dsr%5F11%5F1/103-3103354-0487803) \*\* From that page: > [@](#): > > Customers interested in this title may also be interested in: > Sponsored Links (What’s this?) Feedback > > ``` > * E-book: Christian Living > Anchors Of Faith, 310 pages Download 300 short stories: $8.00 > www.xlibris.com/AnchorsOfFaith.html > > ``` Ha! There’s some kind of Zombie Jesus joke in there somewhere… ---
**Author:** ![ChaosGod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac91a4/32.png) [@ChaosGod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChaosGod)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/29 "2003-09-25T04:52:17Z")
don’t zombies have rights? The right to live, ahem, or be dead, or whatever. Also, they don’t like to be called “zombies”. They prefer to be referred to as “metabolically challenged” ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/30 "2003-09-25T05:39:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChaosGod \* > \*\*don’t zombies have rights? > The right to live, ahem, or be dead, or whatever. > Also, they don’t like to be called “zombies”. They prefer to be referred to as “metabolically challenged” \*\* You insensitive anti-zombie bastard! EVERYONE knows that the correct name is “vitally-challenged”! Geez, people, how long are we going to let our irrational hatred of the undead keep us from seeing them for the (former) people that they are?!? ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/31 "2003-09-25T06:27:12Z")
UNDEAD YES! UNPERSON NO! –Reg Shoe ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/32 "2003-09-25T06:32:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manatee \* > \*\*You insensitive anti-zombie bastard! EVERYONE knows that the correct name is “vitally-challenged”! > > Geez, people, how long are we going to let our irrational hatred of the undead keep us from seeing them for the (former) people that they are?!? \*\* So are live people “cadaverally-challenged” ? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/33 "2003-09-25T06:37:43Z")
How about some [Zombie pinups?](http://www.zombiepinups.com/) ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/34 "2003-09-25T07:57:56Z")
First thing you do is beat the location of your Zombie out of Willy the bartender… no, wait, that only works for Vampires and Demons. Okay. You lay out a plate of fresh brains. When the Zombie lifts the brain off of the plate, it tips the teeter totter, which lands on the tail of the cat. The cat takes off, pulling the string tied to its tail, which sets off the mousetrap, which breaks the balloon, which allows the other teeter totter to tip. This causes the bowling ball to roll down the chute and knock over the jug of water, which fills up the paint can, which causes the rope to move in the pulley. The rope moves, and the knot tied in the rope catches in the hole drilled in the board. The board moves up and tips over the jar full of marbles. The marbles fall onto a plate and make a sustained noise, which causes you to wake up. At that point, you shoot the Zombie in the head if it isn’t the one you wanted and go out to your car to drive around town with the police scanner on so you can find the big concentrations of Zombie activity. For capture I recommend the Jack Crow approved “big ass barbed crossbow bolt tied to a cable attached to the bumper” shoot and drive method. When it comes to Zombies, the idea of damage becomes much more relative than it would be otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/35 "2003-09-25T09:58:41Z")
To really capture a zombie, you’re probably going to want to use 1600 speed film since it’s likely you’ll be shooting in poor light. Some people might say that 3200 speed film is the way to go, but I think it would be too grainy to produce a top-quality zombie photograph. Zombies don’t exactly move that fast, so you’ll be able to get away with a relatively slow shutter speed to freeze the action. And I would also suggest that you use a tripod. Not only does it eliminate motion blur caused by holding the camera in your hands, but it’s really useful if the zombie gets too close and you end up having to beat it over the head to get away. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/36 "2003-09-25T09:58:41Z")
To really capture a zombie, you’re probably going to want to use 1600 speed film since it’s likely you’ll be shooting in poor light. Some people might say that 3200 speed film is the way to go, but I think it would be too grainy to produce a top-quality zombie photograph. Zombies don’t exactly move that fast, so you’ll be able to get away with a relatively slow shutter speed to freeze the action. And I would also suggest that you use a tripod. Not only does it eliminate motion blur caused by holding the camera in your hands, but it’s really useful if the zombie gets too close and you end up having to beat it over the head to get away. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/37 "2003-09-25T12:43:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*How about some [Zombie pinups?](http://www.zombiepinups.com/) \*\* I already provided pinups in my earlier post. ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/38 "2003-09-26T05:55:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*So are live people “cadaverally-challenged” ? 😃 \*\* Nope. They’re lunch! “BRRAAAAAAAAIINNNSSSSSSSSS!!!” ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/39 "2003-09-26T11:58:22Z")
Dig a big hole, cover it with leaves and branches and such, then dangle a kitten over it. Zombie heads towards tasty treat, falls in, and there you go. I mean, that’s how the cavemen did it. ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281/40 "2003-09-26T17:35:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by green\_bladder \* > \*\*Will tranquilisers work on zombies? \*\* They did in Peter Jackson’s Braindead/Dead Alive, for a while anyway. Keep a lawn mower handy just in case. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kill-schmill-how-do-i-capture-a-zombie/203281.md?page=3)