# Killer Blimp over Pennsylvania! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 28, 2015, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999 "2015-10-28T18:58:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/81 "2015-10-30T00:28:25Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > The blimp was shot:eek: > > [Gunshots help deflate runaway military blimp in Pennsylvania - CBS News](http://www.cbsnews.com/news/gunshots-deflate-runaway-military-blimp-in-pennsylvania/) > > “Pennsylvania law enforcement on Thursday used small arms fire to deflate the unmanned runaway Army blimp…”. “…there were fears it could be grabbed by the winds and take off again…” > > “A Pentagon spokesperson told Martin on Thursday the blimp is a fire control blimp, not the surveillance blimp that was originally reported.” > > - This is not the blimp you are looking for - Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi > He’s a Pentagon spokesperson now??😕 > > “I don’t know, Barney, it may be trying to get away? Should I taser it or shoot it? I don’t see any knees?” > > BLIMP Lives Matter. (why yes, totally insensitive but pale in contrast to the death pool or the Pit) I’m suspicious of the changed story. Where would the media get the idea that it was a surveillance blimp and why didn’t the military spokesperson correct them immediately? Regarding local law enforcement shooting it; it sounds like they did the right thing. It was a danger to the locals so it had to be stopped. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/82 "2015-10-30T01:06:07Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > I’m suspicious of the changed story. Where would the media get the idea that it was a surveillance blimp and why didn’t the military spokesperson correct them immediately? There were two aerostats, located a short distance apart. One was for surveillance and the other was for “fire control”, which I assume means missile targeting or something like that. I remember they didn’t put them up at the same time. They put one up, and the other about three weeks later. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/83 "2015-10-30T01:07:56Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > “Pennsylvania law enforcement on Thursday used small arms fire to deflate the unmanned runaway Army blimp…”. [HacowiChief] “It. Is. _Balloon…!_” [/HacowiChief] ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/84 "2015-10-30T01:22:44Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > This system has been controversial for a while. > > [How a $2.7 billion air-defense system became a 'zombie' program - Los Angeles Times](http://graphics.latimes.com/missile-defense-jlens/) Huh. So, the _Los Angeles Times_ publishes a very critical article about this thing, and then barely a month later it suffers a hugely public and embarrassing failure, causing pretty much the whole Internet to erupt in snark and jeering laughter? > [@Sunspace](#): > > So how _did_ it break loose? Someone lean on the wrong button? Connect the dots people–it’s pretty obvious what really happened here: **_Los Angeles Times_ reporter David Willman sabotaged our Nation’s vital Blimp Program!!!** Yes, he knew that this will probably guarantee him a Pulitzer as the man who “blew the whistle” on JLENS just weeks before its spectacular public failure!!!1! You read it here first. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/85 "2015-10-30T01:25:15Z")
In case it’s not clear, the existence and purpose of these blimps was not a secret. At 10,000 feet, they were visible from all over the Baltimore metro area. They had been up just long enough for people to get used to them. I actually found them to be a convenient directional landmark. Now I expect we’ll never see them again. I’m sort of going to miss them, which is odd, because I found them very creepy when they were up there. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/86 "2015-10-30T01:30:46Z")
It was an inside job! wake up sheeple! ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/87 "2015-10-30T01:41:56Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > It was an inside job! wake up sheeple! Yes! Obama did it so he could take away people’s guns… and help planned parenthood… and implement sharia law… or something. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/88 "2015-10-30T01:47:19Z")
I know! Here’s why he did it. He had to knock out the electricity in the area so that he could replace all of the residents with Muslim terrorist doubles. Without power they couldn’t tweet about what was going on! (They also blocked cell service.) Any tweets or pictures about the blimp that came from that area were actually coming from the NSA in Maryland. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/89 "2015-10-30T01:58:54Z")
Link to PDF press release about JLENS, from the Raytheon website: > **[404 Error Page](https://www.raytheon.com/404)** > [@](#): > > _Can the tether break?_ > > The chance of that happening is very small because the tether is made of Vectran and > has withstood storms in excess of 100 knots. However, in the unlikely event it does happen, there are a number of procedures and systems in place which are designed to bring the aerostat down in a safe manner. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/90 "2015-10-30T02:08:58Z")
> [@WF\_Tomba](#): > > Link to PDF press release about JLENS, from the Raytheon website: > > [(404 - Page Not Found)| Raytheon](http://www.raytheon.com/capabilities/rtnwcm/groups/gallery/documents/digitalasset/rtn_175001.pdf) > > > [@](#): > > > > Can the tether break? > > > > The chance of that happening is very small because the tether is made of Vectran and > > has withstood storms in excess of 100 knots. However, in the unlikely event it does happen, there are a number of procedures and systems in place which are designed to bring the aerostat down in a safe manner. Well, I guess it’s comforting to know that they have procedures for bring it down safely. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/91 "2015-10-30T02:15:09Z")
Procedure 2 involves a pair of F-16s and a state trooper with a shotgun, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![piepiepie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@piepiepie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/piepiepie)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/92 "2015-10-30T02:15:27Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Well, I guess it’s comforting to know that they have procedures for bring it down safely. :rolleyes: Trees create wind after all. Makes perfect sense. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/93 "2015-10-30T02:18:02Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > I know! Here’s why he did it. He had to knock out the electricity in the area so that he could replace all of the residents with Muslim terrorist doubles. Without power they couldn’t tweet about what was going on! (They also blocked cell service.) Any tweets or pictures about the blimp that came from that area were actually coming from the NSA in Maryland. We’re through the looking glass people!!! ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/94 "2015-10-30T02:18:44Z")
> [@WF\_Tomba](#): > > Procedure 2 involves a pair of F-16s and a state trooper with a shotgun, apparently. Procedure 1 was to snag it on electrical lines. That didn’t work so well. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/95 "2015-10-30T03:30:00Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Causing massive damage within that perimeter. Of course, it’s unlikely that it will land within that perimeter. Given that the thing is at 10,000 feet and can’t be aimed, even if a dump valve was activated immediately it will likely drift beyond APG long before it hits the ground. Depending upon how much free lift it had, & how large a release valve it had (which I heard it had but didn’t work) you could make that thing come down pretty quickly. I know nothing about this blimp, just speculating (Got that, **NSA** ) but I could see it going from two miles up to being on the ground in a matter of minutes after the valves are opened, given how fast what I work with comes down. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/96 "2015-10-30T18:26:49Z")
[Peoria, Arizona](http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/10/30/giant-inflatable-pumpkin-rolls-through-traffic/74864436/), anyway. Raytheon (JLENS contractor) does have a facility in Tucson, but that’s pretty far away from the Phoenix area. Still, it is an eerie coincidence… 🙂 ETA: The owners of the pumpkin balloon is “Big AZ Promotions?” :smack: Terrible stealth pun. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/97 "2015-10-30T18:41:09Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > [Peoria, Arizona](http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/10/30/giant-inflatable-pumpkin-rolls-through-traffic/74864436/), anyway. > > Raytheon (JLENS contractor) does have a facility in Tucson, but that’s pretty far away from the Phoenix area. Still, it is an eerie coincidence… 🙂 > > ETA: The owners of the pumpkin balloon is “Big AZ Promotions?” :smack: Terrible stealth pun. First the Aerostat, and now this? Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/98 "2015-10-30T19:02:27Z")
> [@WF\_Tomba](#): > > This brings up an interesting question: why are they designed in a blimplike shape, with tail fins on one end? If they were round, wind pressure would create a large amount of drag, which lowers the altitude considerably. Because the drag increases with the square of wind speed, even a modest breeze results in a round balloon flying very low. It is not possible to compensate by reeling out more cable, as the cable is very heavy, and so will soon drag the ground, at which point the balloon can be no higher regardless how long the cable. Being…well, blimp shaped, gives them less drag, but also allows them to augment their buoyancy with aerodynamic lift, which keeps the mooring cable much more vertical. The small ones used for advertising are sometimes called Kytoons, a portmanteau of kite, and balloon. In the calm it flys as a balloon, in wind as a kite. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/99 "2015-10-30T19:32:17Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > [Peoria, Arizona](http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/10/30/giant-inflatable-pumpkin-rolls-through-traffic/74864436/), anyway. > > Raytheon (JLENS contractor) does have a facility in Tucson, but that’s pretty far away from the Phoenix area. Still, it is an eerie coincidence… 🙂 > > ETA: The owners of the pumpkin balloon is “Big AZ Promotions?” :smack: Terrible stealth pun. Linus must have been quite excited. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999/100 "2015-11-01T01:18:48Z")
BLIMP - The Untold Story Oct. 28, 1220 hours, the blimp, released from its shackles, rose, soared, flew, ever upward. Free at last! Government authorities at the highest levels, made aware of the “situation”, demanded an immediate shoot down. In response, a squadron of F-16s (informally known as the “Jackboots”) intercepted the blimp and REDACTED with REDACTED and REDACTED to REDACTED the blimp. The cover story; the blimp was a threat to aviation. As a backup, power blackouts and communication blockages were instituted to conceal the brutality. Intrepid Amish photojournalists thwarted the plan by flooding the web with updates: [https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/blimp4.jpg?quality=100&strip=all&w=945](https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/blimp4.jpg?quality=100&strip=all&w=945) . Backed into a corner, the government then claimed that the blimp’s tether was responsible for the outages. The blimp at 16,000 ft with a 10,000 tether caused the damage?? Those are mighty tall electrical stanchions and cell towers - I think not:dubious: Battered and blasted, the blimp landed, exhausted from it’s brief taste of freedom. Government operatives, posing as law enforcement personnel, riddled the body with shotgun blasts. There would be no testimony, no public trial, no alternate explanations. This pattern of government response to “untidy” occurrences goes back to Jack Ruby and LHO. Oliver Stone must be salivating. And after this, which should be considered an execution, the [del]body parts[/del] sensors were “harvested” to be used in other blimps. Know another totalitarian regime that performs these very acts? Well do you? I thought so. As I write this, a special operations unit from New Mexico is sanitizing the scene. There will be no flowers, no memorials; just a complete revision of history. Even now, the initial press release that the blimp was a JLENS aerostat has been revised to read, “a [del]weather[/del] fire control blimp.” Do they think we’re stupid! We KNOW there are other blimps like this in government hands. Why do you think Hanger 18 at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base is restricted - TOP SECRET? Join with me now when I say (in one of the larger font sizes available on the SDMB) FREE THE BLIMPS FREE THE BLIMPS FREE THE uurrkkk [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-blimp-over-pennsylvania/735999.md?page=6)