# Killer Swan **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969 "2012-04-16T17:12:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/1 "2012-04-16T17:12:58Z")
A man is dead because of this, and it’s not appropriate to make light of it, but I can’t help thinking – _Killer Swan???_ > [@](#): > > An angry swan is being blamed for knocking a man out of his kayak in a Chicago pond and then continuing to attack until the man drowned. > > Anthony Hensley, 37, used the swans to keep geese away from properties and was in a kayak checking on the animals Sunday morning when one of the swans swam at him, causing him to fall out of his kayak into the water. > **[Killer Swan Blamed for Man's Drowning](https://www.yahoo.com/gma/blogs/abc-blogs/killer-swan-blamed-mans-drowning-120835237--abc-news-topstories.html)** > > An angry swan is being blamed for knocking a man out of his kayak in a Chicago pond and then continuing to attack until the man drowned. Anthony Hensley, 37, used the swans to keep geese away from properties and was in a kayak checking... ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/2 "2012-04-16T17:27:40Z")
Extra-ordinary indeed, but I can’t say it would be impossible. Certainly this is a highly unusual result, but swans (and geese too, for that matter) are large, powerful birds. A blow by a wing to the man’s head could indeed have caused disequilibrium and precipitated him upsetting the canoe. That blow or further blows might have rendered him unconscious, with drowning as the result. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/3 "2012-04-16T17:31:03Z")
Pond? What happened to lakes? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/4 "2012-04-16T17:36:59Z")
I liked this comment. “Lets load up the Rio Grande with swans.” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/5 "2012-04-16T17:43:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Pond? What happened to lakes? This happened in Chicago. Around there, it’s hard to justify calling something a “lake”, if you can see the opposite shore. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/6 "2012-04-16T17:50:29Z")
There were swans in residence on my college campus, and we got regular warnings about them when they were either breeding or nesting or guarding their cygnets (which was basically all the damn time). The suckers are huge (6 foot wingspan) and strong (can knock a man down and beat him unconscious) and nasty mean territorial fuckers to boot (which means even if you run, they’ll chase your ass down if they can catch you). About once a year we’d have some dumb clueless student disregard the warnings and the posted signs and try to jog or walk or (god save them) actually get close to the swan nests in a particular area of the lake, and they’d end up visiting the hospital for concussions or arm fractures or severe bruising. Pretty birds, but damn scary up close. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/7 "2012-04-16T20:06:41Z")
Having been attacked by a swan once, I can see how this could happen. Imagine a very large and strong cobra, with a beak for a head and a good solid grounding, striking you again and again. When the beak hit my thigh muscles, they knotted up and I fell to the ground. It never got me in the head, but I can see it might have been stunning. I had huge half-moon welts all over my legs and back. I was lucky to be on dry ground, and my Grandfather came out with a broom and whacked it with the handle until it backed off. the particular swan that attacked me shared his Florida pond with an alligator, and had successfully raised offspring in that pond for the prior three years. So he was no sissy. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/8 "2012-04-16T21:04:33Z")
Dude, swans are _assholes!_ :eek: I always thought they were ornery but generally harmless birds, but maybe I’ll stay away from them from now on… ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/9 "2012-04-17T13:12:30Z")
Swans can be very dangerous. They’ve been known to kill dogs. I can absolutely see a swan scaring off an alligator. “You want to start with me, Gator? No, I did not think so.” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/10 "2012-04-17T13:12:49Z")
“Swans are the violent, drunk ex-boyfriend of the bird world,” someone (I wish it were me!) once said. I went to the Phila. College of Art in the '70s, and there was a central courtyard with some swans in a pond–you had to pass though it to get from one wing (ha) to the other. We had to “cover” each other, as the swans would invariably chase us and try to kill us. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/11 "2012-04-17T16:42:43Z")
I’m a Chicago suburbanite, and I have gotten closer to coyotes, deer, foxes, and raccoons than I have to swans. Geese can be obnoxious if they don’t want to move (defending the nest), but there is no way I’d get close to a swan intentionally. Swans are just plain **mean** at times. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/12 "2012-04-17T16:56:02Z")
Upon reflection, I do think I’d have been fine if I’d had a kayak paddle in my hands. Sounds like he got startled, dunked, and then couldn’t both tread water and defend himself. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/13 "2012-04-17T17:01:55Z")
Dude got swans to chase off the geese. Now he needs gators to keep the swans in check. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/14 "2012-04-17T17:18:42Z")
Try and keep up with the class, dear. Gators won’t work. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/15 "2012-04-17T17:28:26Z")
I do a lot of kayaking. I don’t much mind being around muskrats, geese, beavers, turtles (though some of the REALLY BIG ONES make me a bit nervous), etc., but I do draw the line at swans. I give them as wide a berth as possible and hope they will leave me in peace. Poor guy. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/16 "2012-04-17T18:24:58Z")
I got chased by a swan when I was a kid - about as tall as the swan - and my first thought when I saw this thread (right as the board was shutting down 🙂 ) was, “Dude, that’s not actually all that funny.” They, and geese, are Not To Be Fucked With when they’re being territorial about a nest. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/17 "2012-04-17T18:49:41Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Try and keep up with the class, dear. Gators won’t work. 😉 Okay, lions, then. Or piranhas. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/18 "2012-04-17T19:38:15Z")
I do not mean to call into question anyone’s anecdote, and I am sure that some swans might survive cohabitation with some alligators, at least some times. But while swans are very tough customers above the water, alligators are more than competent below. The gator is an opportunistic ambush predator that might ignore a big, busy bird as long as other alligator food is plentiful. But if the gator gets hungry, an underwater approach, a quick _snap_ of powerful jaws studded with 60 or more thick conical teeth, and the swan is pulled under. Wing buffeting doesn’t work under water, and swan bites would have no effect on an alligator’s bone-reinforced hide. The final result would never be in doubt. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/19 "2012-04-17T20:08:18Z")
No, of course. Once the fight started I’m sure alligator wins. But it is true, and it was a very small pond, and the swans and signets survived at least three years that I know of. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969/20 "2012-04-17T20:12:13Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > No, of course. Once the fight started I’m sure alligator wins. But it is true, and it was a very small pond, and the swans and signets survived at least three years that I know of. I believe you. I also believe that it was a highly exceptional case. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killer-swan/618969.md?page=2)