# Killing kindergartners with a cleaver?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [May 12, 2010, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197 "2010-05-12T18:01:33Z")
**Posts on this page:** 19
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/41 "2010-05-13T00:25:52Z")
If they outlaw cleavers, only outlaws will have cleavers.
Anyway, they can pry my cleaver out of my cold dead hand. Luckily for me, I might not need to be dead, if someone chops off my hand with a cleaver.
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### Author:  [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/42 "2010-05-13T00:35:35Z")
> [@Bill\_Door](#):
>
> I suppose awarding the thread title an award for alliteration would be the mark of a sick son of a bitch?
It doesn’t have quite the same ring as “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park”, though.
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### Author:  [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/43 "2010-05-13T00:41:56Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim]
Luckily for me, I might not need to be dead, if someone chops off my hand with a cleaver.
[/QUOTE]
I’ll just leave it to Beaver…
-XT
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### Author:  [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/44 "2010-05-13T00:44:55Z")
> [@lieu](#):
>
> According to the article, copycats.
>
> \*The attacks come despite the execution of Zheng Minsheng, 42, a former community doctor who stabbed eight children to death and wounded five others at an elementary school in eastern China on March 23.
>
> Zheng, executed by a firing squad in Nanping City late last month, told investigators he carried out the attack because he was frustrated by “failures in his romantic life and in society,” according to Xinhua.
> And China apparently doesn’t devote a lot of resources to the appeals process. Geez, a March murderer was executed by April? Woah.
Sounds like he confessed to doing it, so why should he get an appeal? I am more wondering why he was not taken out back and hung immediately.
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/45 "2010-05-13T01:52:51Z")
> [@Kobal2](#):
>
> (Re: OP title) Well, what else are you gonna kill kindergartners with ? Guns would just be tacky, not to mention unsporting.
Try killing them softly, with a song.
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### Author:  [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/46 "2010-05-13T02:12:10Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> So the psycho _chose to be_ psycho? Does a cancer patient choose to get cancer?
Of course. Would you rather he chose to be gay? That’s an abomination!
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### Author:  [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/47 "2010-05-13T02:18:02Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#):
>
> It doesn’t have quite the same ring as “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park”, though.
Oh great now that song will be in my mind forevermore when I see that title…now, if I only LIKED the song :mad:😃
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### Author:  [@Dostoyevsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dostoyevsky)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/48 "2010-05-13T06:07:40Z")
> [@Revtim](#):
>
> God cannot, that would violate the psycho’s free will.
And CLEARLY preserving an unthinking person’s potential for chaos should be priority number one on a cosmic to-do-list.
(Sarcasm not directed at you, **Revtim**.)
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### Author:  [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/49 "2010-05-13T06:15:23Z")
> [@Dostoyevsky](#):
>
> And CLEARLY preserving an unthinking person’s potential for chaos should be priority number one on a cosmic to-do-list.
“When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.”
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/50 "2010-05-13T07:03:43Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#):
>
> Japan will have a video game in the pipeline already then.
This would make a good game for the Wii. Maybe even have a special controller.
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### Author:  [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/51 "2010-05-13T07:53:31Z")
I really do not like _God helps him who helps himself,_ which is simply non-Biblical.
Then off course is the confusion over the Sin of Sodom. Most believers are pretty shallow, like everyone else.
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### Author:  [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/52 "2010-05-13T10:44:05Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#):
>
> I really do not like _God helps him who helps himself,_ which is simply non-Biblical.
Actually, it \*is \*biblical; it’s just not very New Testament.
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/53 "2010-05-13T13:15:33Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> To the contrary, guns would be neat and professional, if admittedly unsporting. Knives and cleavers are increddibly messy by comparison, and there’s your tacky right there.
Bard, don’t you think you were a little tough on the cleaver last night?
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### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/54 "2010-05-13T15:32:32Z")
> [@aruvqan](#):
>
> Sounds like he confessed to doing it, so why should he get an appeal? I am more wondering why he was not taken out back and hung immediately.
Yes, because Chinese “confessions” are so unusual. Just ask the guy who [confessed to murder](http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article7121815.ece) only to have his victim come by to visit, alive and well, after ten years in prison. Or the other guy who “confessed” to killing is wife, until she turned up 11 years later.
In this stabbing case, there seems to have been no doubt, but lets not say that a confession in China means much given the way they are obtained.
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### Author:  [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/55 "2010-05-13T15:45:36Z")
All we know about these cases is what the Chinese media is telling us. Meaning nothing of value, for reasons **Cellphone** mentioned and others.
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### Author:  [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/56 "2010-05-13T16:37:37Z")
(You will excuse my post about the God helps them…) I put it in the wrong thread. Excuse me.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2010, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/57 "2010-05-14T22:25:24Z")
> [@Dostoyevsky](#):
>
> Who does [this?](http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/05/11/china.school.attack/index.html?hpt=T1)
:mad: Be fair! They’re what, five years old?! It would be unsporting to kill them with a rifle!
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### Author:  [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/58 "2010-05-14T23:15:14Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#):
>
> All we know about these cases is what the Chinese media is telling us. Meaning nothing of value, for reasons **Cellphone** mentioned and others.
It would be more fair to say that one needs to look at what the Chinese media tells us with a healthy does of skepticism. It’s not all propaganda, fiction and spin. Even the National Enquirer on rare occaisions get a real scoop.
Chinese journalism tends toward sensationalism, and there is censorship. That said, the censorship generally is to reflect well on the communist party and central government. Reports of uncovering corruption play big as it is righting a wrong. You won’t see a front page expose of “I was Hu Jintao’s coke whore” though.
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### Author:  [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/killing-kindergartners-with-a-cleaver/539197/59 "2010-05-14T23:22:40Z")
Obviously this guy wanted to play out this scenario in real life:
[http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/](http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/)
except he forgot that weapons aren’t allowed.
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