# Kilts...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kilts/1127>\
**Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\
**Created:** [March 2, 2000, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kilts/1127 "2000-03-02T19:40:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\
**Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kilts/1127/21 "2000-03-31T03:45:00Z")

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Hmmm… Does this help?

VVV…VVV…VVV…  
V…VVV…VVV…MM  
V…VVV…VVV…MM  
…VVV…VVV…MMMM  
…VVV…VVV…MMMM  
VVV…VVV…MMMMM  
VVV…VVV…MMMMM  
V…VVV…MMMMMMM  
V…VVV…MMMMMMM  
…VVV…MMMMMMMM  
…VVV…MMMMMMMM  
VVV…MMMMMMMMMM  
VVV…MMV…V…VMMM  
V…MMMV…V…V…MMM  
V…MMMM…V…V.MMM  
…MMMMMMMMMMMM  
…MMMMMMMMMM

No, huh?

* * *

No, that’s wrong–try this:  
_Party per bend sinister wavy bendy sinister wavy vert & or, & sable, in fess point a demi-pellet en soleil inverted & bendwise sinister issuant from the party, in sinister base a roundel bendy sinister wavy vert & or._

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**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\
**Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kilts/1127/22 "2000-03-31T16:12:00Z")

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I don’t think most of you or Cecil has felt a real kilt. They are actually VERY heavy fabric. Not at all like american skirts, which are very light. kilts are very thick wool.

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**Author:** ![UncaStuart](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uncastuart/32/404_2.png) [@UncaStuart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncaStuart)\
**Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kilts/1127/23 "2000-03-31T16:40:00Z")

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Additional safety tip:

When driving a convertable, ensure that you have enough heavy gear in your sporran to keep the wind eddies from lifting the kilt in front of your face and obscuring your vision–not to mention giving a passing tour bus a shock (ruefully learned driving an old MG roadster to Highland games).

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**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kilts/1127/24 "2000-04-02T01:03:00Z")

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Yeah, it is quite heavy fabric, and wool. But I’ve only worn a great kilt, not the modern ones.

Continuing to deviate from the OP, if anyone (DrFidelius?) wants to know more about my weird sig, you can check out

Link 1: [http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006715.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006715.html)

&

Link 2: [http://foolsguinea.intercosmos.com/cogniz.html](http://foolsguinea.intercosmos.com/cogniz.html)

OK? OK.

* * *

_Party per bend sinister wavy bendy sinister wavy vert & or, & sable, in fess point a demi-pellet ensorcelled rayonny or inverted & bendwise sinister issuant from the party, in sinister base a roundel bendy sinister wavy vert & or._  
Or something…  
[Oh, just go _here._](http://foolsguinea.intercosmos.com/cogniz.html)

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**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kilts/1127/25 "2000-04-04T23:24:00Z")

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In the words of the old joke:  
“Excuse me, sir. Is anything worn under the kilt?”  
“No, madam, it’s all in perfect working order.” :rolleyes:  
[boffo British laffs]

* * *

Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.  
—Fran Lebowitz

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