# Kindly Refrain From Telling My Kid To Ask For A Sibling! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 19, 2001, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kindly-refrain-from-telling-my-kid-to-ask-for-a-sibling/50840 "2001-01-19T08:40:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kindly-refrain-from-telling-my-kid-to-ask-for-a-sibling/50840/41 "2001-01-20T17:11:36Z")
\ “Well, you know, that’s not the kind of thing I feel comfortable discussing here. Why don’t you come back to my place and we can talk about it over a steaming hot cup of shut-the-hell-up?” \ I feel for ya, tater! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![633squadron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/ee59a6/32.png) [@633squadron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/633squadron)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kindly-refrain-from-telling-my-kid-to-ask-for-a-sibling/50840/42 "2001-01-20T21:03:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tatertot \* > I was hesitant to post this in the Pit, since I know that the people who are guilty of this mean well but I just can’t deal with it anymore. > > I am just so sick of thoughtless people telling me that I need to have another baby or worse I hereby call upon the Power of the universe to visit a painful case of grape-sized hemerroids on anyone who does this to you again! And I feel with you, the sadness of your situation. I hope that somehow you fulfill your dream to have more, and if not, that your love fills the world anyway for those children who feel unwanted. So there. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kindly-refrain-from-telling-my-kid-to-ask-for-a-sibling/50840/43 "2001-01-22T13:34:37Z")
tater, The **VERY DAY** you posted the OP, (and I was thinking about it a lot) I went to my husbands office to see him. He had a client/friend in there and what do you think he said to me?? You guessed it. “So, when are you having a baby??” (they just had one) I looked shocked and just said “I guess when storks **really** start delivering them”, and changed the subject. I couldn’t be rude, but Christ I wanted to. So this one’s for him- FUCK YOU!! Zette ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kindly-refrain-from-telling-my-kid-to-ask-for-a-sibling/50840/44 "2001-01-22T17:15:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Unless you are under 25 - then you will be a baby having a baby. Plus you should think about your career. > > Or unless you are over 35 - then you get the earnestly concerned questions about are you sure it would be safe to have a baby. You really shouldn’t have put so much emphasis on your career, you know. > > Assuming you have said baby, I guarantee that some wise guy will ask when you’ll have another before the cord falls off…sometimes they manage to do it before the cord is even cut. > > However, if you have said second baby too soon after the first, people will assume it was a mistake. > > But…if you wait to long between children, then they will assume it was a mistake too. > > If you only have children of one sex, they will assume you are just dying to have one of the opposite sex. > > If you have more than two children, then they will either assume you are careless or Catholic. More enlightened people realize that Mormon is an option, too Beautifully said! Like if you stay home with the kids you don’t have a meaningful life, but if you go to work you are shortchanging your kids. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cajo \* > > Let me weigh in as an unmarried, boyfriendless woman: STOP asking me when I’m going to have kids! I’m ALONE, fool – are you telling me to visit a sperm bank or have an unprotected one-night stand? I’m that and celibate for religious reasons. I’ve said that to some of my friends but I still get, “How was your weekend? Did you…have sex?” (no lie) “You weren’t home, were you getting busy with a boyfriend?” Or the whole,. oh, you can have a baby anyway. How’s that? OK, is the word “celibate” somehow misleading? How about, “I’m not into that”. What will it take to get the message through? I certainly agree and sympathize with the points so far but I also think people can be a little too forthcoming (not here, but in public) which may encourage people to then feel comfortable asking what they shouldn’t. I was irked by the episode of “Mad About You” when they decide to start trying. OK, fine, but then it becomes, “I think it’s OK to tell people we’re going to start trying.” I even got a Christmas letter from friends which I assume was going to a whole range of people, where the couple let us know they were going to start trying within the next year. Now, that only makes me start thinking about what’s been going on so far, etc. I’m not even going to get started about the Christmas letter announcing the guy’s father-in-law’s bunions… ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kindly-refrain-from-telling-my-kid-to-ask-for-a-sibling/50840/45 "2001-01-22T18:10:37Z")
so I really don’t have anything to add to the conversation, but I just wanted to hug **tatertot** and say that I’m very sorry for your loss. **{{{{{tatertot}}}}}** And also to hug… **{{{{{everyone who’s lost a child}}}}}** ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Teeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Dr.Teeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Teeth)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kindly-refrain-from-telling-my-kid-to-ask-for-a-sibling/50840/46 "2001-01-22T20:57:17Z")
Tater, Oh, do I ever feel your pain. I was married for 6 1/2 years before the little one came along (5 months ago), which is very unusual in this family-oriented culture in which I live. I also had a miscarriage thrown in there, too. I got good at answering nosy children questions. There are a lot of good suggestions for how to handle these questions in this thread, but here are a few more. If you feel like being sarcastic, try these: Oaf: When are you going to have children? Sarcastic answer #1: We do have them. We have five, but we keep them all locked in the basement. [If your husband is there, even better, because he can tap your shoulder and say, quietly, “Only four, now. Remember, honey?”] Sarcastic answer #2: We’ll go ahead and have some as soon as [husband’s] molestation charges are dismissed. Sarcastic answer #3: [slap forehead] Children! Having children! THAT’S what we forgot to do! [Of course I don’t advocate child molestation or abuse. However, I think that stupid questions deserve sarcastic answers. Shock value is the only thing that gets the point across to some.] If you can’t be sarcastic–like if you’re in a professional setting–then the best response, IMO, is simple: “My, isn’t THAT a personal question!” Smile politely, and then either leave or change the subject. There is NO response to that one. Dunno 'bout you, Tater, but I always felt more armed and secure when I had a few good answers ready… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kindly-refrain-from-telling-my-kid-to-ask-for-a-sibling/50840.md?page=2)