# Kinks. What are yours? What's too much? (TMI, duh!) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 23, 2006, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890 "2006-06-23T17:25:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/61 "2006-06-29T13:07:11Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > This sounds utterly impossible to Google. Can we have another hint? Think of sausage in a bun, with the bun being a woman’s breasts, and the sausage, well… Not sure why I’m being so roundabout about it, but hey… ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/62 "2006-06-29T13:29:56Z")
At first I wasn’t going to post my kinks here, but now that I’ve come back and several other people have mentioned them… I love me some BDSM (switch) and feet. Actually, most of my friends know about these propensities, and though I get some occasional teasing, it’s not a big deal. There’s something weird about posting it on an anonymous message board, though… ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/63 "2006-06-29T14:36:45Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > Maybe “kink” is best: I’ve always found it very erotic to imagine myself switching places with my partner somehow — that is, if I were female and my partner were somehow male. For some reason I think that’s… well, kinky. > > I do not (to my knowledge) have gender dysphoria, and I don’t plan on having any surgery. It’s just… I dunno. If it actually ever happened I’d probably freak completely out and my head would fall off and I’d probably die after that, but the idea of it just appeals. I’ve thought about that, myself. Like you, I have no interest in actually becoming female, but the thought is…well, interesting. I’m curious to know how it feels from the other side. > [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Think of sausage in a bun, with the bun being a woman’s breasts, and the sausage, well… > Not sure why I’m being so roundabout about it, but hey… Ah, the Hawaiian Muscle Fuck. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/64 "2006-06-29T17:46:49Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Dude, as we see whenever the topic of sex and/or dating comes up, you have some _serious_ issues. Mmmmyeh, but hey, I’m open to resolving them. Let’s get comfy, open a bottle o’ red, loosen a few key pieces of clothing… > [@](#): > > I’ve never heard anyone over the age of 25 use the term “vanilla sex” to mean anything like the above: I hear it used by people to describe a kind of sex that doesn’t do it for _them_, not to describe a kind of sex that they believe couldn’t possibly do it for anyone else. Most of the kinky folks I know firmly believe in “whatever works for you.” Okay then, that takes a load off my mind…thanks. More wine? Kick those shoes off maybe? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/65 "2006-06-29T17:48:15Z")
> [@rinni](#): > > […]I think I’d like to have a boyfriend with a foot fetish. Having my feet touched doesn’t turn me on, but it’s so freaking relaxing. I pretty much want my feet touched all the time, it’s just one of the most pleasurable things ever. It’s one of those things that could make me fall asleep blissfully. What might I do afterwards to make you awaken blissfully? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/66 "2006-06-29T21:36:39Z")
Which brings me to another of my semi-fetishes-I-want-to-try–waking a girl up with cunnilingus. I tried to do it with my last girlfriend, but she’s a ninja when it comes to waking up, and I could never get down there without her noticing. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/67 "2006-06-29T22:07:09Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Think of sausage in a bun, with the bun being a woman’s breasts, and the sausage, well… > Not sure why I’m being so roundabout about it, but hey… …Titty fucking dude. You can come out and say it. I have to say, I just pretty much adapt to my partner. So that’s included, lite bondage, roleplay, kama sutra, rape fantasies, anal, felching… okay no felching… ---
**Author:** ![meenie7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7993a0/32.png) [@meenie7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meenie7)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/68 "2006-06-30T06:09:43Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > Dunno what you’d call this. “Fetish” doesn’t really apply, since it’s impossible to actually _do_, and “fantasy” doesn’t really work, because I’m not sure if I’d _really_ want it to ever happen anyway. > > Maybe “kink” is best: I’ve always found it very erotic to imagine myself switching places with my partner somehow — that is, if I were female and my partner were somehow male. For some reason I think that’s… well, kinky. > > I do not (to my knowledge) have gender dysphoria, and I don’t plan on having any surgery. It’s just… I dunno. If it actually ever happened I’d probably freak completely out and my head would fall off and I’d probably die after that, but the _idea_ of it just appeals. > > Yeah, I know it’s weird, but you asked. 🙂 I have a very similar thing…no gender dysphoria, I’m glad to be a girl, etc., but I love to imagine that I’m a guy in my sexual fantasies. Strangely enough, I really like pretending in my mind to be a gay guy. (Especially strange when you consider that I’m pretty much a lesbian, so guys really don’t do it for me in real life…) My other major thing that’s purely imaginary is that I am a writer, and I love to pretend to be my characters when having…solo entertainment, as it were. Always male characters, and usually gay male characters. I really get into their mindspace and react to things differently than i would myself. I make up whole dialogues between the couple I’m imagining at the time, and switch perspectives and reenact all stages of the activities (i.e. all the kissing, feeling up, etc. in addition to imagining the actual sex stuff). As far as real life stuff, I like to bite and suck on people. I like to suck hard enough and long enough to pull the taste of blood through the skin. I really wish this didn’t leave marks, because that makes people less willing to let me do it. In the sad column, I really think that I would have the ability to get off better when I’m with other people if I could cry out as though in pain when I was having sex. Now, I don’t want the person to actually hurt me…in fact, I’m a softy who hates pain. i just want them to dominate me a little, maybe tie me to the bed with really soft scarves or something or hold my wrists down, and just do their thing while I scream and cry and say “No, no, don’t hurt me, no, I’ll do anything you want, just please, please don’t hurt me, let me go, please!” I don’t know what that would be called… Also, I have this really weird attraction to ballet pointe shoes. I find them very erotic, especially the ones with the ribbons that lace up the leg. Yeah, I’m messed up. ---
**Author:** ![kevegan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kevegan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevegan)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/69 "2006-06-30T06:23:18Z")
I have two kinks: older women and maple syrup. I love to cover the woman’s body in syrup and then lick it off. Most don’t mind a bit, since they’ve already been warmed up and are hot to trot. Some like to reciprocate, so I always keep some chocolate spread to hand, since, even though I don’t like it, most women seem to have a sweet tooth. Strangest request I ever got was from this Australian divorcee, who wanted to know if I had any Vegemite. Hell, I didn’t even know what Vegemite was! Had to make do with strawberry jelly, which was messy, but a cost-benefit analysis would still show me way in the black on that particular night. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/70 "2006-06-30T06:32:23Z")
> [@meenie7](#): > > i just want them to dominate me a little, maybe tie me to the bed with really soft scarves or something or hold my wrists down, and just do their thing while I scream and cry and say “No, no, don’t hurt me, no, I’ll do anything you want, just please, please don’t hurt me, let me go, please!” I don’t know what that would be called… I believe you’re referencing bondage and submission. ---
**Author:** ![meenie7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7993a0/32.png) [@meenie7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meenie7)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/71 "2006-06-30T06:50:49Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > I believe you’re referencing bondage and submission. Hmm…I dunno, I always thought submission had the element of having to do what the dominant person tells you to do and stuff, too, or having to endure pain, too, and like i said, I’m a big softy and I hate pain. I just have the urge to yell and cry and struggle like I’m being hurt when I’m…excited, and because it would seem weird and upset the person i was with, I have to not express it, and I end up just not saying or doing much of anything during the…act, to the detriment of my own pleasure (and probably theirs, since they prolly thing I don’t really like sex…) ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/72 "2006-06-30T06:55:30Z")
> [@meenie7](#): > > Hmm…I dunno, I always thought submission had the element of having to do what the dominant person tells you to do and stuff, too, or having to endure pain, too, and like i said, I’m a big softy and I hate pain. I just have the urge to yell and cry and struggle like I’m being hurt when I’m…excited, and because it would seem weird and upset the person i was with, I have to not express it, and I end up just not saying or doing much of anything during the…act, to the detriment of my own pleasure (and probably theirs, since they prolly thing I don’t really like sex…) Submission, as I understand it, need involve no pain. It is basically that you’re there solely for the enjoyment of the other person. (I could go on, but it’d approach Penthouse Forum language, and I like the mods far too much to inflict that upon them.) Tell your partner what you want:) If you’re not getting it and not saying anything, it’s hard to blame the other person for not being a mind-reader. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/73 "2006-06-30T07:05:21Z")
> [@meenie7](#): > > i just want them to dominate me a little, maybe tie me to the bed with really soft scarves or something or hold my wrists down, and just do their thing while I scream and cry and say “No, no, don’t hurt me, no, I’ll do anything you want, just please, please don’t hurt me, let me go, please!” I don’t know what that would be called… Some people might also call it a rape fantasy. Sounds strange, I know, but it’s not unheard of; seems like it’s come up on the Dope before. ---
**Author:** ![kevegan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kevegan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevegan)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/74 "2006-06-30T07:23:35Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > Some people might also call it a rape fantasy. Sounds strange, I know, but it’s not unheard of; seems like it’s come up on the Dope before. Not strange at all. Many normal, well-balanced women have this fantasy. Satin cords and stuff get a fair workout in my bedroom. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/75 "2006-06-30T07:37:58Z")
My kinks, as they are, have the unfortunate problem of being nigh-impossible for me to achieve outside private fantasies. You see, I have a real thing for bisexual and lesbian women, and more specifically threesomes and group sex. I’ve also got an interest in BDSM (as a dominant), but the scene around here is almost non-existent, and the people who are involved are old enough to be my parents. That’s not a problem for me (I’ve been with older women before), but it does mean I’ve got no-one to play with. ☹ My lovely fiancee, you see, has zero interest in either other women or sex involving anyone except the two of us, and while we’ve tried some light bondage, it’s just not the sort of relationship I want with her. I’m just not comfortable tying her up and giving her a thorough spanking, which I know sounds weird, but there you are. So, in short, I’m an engaged guy who has some interesting but not unusual tastes, and zero chance of getting them fufilled anytime soon… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/76 "2006-06-30T07:42:36Z")
“Rape fantasy” and “submission” probably have a certain amount of overlap, but it’s odd: one sounds to me like it should be unnatural and strange — why would you want someone to commit a crime against you? — and the other sounds perfectly healthy. Probably just a sematics thing. ---
**Author:** ![kevegan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kevegan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevegan)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/77 "2006-06-30T07:48:45Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > “Rape fantasy” and “submission” probably have a certain amount of overlap, but it’s odd: one sounds to me like it should be unnatural and strange — why would you want someone to commit a crime against you? — and the other sounds perfectly healthy. > > Probably just a sematics thing. Women in the bedroom rarely (never in my experience) say: “I want to submit to you”, they say: “Rape me!” That’s why we call them fantasies. Not something you ever want in reality - but something that turns you on in the depths of your sexual being. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/78 "2006-06-30T09:10:18Z")
> [@meenie7](#): > > Hmm…I dunno, I always thought submission had the element of having to do what the dominant person tells you to do and stuff, too, or having to endure pain, too, and like i said, I’m a big softy and I hate pain. I just have the urge to yell and cry and struggle like I’m being hurt when I’m…excited, and because it would seem weird and upset the person i was with, I have to not express it, and I end up just not saying or doing much of anything during the…act, to the detriment of my own pleasure (and probably theirs, since they prolly thing I don’t really like sex…) This is why people use “safe words”, so that “Ow!” doesn’t mean “Stop!” and “Stop!” doesn’t mean “Stop!”, and nor does “Help!”, “Mercy!”, “It hurts!” or anything else like that - but “Whisky sour!” means “Too far, please stop at once!”. To be worked out by prior arrangement. Not so much submission, for the reasons stated above, but more like plain straightforward role-playing, and for heaven’s sake, why _not_? I’ve had a woman say “Be rough with me” during sex, and let’s just say, better be sure you mean it. ::evil grin smiley:: ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/79 "2006-06-30T10:50:26Z")
I’m another guy who loves to use toys on women, but has rarely had the chance to do so, because previous ones were against it. My first sexual girlfriend was not interested in sex toys at all (she said that she can get off fine with her hands or a guy, so why use a vibrator?) The next one actually _owned_ a vibrator, but I never knew this until about two weeks before we broke up. I found it one night while getting a condom out of her bedside drawer, and it was right there. I attempted to use it on her, and she said no, and said no the other times i tried to. She was embarassed by it, she said. No, I don’t know why, because she was always poen about masturbating, but apparantly once you aid mastubating “with an aid”, it becomes embarassing? The most recent ex I actually got the chance to a few times. Long story short, I and a friend of hers convinced her that sex toys can be fun, and after she bought it, used it on herself and had it used on her, she agreed. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890/80 "2006-06-30T11:17:19Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > Which brings me to another of my semi-fetishes-I-want-to-try–waking a girl up with cunnilingus. I tried to do it with my last girlfriend, but she’s a ninja when it comes to waking up, and I could never get down there without her noticing. You should have hung out with my ex. She once had three orgasms without waking up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kinks-what-are-yours-whats-too-much-tmi-duh/361890.md?page=5)