# Kirk Cameron wants to know if You're a Christian **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 27, 2004, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388 "2004-10-27T04:24:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/41 "2004-10-27T13:22:21Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > “I refuse to believe that I exist,” says the Atheist, “for belief implies faith, and without lack of faith I am nothing.” > > “But,” says Cameron, “the Bible is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It proves you don’t exist, and therefore, by your own arguments, you do.” > > “Oh dear, I hadn’t thought of that,” says the Atheist, and promptly disappears to talk to someone else. > > (sorry, DA) At least he didn’t vanish in a puff of logic. (Great one!) ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/42 "2004-10-27T13:35:47Z")
blah blah blah blah blah. God this is a chatty site. :eek: Oh no, I used the name of he who has given me everything as a flithy cuss word, something I would not even use hitlers name for… :eek: Oh no, I forgot to capitalize the “h” in He when I used it in reference to god… :eek: I didn’t capitalze the G…Must buy the DVD set to atone for my sins!!! ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/43 "2004-10-27T13:44:53Z")
In my last church, the Home Group leader got some of Kirk’s tapes and wanted us to do a weekly study of them. They may probably do it in the future. We were supposed to find a non christian we knew and ask them questions over a period of time, hopefully leading up to their conversion. Kirk came across …weird…in the videos, sortof Moonie-like if you know what I mean. I can’t even imagine him burping. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/44 "2004-10-27T13:49:20Z")
> [@](#): > > If you have touched the heater bar of God’s love and forgiveness… Ohhh. So that was _God_. I just thought it was college and I was experimenting. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/45 "2004-10-27T14:01:37Z")
What kind of church does he belong to anyway? Oh, tell Kirk I am. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/46 "2004-10-27T14:04:52Z")
Wow, this loser is still around? Last I heard about him, he had disowned thy father and thy mother. ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/47 "2004-10-27T14:31:25Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > I have a motive? I always thought that the whole point of being agnostic is that I don’t give a shit! [sigh]…I wish you people would read the manuals. We don’t put them out for our health, you know. The Agnostic Manual is over there in the You Are So Going to Hell section, right next to the leatherbound copy of the Gay Agenda… ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/48 "2004-10-27T16:06:20Z")
The first time I saw that site I wondered just how much ‘pull’, or ‘juice’ or ‘mojo’ does Kirk Cameron have? Is there anybody out there who is going to be swayed into being born again just because Mike Seaver is on board? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/49 "2004-10-27T16:12:39Z")
It seems to me that Kirk Cameron is of the “Not MY Fault You’re Going to Hell” school of evangelism. Folks like that don’t take the time to get to knoe pwople, befriend them and demonstrate the power of divine love in their loves. Instead, they like to talk at you, give you a quick “JesuslovesyousobelieveorburninHellforever” then, when their target shrugs off their attewmpt at conversion can rest easy knowing that he tried but the Hellbound heathen just wouldn’t listen. His show on TBN is hilarious. I watched an episode where KJirk tried to refute evolutionary biology–it became clear that this poor dunce has never had a science class in his life. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/50 "2004-10-27T16:18:28Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > It seems to me that Kirk Cameron is of the “Not MY Fault You’re Going to Hell” school of evangelism. Folks like that don’t take the time to get to knoe pwople, befriend them and demonstrate the power of divine love in their loves. Instead, they like to talk at you, give you a quick “JesuslovesyousobelieveorburninHellforever” then, when their target shrugs off their attewmpt at conversion can rest easy knowing that he tried but the Hellbound heathen just wouldn’t listen. > > His show on TBN is hilarious. I watched an episode where KJirk tried to refute evolutionary biology–it became clear that this poor dunce has never had a science class in his life. I can just imagine the forum, where Kirk is allowed to trot out the usual fallacies about the second law of thermodynamics and “irreducible complexity” to a sympathetic and ignorant audience without any rebuttal, unless they have some caricature of a scientist pretend to be nunplused by Kirk’s blathering. ---
**Author:** ![Gamaliel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b487fb/32.png) [@Gamaliel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gamaliel)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/51 "2004-10-27T16:46:38Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > I once heard a strange bit of trivia, that Kirk Cameron has never shown his nipples either on television, in a movie, or in a photograph. I don’t know whether it is true, but if it is, it might explain much. Who keeps track of this kind of thing? Is there a nipple FAQ? ---
**Author:** ![spectrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@spectrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spectrum)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/52 "2004-10-27T16:47:27Z")
I should write Mr. Cameron a letter, tell him how he used to make many appearances in my early pubescent gay fantasies. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/53 "2004-10-27T16:53:51Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > His show on TBN is hilarious. I watched an episode where KJirk tried to refute evolutionary biology–it became clear that this poor dunce has never had a science class in his life. Eeeh, I’d love to have seen that-details? **spectrum** , I would seriously consider doing just that. HAW HAW HAW!!! To give the devil his due, (he he!), he and his wife DO run a summer camp for terminally ill children. Still doesn’t excuse being a fundy asshat. Did anyone watch the E! True Hollywood story on “Growing Pains?” You could tell that Alan Thicke, while being diplomatic, was just thinking, “This guy is a complete tool.” ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/54 "2004-10-27T16:56:06Z")
> [@Crazy Cameron](#): > > Jesus said to love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength-- so much, that your love for your parents, brothers and sisters, friends, and even your own life is like hatred compared to your love and devotion for God. Have you ever failed to put Him first in your life? Huh? What? Hate? Compared to…Love? WHAT? ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/55 "2004-10-27T17:09:18Z")
What I don’t get is why we must convert people. They’re sinners. Kirk et al. say that God is angry not just with the sin but the sinner himself. So shouldn’t we too be angry at the sinner? It may be said, Well, that’s not your place. Maybe so, but where is the motivation to convert? If it’s out of an essential lovableness or worthiness of the individual, then that essence is there despite God’s send-you-to-hell anger. So the question then is why God would send that essence to hell. Etc. etc. Twisted perspective. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/56 "2004-10-27T18:24:44Z")
I love the [ice breakers](http://www.wayofthemaster.com/cgi-bin/ccp51/cp-app.pl?pg=cat&ref=tracts) on his site, btw. Somehow cheap magic shop tricks can be employed to save souls. Remember this next time you’re on the subway and want to bring the gangleader across from you to Jesus: he _loves_ optical illusions. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/57 "2004-10-27T18:32:19Z")
I spent way more time than I should have perusing that site, and I came to two conclusions: 1. Show Me the Money. The whole point, the entire thrust of that site is, Buy My Products. I know his acting career hasn’t been that great recently, but has he actually fallen on hard times? 2. If you’re a True Christian, and you know it, clap your hands, you’re A-OK. Spend all your energies worrying about the Unsaved and the Think-They’re-Saved-But-Really-Aren’t. Really, was this the thrust of Jesus’ message? Sell things, and concern yourself with the sins of others? It’s so transparently off-the-mark. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/58 "2004-10-27T18:42:29Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > What I don’t get is why we must convert people. Do you have an outdated Atheist laying about your home? Is there an Agnostic Waffling in your kitchen? A tired old jew pondering\* What’s It All About\* on your barcalounger? Home flooded with humping Catholics and their spawn? Is your Bapist running low on SPEA-KING IN LO-WDA DRAWN OOUUUT SYL\_A\_BLLES? Then \*\*Ronco Jesus Christ Conversion Kit \*\* ™ is just what YOU need! Yes, the **Ronco Jesus Christ Conversion Kit** will pep up your Papist and bring them round to \*The Way, The Light, His Holy Love And Eternal Bliss \*in no time! It is so simple to use! If you snap your fingers, you can use the **Ronco Jesus Christ Conversion Kit**! First, set your Doubting Thomas in a comfortable chair. Attach the special metal clamps to their nipples, plug into the wall, flip the switch and watch your friend’s soul be saved as he shouts out " Oh GOD!" and is overtaken by the power of God’s Love \*\*Ronco Jesus Christ Conversion Kit \*\* has thousands of satisfied customers, _just listen:_ \*" My daughter’s boyfriend was one of them Mormons and just destine to go to hell, y’know. So, I wanted to covert him to Eternal Bliss, so when he climbed out of our pool, I just put the clamps right on him, flipped the switch and when he came too, he said he have seen _The Light_. Now, he’s worth it for my daughter to marry. Thank you Ronco!" “My Grannie was a nasty Jew. She renounced Jesus Christ as her personal savior,but Mama and I were worried about her Soul and how it was Burn In Hell when Grannie died, cause Grannie didn’t get Saved, like us. So, when Grannie was dying, we hooked her up to the **Ronco Jesus Christ Conversion Kit** and moments before she died she cried out our Lords name. She said, " \*Jesus Christ What is that thing? It hurts more than my last colon exam!” \*. It was a miracle and we owe it all to **Ronco**. \* Bring your lagging Christians up to speed. It’s safe. It uses less energy than a microwave oven so you don’t have to worry about rising electric bills. You can even convert your Pets, it’s that safe! Best yet, it is portable and comes in its own handy carrying case to take to work, on vacation or to weddings! It will even fit in the trunk of your car! Jesus Christ has never been so close to being received into the lives of those you love and all for just $19.99, plus shipping and handling! **But wait! There is More!** Not only do you get the battery charger, cables and six sets of metal clamps perfect for Parties and Bar Mitvahs! you will also receive if you order now a set of four tickets to the Truck Pull this weekend _and_ front row seats to any show in Branson, Missouri! _Plus_ a lovely Dale Ernhardt #3 flag to wave proudly from your car, if you own one. Don’t delay! Every minute you waste is another minute\* **Your Friends, Your Family, Your Coworkers** \* and \*\*\*Your Loved Ones \ ***are closer to the** Eternal Fires of Hell. \*\* The \*\*Ronco Jesus Christ Converter Kit \*\* is not sold in stores. Order Yours Today, start saving souls Tonight! Our operator is standing by! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/59 "2004-10-27T19:29:56Z")
**Shirley** thanks for the best laugh I’ve had in a while. Brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388/60 "2004-10-27T19:40:38Z")
I dunno, I kind of liked that site. And by “that site” I mean the picture on the top of the mustachioed man hugging the orangutan. And by “kind of liked” I mean laughed my ass off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-cameron-wants-to-know-if-youre-a-christian/271388.md?page=4)