# Kirk was the best Star Trek Captain in my rankings - Please give your rankings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 17, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933 "2003-03-17T04:52:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/41 "2003-03-18T06:25:21Z")
Yeah, well, T’Pol is the First Officer. And Porthos is, uh, uh, too cute. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/42 "2003-03-18T06:26:40Z")
Superficialities: I’m willing to admit that Chakotay is better looking than Trip. But Riker’s better looking than Chakotay. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/43 "2003-03-18T06:32:43Z")
Thread idea! Hottest Hunks and Babes of the Trek Universe! That’s not too pathetically geeky is it? ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/44 "2003-03-18T06:39:19Z")
Yes! You should have the honor of starting that one. In the meantime, rate the Trek Youngsters according to irritation level: Jake Sisko–pretty good youngster and not too irritating. Molly O’Brien: Artistic cute kid and only mildly irritating once in a blue moon. Naomi Wildman: Very irritating. Wesley Crusher: The most irritating. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/45 "2003-03-18T06:49:44Z")
You forgot Kirayoshi O’Brien. And Nog. 1. (Most) Jake Sisko: I love his dad but absolutely hate him. He’s worse than Wesley in my opinion. At least Crusher left. 2. Naomi Wildman: I hate most kids and she’s a good example of why that is. 3. Wesley Crusher: He never bugged me as my topic a few weeks ago atests to. I still don’t like him though. 4. Molly O’Brien: I don’t remember much about her but I like her daddy and Keiko’s hot. So there. 5. Kirayoshi O’Brien: Same as Molly. 6. Nog: Nog rocked. He wasn’t just a charicature of a Ferengi. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/46 "2003-03-18T06:58:15Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=170590](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=170590) ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/47 "2003-03-18T12:27:48Z")
I’ll second Nog’s rockitude. I liked him. Jake Sisko wasn’t annoying. I’ve gotta wonder what he’s going to do after his dad’s “death.” The O’Brien kids were just kinda there for filler and never did anything, so I can’t say much about them. Wesley was annoying. Glad to see them write him out of TNG. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/48 "2003-03-18T13:19:24Z")
Don’t forget Worf’s annoying child. “Saddle up, Father!” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/49 "2003-03-18T13:28:02Z")
Alexander AKA the Klingon Wesley ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/50 "2003-03-18T14:09:54Z")
Wow, you said it, **NCB** - Alexander and Wesley are the only kiddies that ever bugged me. Well, much; I mean, all kiddies bug me, but I could mostly ignore the others. Um, first officers: 1. Spock: Balanced, sensible, and all that other good stuff. 2. Riker: Tough, smart - the guy’s a man of action… I think. It’s been a few years since I’ve seen TNG, so I kinda forget. but I seem to remember liking the dude. 3. Jeez, I dunno. Kira? I guess she was okay. 4. T’Pol: Nuttiest Vulcan ever, but she’s way better than… 5. Chakotay: Mr. Touchy-Feely, dumber than a bag of hammers, and really not suited to a high ranking position. The guy should be… I dunno… A songwriter, or something. In response to **blowero** : Well, yeah, Picard was a dirty old man, too, but I always thought he was a little less dirty than Kirk. It doesn’t matter anyway, since the whole issue didn’t affect my rankings. So if Picard was the most libidinous old trech ever, more power to him. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/51 "2003-03-18T14:19:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > **--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > …Add a heated Bed Buddy and a blankie to the list of therapies above, and Jonny should curl up and sleep through the rest of the mission…** Capt. Archer’s shopping list: Chocolate Hot water bottle Chocolate Chick flick (“Hope Floats”? “Titanic”?) Ice cream Sweat pants Fleece blanket Herbal Tea Midol Ice cream Chocolate ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/52 "2003-03-18T14:45:56Z")
Anyone else have the impression that Riker usually took the testosterone poisioned route of action and was usually wrong? Chakotay had lots of potential, but the writers never developed the character. Hating the Federation but having the hots for/respecting Janeway and trying to get his own people home…lots of conflict and stories, equal to when Wolf wrote for Andromeda but never used. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/53 "2003-03-18T17:10:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t forget Worf’s annoying child. “Saddle up, Father!” I guess I did. Very annoying. He’s right down there with Wesley on the annoy-o-meter. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/54 "2003-03-18T20:08:56Z")
Captains: 1 Kirk–He’s the man! 2(very close) Sisko-- He’s the man, except he’s yelled at less gods. (but still yelled at gods, so he’s got that going for him) 3 Picard-- He’s ultra cool, i’d serve under any of these three in a heartbeat 4 Archer-- despite waxing poetic about “one day, there will be some sort of rules for species contact” every five minutes, he still has some command qualities, despite coming off as an inexperienced weirdo at times 5 Janeway-- bleh. too many personality changes, too quick to dismiss the Doctor as a program, to quick to go in guns blazing one week while doing diplomacy the next, and the writers tried to make her an expert in everything but couldn’t pull it off without making it sound like she suddenly had new skills (this week, Janeway uses her nuclear physics knowledge to defeat aliens made out of Uranium! Next week, Janeway invents a room temperature superconductor and uses it to defeat a Shaolin Master in one on one combat) 6 Pike-- for some reason i didn’t really care for the guy. 7 Jellico-- Jerk! too bad he wasn’t on the Cairo when it got toasted on DS9, that would have made better continuity, and showed the war was actually killing off characters we knew. (good actor played him, though) 8 Harry Kim in the future-- How’s that waste of protoplasm get to be a captain? And he still sucks! Lame Lame Lame. Proof that the Klingon system of killing your Captain should be adopted by the Feds. first Officers 1–Spock! Highly Logical! 2–Data! Like Spock Squared, but no cool mind meld abilities 3–Chakotay! Would have made a better captain than Janeway, plus had cool dream powers 4–Kira She could kick anybodies butt! 5-- Riker they made him too boring! Riker should have had ninja powers or something 6–T’Pol Ice queen fake lips. meh Kids (less to most annoying) 1 Nog–less annoying of them all, became a cool character 2 Jake–despite becoming annoying reporter boy and having a flair for ugly pink jumpsuits with little pink vests, would actually do stuff from time to time. 3 Wesley–Annoying, sure, but Wil Wheaton is cool 4 The O’Brien kids–never did enough to be annoying, and Yoshi did bat’leth exercises after being babysat by worf 5 Those borg kid Brats–kill 'em all! 6 Naomi Wildman–proof that abortion should be legal in the 30th trimester. One of the reasons voyager should be burned at the stake. If i had a phaser… Ships 1 Enterprise 1701–THE ship! 2 Defiant! Coolest ship ever 3 Enterprise D beautiful and powerful 4 Enterprise E also cool looking and kicks butt 5 Akira class ships Just look awesome, and one is named after the Thunderchild (from War of the Worlds) 6 Enterprise NX-01 7 Excelsior class ships 8 Negk’Var (klingon flagship) 9 Klingon Bird of Prey 10 Dominion Gigantic Ship 11 Voyager 12 Borg ships of various shapes 13 Reliant Random crew people not listed before 0 Garak–The coolest Character EVER!!! No one tops Garak! Garak is the coolest thing since molecules stopped moving! 1 McCoy–you need him for the tri-fecta, and is just a simple country doctor (not a moon shuttle conductor, bricklayer, or anyof that other stuff) 2 the Doctor-- another cool Doctor, despite the lame “Holographics rights” episodes written by people who know nothing about computers. Interesting, the best Voyager character, and he kept me watching when all hope was lost. 3 Julian Bashir – another doctor! Cool, and you cant have him without… 4 Miles O’Brien! from Transporter Cheif to Ops Cheif to Acadamy Instructor, and a member of one of the few nuclear families on the show 5 Hoshi-- she can translate for me anytime! 6 All the Ferengi! Quark the cool criminal, Rom the lovible doofus with the heart of latinum and engineer skills, Nog the kid who became the officer, Leeta the girl who saw past the looks, Ishka the supermom, Grand Nagus Zek the ultimate businessman, Liquidator Brunt the baddie you love to hate, Leck the knife throwing psycho, and Gaila, the idiot cousin. 7 Scotty-- THE engineer. 8 Jadzia Dax-- Hot chick, 400 years old, knows Klingon fighting skills, friends of the legendary three Klingon captains 9 Evil Spock–Goatees are cool! 10 the Intendant! rrarroowwrr!!! Characters who need to die horrible deaths by flesh eating bacteria and being force feed toenail clippings 1 Naomi Wildman! Ugh, i hate her! Die Die Die!! 2. Her stupid daughter in the future–like anyone would have sex with Naomi ever! 3 Harry Kim Ugh! You’re annoying!! Kill it before it spawns! beat him with his clarinet! 4 Kai Winn—Nurse Rachet needs a wrench to the skull! Where’s an Indian guy to smother her then break out the window? Cakotay, get over here! 5 Founder Leader-- your’re just as annoying, and we didn’t get the satisfaction of you being killed! my bloodlust will never be saded! (or goo-lust, since she’s got no blood) 6 Neelix (notice the wide amount of Voyager characters?) I’ll tug your whiskers…right off! then ram them down your annoying throat! put that in your pot and cook it! 7 borg kids–the worst idea ever, executed even more poorly, then never forgotten. having the TV fling poop at me like a monkey at the zoo would have been better watching. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/55 "2003-03-18T21:05:08Z")
1. Sisco 2. Picard 3. Kirk 4. Riker (for a few episodes- “Mr. Worf---- FIRE!”) 5. Sulu (“then **fly** her apart!”) 6. Data (one episode) 7. Janeway 8. Holographic Command version of the Doctor 9. The thousands of people who managed to steal an Enterprise during all of the series. 10. Archer ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/56 "2003-03-19T03:33:51Z")
> [@](#): > > 1 Naomi Wildman! Ugh, i hate her! Die Die Die!! AHHHH!!! :eek: I had managed to repress all memories of her until **Tars Tarkas** mentioned her. She’s the only kid on any Trek series that I actually hated. Wesley and Alexander were annoying, but they couldn’t hold a candle to the sickeningly sweet Naomi. Every time she appeared on _Voyager,_ I had to go brush my teeth to avoid getting cavities. She and her mom needed to die in a battle with the Borg or something. As for the Borg kids, I missed the episodes that featured them. It sounds like I should consider myself lucky. ---
**Author:** ![lurker\_anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@lurker\_anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurker_anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/57 "2003-03-19T03:56:40Z")
i cant believe that i scrolled all the way down to say this, but…PICARD. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/58 "2003-03-19T05:26:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurker anonymous \* > \*\*i cant believe that i scrolled all the way down to say this, but…PICARD. \*\* * * * Umm…Picard what? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/59 "2003-03-19T05:29:49Z")
…isn’t as cool as Sisko. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933/60 "2003-03-19T05:31:22Z")
Isn’t as _bald_ as Sisko. Hmph! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kirk-was-the-best-star-trek-captain-in-my-rankings-please-give-your-rankings/161933.md?page=4)