# Kiss me; no, whip me; I'm so confused; help me Jebus **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 13, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kiss-me-no-whip-me-im-so-confused-help-me-jebus/274582 "2004-11-13T18:23:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kiss-me-no-whip-me-im-so-confused-help-me-jebus/274582/21 "2004-11-16T01:43:00Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > I don’t know if they still do this or not, but back then, one of the rules was that a boy had to wait ten minutes before sitting in a chair recently vacated by a girl. > > Because the warmth left behind by the girl’s having sat there might inflame his young desires. Asbestos burqa 'd fix that. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kiss-me-no-whip-me-im-so-confused-help-me-jebus/274582/22 "2004-11-16T01:48:35Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > I don’t know if they still do this or not, but back then, one of the rules was that a boy had to wait ten minutes before sitting in a chair recently vacated by a girl. > > Because the warmth left behind by the girl’s having sat there might inflame his young desires. :rolleyes: You know what I love about rules like that? Playing “Spot the Author’s Sexual Hang-Up.” For this one, I got fifty that says it was someone who gets off on sniffing chair seats. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kiss-me-no-whip-me-im-so-confused-help-me-jebus/274582/23 "2004-11-16T02:04:22Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > My daughter’s school had a kid’s book on their banned list because of all the “hidden” sexual messages about pedophiles and gay people. > > OH, and the fact that they didn’t want her using her left hand (she’s naturally left handed) because… I about took the principle’s head off when I found out about that one. She was in public school about three days after that. Oh come on, you can’t just leave us hanging like that! What book was it, and what were the messages? And what was the reason she couldn’t use her left hand? ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kiss-me-no-whip-me-im-so-confused-help-me-jebus/274582/24 "2004-11-16T03:24:13Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > Am I the only one thinking of the monk punishing his sinful flesh in _The Name of the Rose_?? Actually, I thought of Silas in **The DaVinci Code**. He was using [this thing](http://www.odan.org/images/discipline_2004.jpg). I’ve never understood self-flagellants. **Guin** , you know the left hand is the sinister one. Bad, bad left hand! ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kiss-me-no-whip-me-im-so-confused-help-me-jebus/274582/25 "2004-11-16T03:45:17Z")
Which is why my mother - a Presbyterian educated by nuns - is ambidextrous to this day! ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kiss-me-no-whip-me-im-so-confused-help-me-jebus/274582/26 "2004-11-16T10:23:17Z")
Jeez, and I thought the girls were kissing _each other_. Thanks for getting me all excited over nothing. **DtC:** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kiss-me-no-whip-me-im-so-confused-help-me-jebus/274582/27 "2004-11-16T16:19:07Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Not all christians are like this, they just happen to be more verbal and visible with their weirdness than those of us who are normal are with our, uhhh normalness. If I learned anything in journalism school (obviously, “how to write in English” wasn’t one of them) it was that there is nothing more deadeningly dull than normality and dull doesn’t sell newspapers. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kiss-me-no-whip-me-im-so-confused-help-me-jebus/274582/28 "2004-11-16T16:46:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Then the principal took off his belt, gave it to Brost, and instructed the teacher to “discipline me like you would discipline your own son,” he recalled. I wonder if Mr. Brost was also instructed to inform the principle that he was a bad little kitty, too. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kiss-me-no-whip-me-im-so-confused-help-me-jebus/274582/29 "2004-11-16T19:02:36Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Come on **Chefguy** tell 'em the WHOLE story, you know, about those _Wassillites_. 😃 Nah, Wasilla must be…_experienced._ It and its inhabitants defy description, although our illustrious idiot-in-residence in the senate characterized them all as “valley trash” a few months ago. > [@](#): > > Anchorage Baptist Temple is even weirder. My sister and cousin both spent a semester or two there before our parents wisely pulled them out of there. I don’t know if they still do this or not, but back then, one of the rules was that a boy had to wait ten minutes before sitting in a chair recently vacated by a girl. Because the warmth left behind by the girl’s having sat there might inflame his young desires. :rolleyes: Ah yes…the Rev. Jerry Pervo…er Prevo. Words cannot express the contempt I have for this guy. He’s forged a Baptist empire out of the wilderness, complete with 22 houses that are tax exempt. I keep hoping someone will catch him with his dick stuck in a chicken. [/QUOTE] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kiss-me-no-whip-me-im-so-confused-help-me-jebus/274582.md?page=1)