# Kissed my friend's wife. Now what? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2009, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369 "2009-09-24T14:19:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/21 "2009-09-24T16:58:19Z")
**Transistor Rhythm**. Dude. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT about it. Trust me. Been in a similar situation, it didn’t end up well when I thought that the right thing to do was to bring it up. It wasn’t weird before, then it became weird in my effort to make sure it wasn’t weird. Those are my two pennies about it. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Frazzled](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frazzled/32/3368_2.png) [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/22 "2009-09-24T17:46:59Z")
I started a thread about this not too long ago to find out how normal it is to kiss friends of the opposite sex. It turns out that a few of us are ok with it while many others find the idea to be a little gross. I kiss many of my opposite sex friends goodbye, and occasionally hello if we haven’t seen each other in a long time. To us, it’s perfectly normal - it’s our way of showing our close friends that they are special. The kiss is affectionate, but not sexual. The fact that she acts like it’s normal tells me that she simply meant to show you how happy she was to see you, but nothing more should be implied. You should take it as a compliment and nothing more. Like others said - don’t make a big deal out of it because it wasn’t a big deal. If you do you will only make things awkward between you. ---
**Author:** ![Transistor\_Rhythm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@Transistor\_Rhythm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Transistor_Rhythm)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/23 "2009-09-24T17:56:06Z")
Update: Right when I decided to just keep mum about the whole thing, she e-mails me and says that she’s “felt the same way about me” for the past year, but that we “shouldn’t jeopardize anything” and so let’s just pretend that it never happened. A little 🆒, but more :smack: ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/24 "2009-09-24T17:57:42Z")
**Dinsdale** nailed it, then. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/25 "2009-09-24T18:33:46Z")
> [@Transistor\_Rhythm](#): > > Update: Right when I decided to just keep mum about the whole thing, she e-mails me and says that she’s “felt the same way about me” for the past year, but that we “shouldn’t jeopardize anything” and so let’s just pretend that it never happened. I just sprang a little bit of vicarious wood. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/26 "2009-09-24T18:38:26Z")
> [@Transistor\_Rhythm](#): > > Update: Right when I decided to just keep mum about the whole thing, she e-mails me and says that she’s “felt the same way about me” for the past year, but that we “shouldn’t jeopardize anything” and so let’s just pretend that it never happened. > > A little 🆒, but more :smack: If you value your friend, you’d take her advice. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/27 "2009-09-24T18:55:35Z")
> [@Transistor\_Rhythm](#): > > Update: Right when I decided to just keep mum about the whole thing, she e-mails me and says that she’s “felt the same way about me” for the past year, but that we “shouldn’t jeopardize anything” and so let’s just pretend that it never happened. Especially since some people have no better sense than to _write emails_ about stuff that never even happened! ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/28 "2009-09-24T18:58:35Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I just sprang a little bit of vicarious wood. +1 ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/29 "2009-09-24T19:00:58Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > If you value your friend, you’d take her advice. Sage wisdom indeed. On the other hand: Friends, Schmends. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/30 "2009-09-24T19:12:20Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > Sage wisdom indeed. > > On the other hand: Friends, Schmends. vicariously, +1 face it, the cat will not go back in the bag. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/31 "2009-09-24T19:19:39Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > If you value your friend, you’d take her advice. And delete the e-mail! Like right now! ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/32 "2009-09-24T19:22:13Z")
Have you seen her husband since the kiss? If she thought something weird had happened, she would’ve told her husband. I’m assuming if her husband thought you were poaching, he would have had it out with you by now, correct? So, if it wasn’t important enough to bring up to the husband and/or wasn’t important enough to take up with you, it’s not an issue in general and you should just let it go. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/33 "2009-09-24T19:35:54Z")
> [@simster](#): > > vicariously, +1 > > face it, the cat will not go back in the bag. For me, the telling thing in the OP was how “overjoyed” he was at seeing her. “Overjoyed”? “Happy” is one thing, but I have to honestly say that I have never felt “overjoyed” at seeing a friend’s wife (or a female friend of my wife’s, for that matter) unless she was so incredibly attractive that, even knowing that nothing would ever happen between us, just having her around brought my testosterone up to a pleasantly full boil. I also have never “accidentally” kissed any woman on the mouth. Ever. Every woman I’ve ever kissed on the mouth (regardless of whether it was reciprocated or not), I kissed on the mouth because I wanted to kiss her on the mouth. “Oops” indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/34 "2009-09-24T19:42:33Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Fuck her! Fuck her brains out! You know you want to! He pretty much has to. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/35 "2009-09-24T19:44:06Z")
> [@Transistor\_Rhythm](#): > > Update: Right when I decided to just keep mum about the whole thing, she e-mails me and says that she’s “felt the same way about me” for the past year, but that we “shouldn’t jeopardize anything” and so let’s just pretend that it never happened. > > A little 🆒, but more :smack: Forward the email to her husband _after_ you bang her. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/36 "2009-09-24T19:45:45Z")
The next step is tell. You just did that. Don’t bring it up in the future. This incident needs to be buried. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/37 "2009-09-24T19:52:50Z")
I’d like to know where these women friends are who kiss full on like OP describes. It has never happened to me. A peck on the cheek or maybe a peck on the lips, not not this. “I wouldn’t worry about it unless you find yourself sporting wood whenever you think about the kiss” If “the kiss” happened to me, I don’t think I would be able to avoid sprouting one. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/38 "2009-09-24T19:55:58Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > And delete the e-mail! Like right now! Delete the e-mail and burn the computer. You really only have two choices. 1) you chalk it up as one of those flukes in the time-space continuum and go on about your business, or 2) you pursue it. If you go with option 2, there are several outcomes, and unless you’re living in a Noel Coward drawing-room comedy, none of them are pretty. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/39 "2009-09-24T20:10:53Z")
You really need to go kiss your friend, just to balance things out. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/40 "2009-09-24T20:15:00Z")
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