# Kissed my friend's wife. Now what? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2009, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369 "2009-09-24T14:19:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/41 "2009-09-24T20:17:44Z")
> [@gurujulp](#): > > +1 Why in gods name did you pick the smallest (shortest) integer possible? least go with an 11 or a 17. ---
**Author:** ![Keweenaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Keweenaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keweenaw)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/42 "2009-09-24T20:17:57Z")
This thread really needs some pictures in order to best advise the op. Or at least a detailed description. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/43 "2009-09-24T20:21:53Z")
You should also make sure the two of you are not alone again in the future. This could end in a firey ball of shame and being shot by a husband in a murderous rage. Or, you know, something less violent could happen too. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/44 "2009-09-24T20:24:18Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > You should also make sure the two of you are not alone again in the future. This could end in a firey ball of shame and being shot by a husband in a murderous rage. Or, you know, something less violent could happen too. Very good advice. Even more so if you (and/or her) have been drinking. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/45 "2009-09-24T21:50:17Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Was she wearing pyjama pants? Good lord I remember those threads…that’s an old reference to the guy who wrote about meeting the cute pyjama-pants wearing girl in school and moving to soft pr0n about it, right? Didn’t take too long to realize the poster was making the story up, but it dragged a few of us along for a while… ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/46 "2009-09-24T21:51:07Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > You should also make sure the two of you are not alone again in the future. This could end in a firey ball of shame and being shot by a husband in a murderous rage. Or, you know, something less violent could happen too. Like rugburns. Or Cameron Diaz hair. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/47 "2009-09-24T21:51:50Z")
> [@Transistor\_Rhythm](#): > > Update: Right when I decided to just keep mum about the whole thing, she e-mails me and says that she’s “felt the same way about me” for the past year, but that we “shouldn’t jeopardize anything” and so let’s just pretend that it never happened. > > A little 🆒, but more :smack: I’d call it :dubious: If she _really_ wanted to pretend it never happened, then she would have just done that. Even if she was sure you were coming on to her, and afraid you’d try it again, and felt she had to politely nip things in the bud, then she would have said, “I’m touched that you feel that way, but…”, not “I’m hot for you, too.” So either: a) she’s an idiot, and was trying to let you down easy in an ass-backwards way b) she likes to be pursued (so she can think of herself as both innocent and irresistable: “I told him we musn’t, but… sigh!”), and plans to eventually give in c) same as b), but has no intention of ever giving in My money’s on c), but even if it’s b), I’d think twice before screwing that drama llama. ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/48 "2009-09-24T21:59:24Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I’d think twice before screwing that drama llama. There’s a signature quote if I ever heard one… Brought a tear to my eye, it did! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/49 "2009-09-24T22:03:47Z")
> [@SylverOne](#): > > There’s a signature quote if I ever heard one… Brought a tear to my eye, it did! 😃 Far better than “breaking that dromedary cherry”. Though both are entitled to at least one hump, no? ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/50 "2009-09-24T22:13:06Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > SNIP- > My money’s on c), but even if it’s b), I’d think twice before screwing that drama llama. > [@SylverOne](#): > > There’s a signature quote if I ever heard one… Brought a tear to my eye, it did! 😃 That was awesome! I did indeed mist over a bit! ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/51 "2009-09-24T22:29:51Z")
> [@Transistor\_Rhythm](#): > > Update: Right when I decided to just keep mum about the whole thing, she e-mails me and says that she’s “felt the same way about me” for the past year, but that we “shouldn’t jeopardize anything” and so let’s just pretend that it never happened. > > A little 🆒, but more :smack: Not good… > [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > For me, the telling thing in the OP was how “overjoyed” he was at seeing her. > > “Overjoyed”? “Happy” is one thing, but I have to honestly say that I have never felt “overjoyed” at seeing a friend’s wife (or a female friend of my wife’s, for that matter) unless she was so incredibly attractive that, even knowing that nothing would ever happen between us, just having her around brought my testosterone up to a pleasantly full boil. Agreed. There’s some heavy subliminal or subconscious stuff going on here. > [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > I also have never “accidentally” kissed any woman on the mouth. Ever. Every woman I’ve ever kissed on the mouth (regardless of whether it was reciprocated or not), I kissed on the mouth because I wanted to kiss her on the mouth. > > “Oops” indeed. Yeaahhhh. Tell me about that “overjoyed” thing. Did she just make you a lot of money or rescue your grandmother or…? > [@pbbth](#): > > You should also make sure the two of you are not alone again in the future. This could end in a firey ball of shame and being shot by a husband in a murderous rage. Or, you know, something less violent could happen too. +1 > [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I’d call it :dubious: > > If she _really_ wanted to pretend it never happened, then she would have just done that. Even if she was sure you were coming on to her, and afraid you’d try it again, and felt she had to politely nip things in the bud, then she would have said, “I’m touched that you feel that way, but…”, not “I’m hot for you, too.” > > So either: > > a) she’s an idiot, and was trying to let you down easy in an ass-backwards way > b) she likes to be pursued (so she can think of herself as both innocent and irresistable: “I told him we musn’t, but… sigh!”), and plans to eventually give in > c) same as b), but has no intention of ever giving in > > My money’s on c), but even if it’s b), I’d think twice before screwing that drama llama. Yeah OP, I’m at a loss to say how YOU should act now, whether you should respond or how. What’s the quote, something about women seducing men by resisting their advances and then blocking their retreat? The “I’m hot for you” subtext could be a request to be persuaded, fawned over. How is their relationship? Happy, fulfilling…? How’s yours? ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/52 "2009-09-24T22:39:08Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Especially since some people have no better sense than to _write emails_ about stuff that never even happened! Indeed, yeesh. Kids these days. > [@](#): > > Lomasney created a famous saying on the importance of discretion: "“Never write if you can speak; never speak if you can nod; never nod if you can wink.” Eliot Spitzer recently added the warning, “never put it in e-mail.” ---
**Author:** ![kenner116](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@kenner116](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenner116)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/53 "2009-09-24T22:41:28Z")
Would you be OK with a threesome? Talk to your friend about it and you may get lucky. Just bring up the subject in a casual and non-awkward way. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/54 "2009-09-24T23:22:48Z")
> [@kenner116](#): > > Would you be OK with a threesome? Talk to your friend about it and you may get lucky. **Just bring up the subject in a casual and non-awkward way.** “Hey, Fred! Can I borrow your lawnmower? I’ll put gas in it. Let’s both go inside and fuck your wife.” ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/55 "2009-09-24T23:25:11Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > “Hey, Fred! Can I borrow your lawnmower? I’ll put gas in it. Let’s both go inside and fuck your wife.” Oh God, I can’t _breathe_! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/56 "2009-09-24T23:31:33Z")
I’ve had a very good friendship with a woman for the last forty something years; every time we meet, we kiss on the lips. Same when we depart. Sometimes she throws a little tongue my way and sometimes she doesn’t. When she does, it means nothing or if it does, I’ve been a stupid person for the last forty years. In spite of our friendship, she isn’t above teasing me from time to time. Now that Marcie and I are divorcing, I might have to visit her and discuss the situation. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/57 "2009-09-25T00:51:50Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I’ve had a very good friendship with a woman for the last forty something years; every time we meet, we kiss on the lips. Same when we depart. Sometimes she throws a little tongue my way and sometimes she doesn’t. When she does, it means nothing or if it does, I’ve been a stupid person for the last forty years. In spite of our friendship, she isn’t above teasing me from time to time. Now that Marcie and I are divorcing, I might have to visit her and discuss the situation. Louis–I think this may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/58 "2009-09-25T02:54:43Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > “Hey, Fred! Can I borrow your lawnmower? I’ll put gas in it. Let’s both go inside and fuck your wife.” You really don’t want to get that backwards… ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/59 "2009-09-25T10:18:17Z")
[counterintelligence mode] What if the husband sent you that email using his wife’s account? [/cm] ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/60 "2009-09-25T10:51:19Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > [counterintelligence mode] What if the husband sent you that email using his wife’s account? [/cm] Even if she didn’t, there’s no guarantee that the husband couldn’t read her “Sent Items” or see any reply that the OP sends. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369.md?page=4)