# Kissed my friend's wife. Now what? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2009, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369 "2009-09-24T14:19:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/61 "2009-09-25T13:22:39Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > “Hey, Fred! Can I borrow your lawnmower? I’ll put gas in it. Let’s both go inside and fuck your wife.” Without exaggeration, that is the funniest thing I’ve read on this board. Of course, I’m hungover. For some reason, I find things incredibly hysterical when I’m hungover. Maybe that’s it. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/62 "2009-09-25T13:48:35Z")
Well, if after the “kissing incident” there comes a later “fucking incident” (and not a friendly fuck or a “European” fuck, but a full-on fuckeroo) at least you will have done things in the right order. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/63 "2009-09-25T14:34:48Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > “Hey, Fred! Can I borrow your lawnmower? I’ll put gas in it. Let’s both go inside and fuck your wife.” Win!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![xanthous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/53a042/32.png) [@xanthous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xanthous)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/64 "2009-09-25T15:32:47Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Good lord I remember those threads…that’s an old reference to the guy who wrote about meeting the cute pyjama-pants wearing girl in school and moving to soft pr0n about it, right? Didn’t take too long to realize the poster was making the story up, but it dragged a few of us along for a while… Are you talking about **Skewbald**? I loved that story- was it proven to be a fake? I’d like to hope that maybe it wasn’t… ---
**Author:** ![Transistor\_Rhythm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@Transistor\_Rhythm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Transistor_Rhythm)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/65 "2009-09-25T16:13:46Z")
Nothing salacious here. I basically gave her a “what incident?”-type response and that’s it. Nothing, nada, dropping the whole thing, taking a cold shower, it never happened, give me the _Men in Black_ mind-wipe. “It was all a dream/I used to read word up magazine…” ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/66 "2009-09-25T16:23:10Z")
…until the next time you kiss her (or she kisses you). ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/67 "2009-09-25T16:36:20Z")
Yikes. After that email, I think I’m avoiding her (maybe the both of them) for about two weeks, just to get a little time and space between the incident. Good luck in your quest not to screw your friend’s wife. ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/68 "2009-09-25T19:38:28Z")
> [@simster](#): > > You really don’t want to get that backwards… Maybe “putting gas” in his friend’s gf/wife is synonymous with creampies, or a really terrible and dangerous paraphilia. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/69 "2009-09-25T20:33:33Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > “Hey, Fred! Can I borrow your lawnmower? I’ll put gas in it. Let’s both go inside and fuck your wife.” oh god. Now my coworkers are wondering why I laughed out loud. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/70 "2009-09-25T20:38:20Z")
He kissed a wife and he likes it… ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/71 "2009-09-25T22:27:34Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > [counterintelligence mode] What if the husband sent you that email using his wife’s account? [/cm] Or just Murphy mode…many accounts can auto-logon (such as Gmail). I’ll open a browser, start checking email, and realize, “Doh, logged in as Mrs Gargoyle” and have to switch-user over to my account. No matter how innocent or chaste your reply might seem, don’t write a damn thing in email! ---
**Author:** ![TurboNuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@TurboNuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TurboNuke)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/72 "2009-09-26T08:48:40Z")
Not saying this is right, its just the way I am… I kiss my brothers when I see them. But if I kiss a woman its because were fucking. So its always awkward for me when I meet my friends wives and they want to kiss hello. The proper greeting for men is a handshake and for women its a hug. It’s usually like this: meet friends wife, I go for the hug, omg she’s coming in for the kiss, turn awkwardly away at the less second so shes gets my cheek. ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/73 "2009-09-26T14:09:19Z")
To the op: You might get your ass kicked for kissing your friend’s wife. Actually, you probaly should. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/74 "2009-09-26T15:02:04Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Was she wearing pyjama pants? I see what you did there. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2009, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/75 "2009-09-28T05:05:36Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > Yikes. After that email, I think I’m avoiding her (maybe the both of them) for about two weeks, just to get a little time and space between the incident. Good luck in your quest not to screw your friend’s wife. Who says he’s on a quest not to screw his friend’s wife? I’m definitely not getting a “whatever happens, the last thing I want to do is sleep with her, let’s avoid that at all costs!” vibe. You need to keep your distance, literally. Maybe, maybe after some time you can socialize with her again, but don’t be alone with her. Have other plans for a few weeks. Above all, do not get into discussions about marital problems with her. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2009, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/76 "2009-09-28T08:46:54Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > It might bring you some peace of mind to say “You know the other day? That was weird, huh? That happened without thinking. Sorry for being so weird, don’t think anything of it.” That is sound advice, right there. I speak from experience: I have a close friend and co-worker who has a really hot wife. They used to own a small bar as a way to make some extra money on the side. It was tucked out of the way in a downstairs suite with no sign outside, virtually ensuring that the only people who went there were people who knew about it firsthand. Anyway, I used to get drunk there and make an ass out of myself by hitting on my friend’s then-girlfriend-now-wife (I didn’t know her so well then), saying things like: “You guys are going to get married?” “Yeah, next month” “That’s too bad” “Too bad?” “Well, too bad for ME” I also would tell her how cute she was and that I wanted her number (which she gave me without hesitation) and all that ridiculous shit. She would always smile at me and look shy when I said it. When I came to my senses the next day, I was terrified that she told my friend. He never mentioned it, though, so I guess she didn’t (or she did and he didn’t care). Anyway, we three became closer and closer friends and I felt like a complete jackass over it. One night I pulled her aside when everyone else was occupied and apologized for saying so many stupid, inappropriate things and said I hoped she’d forgive me. She said no problem and that was that. Just say, “Eh, that was kinda weird the other night. Sorry. Let’s just forget it” and move on. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2009, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/77 "2009-09-28T14:10:42Z")
> [@xanthous](#): > > Are you talking about **Skewbald**? I loved that story- was it proven to be a fake? I’d like to hope that maybe it wasn’t… You know - I want to say it was proven to be untrue, but as I think about it, all I can recall is that the OP was challenged about its veracity and kinda faded away…not the typical response for someone who was supposedly young and going into a lot of detail, so I think I just assumed that they just threw in the towel…but yeah, it was a decent ongoing saga there for a while… ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2009, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/78 "2009-09-28T15:59:13Z")
I used to kiss her on the lips, but it’s all over now. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/79 "2009-09-28T17:16:18Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > T\She would always smile at me and look shy when I said it. \ Shy or uncomfortable? I would be uncomfortable as hell with antics like yours. What’s with all this full-on lip kissing greetings? Have you people not heard of cold sores, colds, and flus? Blecch. I don’t even want to shake hands with people any longer, much less touch their mucosal membranes with mine. ---
**Author:** ![Algorithm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/algorithm/32/12204_2.png) [@Algorithm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algorithm)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369/80 "2009-09-28T18:15:10Z")
OP has already decided what he’s going to do. Now he just has to make himself feel better about losing a friend over it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissed-my-friends-wife-now-what/511369.md?page=5)