# Kissing the Koala **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 22, 2014, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212 "2014-08-22T16:21:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2014, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/1 "2014-08-22T16:21:19Z")
For today’s heart-warming story, I give you [Sir Chompsalot](http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/sir-chompsalot-the-koala-survives-thanks-to-mouthtomouth-rescucitation-20140822-10728v.html), a koala that was hit by a car and revived by a quick-thinking Aussie wildlife official who gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Would you give the “kiss of life” to a koala? I have to admit he’s cuter than some of my past girlfriends. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2014, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/2 "2014-08-22T16:25:00Z")
Well, if you like eucalyptus, how bad could it be? Speaking of bad – was this the first time that the person shooting that video has ever held a camera? ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/3 "2014-08-22T16:31:58Z")
Glad the koala survived and, yes, I’d do mouth-to-mouth on a koala, but I’m with **Finagle**. Obviously this was the first time the guy with the camera had ever filmed anything. Most of that video is the helmet of the guy next to the wildlife worker! I wanted to see the cute koala, dammit! ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/4 "2014-08-22T16:50:25Z")
Personally, I don’t believe in rescuing distressed wild animals. Even less so, picking and choosing the “cute” ones and throwing the rest under the bus. If you want to “help” nature, the only way to do it is to let natural law proceed to favor the fittest. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2014, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/5 "2014-08-22T18:17:27Z")
So the koala was healthy enough to climb a tree, so they had to knock it loose, and the fall made it stop breathing? That sounds like a Keystone Cops rescue. And no, I wouldn’t even want to touch a koala. They smell like eucalyptus that’s been through a digestive tract, and they’ve huge claws. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/6 "2014-08-22T18:40:48Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > If you want to “help” nature, the only way to do it is to let natural law proceed to favor the fittest. How is getting hit by a car a part of natural law? ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/7 "2014-08-22T18:50:59Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > How is getting hit by a car a part of natural law? Evolution. We’re teaching koalas and squirrels to instinctively look left and right before crossing roads. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2014, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/8 "2014-08-22T19:15:57Z")
[Pacha]“For the last time, it was not a kiss!”[/Pacha] ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2014, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/9 "2014-08-22T20:55:23Z")
Oh, but kiss one male koala… ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2014, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/10 "2014-08-22T22:43:47Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > How is getting hit by a car a part of natural law? The hazards of human environmental engineering are pretty much here to stay. What man has created in the environment is, from the standpoint of species that wish to survive, is a part of the new nature that they have to learn to deal with. Any species that cannot learn to share the earth with humans is going to fail, and they’d better let Darwinian selection weed out those that can’t survive a world of highways and speeding vehicles. There is a species of frogs that has, for millennia, associated the sound of thunder with impending rain, and when they hear it, they go out and breed. They now breed unsuccessfully in impossibly arid conditions, when they hear jet aircraft flying over, and no longer have a reliable way of anticipating necessary rainfall. What is the point of trying to save them, if they cannot learn to survive alongside humans in an altered habitat? Not to mention those that get squished under the wheels of cars. Don’t worry, a few million years after man becomes extinct, the world will again be nicely speciated, with every niche filled and humming along ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2014, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/11 "2014-08-23T05:13:49Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > The hazards of human environmental engineering are pretty much here to stay. What man has created in the environment is, from the standpoint of species that wish to survive, is a part of the new nature that they have to learn to deal with. > > Any species that cannot learn to share the earth with humans is going to fail, and they’d better let Darwinian selection weed out those that can’t survive a world of highways and speeding vehicles. (Quote shortened) By this logic, why not let “man” decide that cuteness is a factor? They’re sharing the earth with us, by golly, so let’s favor the cute ones! We’re already mucking up the works a real treat, let’s at least have good looking animals around for company. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2014, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/12 "2014-08-23T05:28:27Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Would you give the “kiss of life” to a koala? I have to admit he’s cuter than some of my past girlfriends. Sure I’m Koalafied. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2014, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/13 "2014-08-23T05:41:54Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > Evolution. We’re teaching koalas and squirrels to instinctively look left and right before crossing roads. I believe in Australia you should look right and then left. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2014, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/14 "2014-08-23T09:46:34Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Personally, I don’t believe in rescuing distressed wild animals. Even less so, picking and choosing the “cute” ones and throwing the rest under the bus. If you want to “help” nature, the only way to do it is to let natural law proceed to favor the fittest. This IS favoring the fittest. Cuteness is obviously beneficial for survival, when we humans are involved. If we keep favoring the cutest animals, animals will keep getting cuter, reaching heretofore unknown cuteness levels. I can’t wait! ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2014, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/15 "2014-08-23T11:30:56Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > Well, if you like eucalyptus, how bad could it be? > > Speaking of bad – was this the first time that the person shooting that video has ever held a camera? I’m pretty sure it was a helmet cam of some type and was just pointing wherever he/she was looking. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/16 "2014-08-24T03:57:05Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > The hazards of human environmental engineering are pretty much here to stay. What man has created in the environment is, from the standpoint of species that wish to survive, is a part of the new nature that they have to learn to deal with. > > Any species that cannot learn to share the earth with humans is going to fail, and they’d better let Darwinian selection weed out those that can’t survive a world of highways and speeding vehicles. > > There is a species of frogs that has, for millennia, associated the sound of thunder with impending rain, and when they hear it, they go out and breed. They now breed unsuccessfully in impossibly arid conditions, when they hear jet aircraft flying over, and no longer have a reliable way of anticipating necessary rainfall. What is the point of trying to save them, if they cannot learn to survive alongside humans in an altered habitat? Not to mention those that get squished under the wheels of cars. > > Don’t worry, a few million years after man becomes extinct, the world will again be nicely speciated, with every niche filled and humming along I’m betting you’re a ton of fun on a date. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/17 "2014-08-24T04:17:29Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I’m betting you’re a ton of fun on a date. I cuddle up and watch chick flicks. There’s a time and a place for everything. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/18 "2014-08-24T06:48:27Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Kissing the Koala What, is that some new euphamism for cunnilingus? > [@](#): > > For today’s heart-warming story, I give you [Sir Chompsalot](http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/sir-chompsalot-the-koala-survives-thanks-to-mouthtomouth-rescucitation-20140822-10728v.html), a koala that was hit by a car and revived by a quick-thinking Aussie wildlife official who gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Oh. > [@muldoonthief](#): > > So the koala was healthy enough to climb a tree, so they had to knock it loose, and the fall made it stop breathing? That sounds like a Keystone Cops rescue. No, that’s not what happened. The koala was struck by a vehicle, but managed to climb up into a tree, where it stopped breathing. The firefighters were able to dislodge it from the tree, and the rescuers caught it in a blanket. However, it was not breathing, so they performed CPR including rescue breathing. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/19 "2014-08-24T09:45:34Z")
Not this guy? > **[Reginald Koala](https://americandad.fandom.com/wiki/Reginald_Koala)** > > Reginald was a homeless man the CIA tricked into participating in one of their mind-swapping experiments, swapping his brain with that of a koala much like Klaus was switched to a goldfish. Reginald now works for the CIA, relying on his cuteness to... 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212/20 "2014-08-24T10:07:32Z")
Heavens no- they can be quite savage. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kissing-the-koala/696212.md?page=2)