# Kitchen experiment (in progress)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 13, 2004, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898 "2004-05-13T02:58:15Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 11\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898/1 "2004-05-13T02:58:15Z")

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16 oz. cream cheese  
14 oz. sweetened condensed milk  
vanilla & banana flavorings to taste (about a half tablespoon each)

I poured this mess into a shortbread pie crust filled with banana slices and I just put it in the fridge. Could this be an easy recipe for banana cream pie? We’ll see. And if the fridge don’t stiffen it up enough, there’s always the freezer.

What’s this? A left over banana? Waste not want not. (Munchmunchmunch!)  
–SSgtBaloo

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**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898/2 "2004-05-13T03:33:22Z")

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It sounds like it might work in the freezer better–that’s quite a bit of liquid to mix into cream cheese and have it set up well in the fridge. Did you whip the two together in a mixer?

Sounds really good, except for the banana (can’t stand 'em). It would be absolutely decadent with about 10 ounces of melted chocolate mixed in.

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**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898/3 "2004-05-13T03:56:45Z")

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> [@JavaMaven1](#):
>
> It sounds like it might work in the freezer better–that’s quite a bit of liquid to mix into cream cheese and have it set up well in the fridge.

Well, sweetened condensed milk is pretty viscous, so I’m waiting to see if I have to resort to the freezer option. It just might set up stiff enough without freezing.

> [@JavaMaven1](#):
>
> Did you whip the two together in a mixer?

Nope. I mixed them with a hand-held blender (sort of a propeller-on-a-stick kind of thingie).

Like I said, it’s a kitchen experiment. I’ll learn something useful even if it doesn’t turn out the way I had planned.

> [@JavaMaven1](#):
>
> Sounds really good, except for the banana (can’t stand 'em). It would be absolutely decadent with about 10 ounces of melted chocolate mixed in.

I like bananas, but the chocolate Idea sounds good, too. Perhaps a mix of crushed semi-sweet chips and a drizzle of melted chocolate might work next time.

–SSgtBaloo

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**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898/4 "2004-05-13T11:04:27Z")

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So, how did it work out?

And next time, try mint. I love mint. (I love garlic, too, but I don’t think that would be appropriate in this respect.)

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**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898/5 "2004-05-13T22:22:24Z")

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Well, it wouldn’t set, so I had to put it in the freezer. It took a soft freeze, so cutting it with a butterknife wasn’t hard, but I had to rinse the blade in warm water once or twice. It’s not too bad – sort of like an ice cream pie, but just a little too sweet. Also I think I could have gotten away with about half as much banana flavoring (and more bananas in the pan – definitely a good thing, that).

Now to solicit advice from self-proclaimed kitchen kommandos: What could I have done so it would take a natural set in the fridge? I suspect it could use a higher CC/SCM ratio (double the cream cheese ought to do it, for 2 pies, or half the sweetened condensed milk for one pie).

Ain’t gonna repeat this one for a bit. There’s quite a bit of pie left and the dog doesn’t want any, so it’s up to me. I might be something of a pig, but I know my limits. 😃

–SSgtBaloo

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**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898/6 "2004-05-13T23:49:33Z")

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Hmm…How about just mashing the bananas and cream cheese together? Add the vanilla and maybe just a little SCM (or regular milk and a little sugar) to make it blendable.

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**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898/7 "2004-05-14T01:23:07Z")

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A wee bit of gelatin may have helped it set up, I imagine.

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**Author:** ![Cherry2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cherry2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry2000)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898/8 "2004-05-14T03:36:56Z")

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Or maybe a box of banana pudding/pie filling…the instant type

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**Author:** ![angelicate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@angelicate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelicate)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898/9 "2004-05-14T04:01:32Z")

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Growing up, my mom had a cookbook with an easy cream cheese pie recipe. It called for 8 oz cream cheese, a 14 oz can of sweetened condensed milk and 1/3 cup of lemon juice. You beat all of this together and poured it into a graham cracker crust, then left it in the fridge for a couple of hours until it set. I never had a problem with these pies setting. I don’t know if the lemon juice had anything to do with that, but it didn’t make it sour, so maybe try that, along with your other flavorings, next time.

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**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898/10 "2004-05-14T08:23:37Z")

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> [@angelicate](#):
>
> Growing up, my mom had a cookbook with an easy cream cheese pie recipe. It called for 8 oz cream cheese, a 14 oz can of sweetened condensed milk and 1/3 cup of lemon juice. You beat all of this together and poured it into a graham cracker crust, then left it in the fridge for a couple of hours until it set. I never had a problem with these pies setting. I don’t know if the lemon juice had anything to do with that, but it didn’t make it sour, so maybe try that, along with your other flavorings, next time.

[Look what I found.](http://www.cooks.com/rec/doc/0,1837,150187-226196,00.html)

I was going to suggest cornstarch, but that would probably only work if you heated it. Still, you might not have to bake it - just heat the condensed milk in a double boiler, add some cornstarch (maybe 1 Tbsp dissolved in a little water) and blend in the cream cheese. It ought to set in the fridge.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kitchen-experiment-in-progress/244898/11 "2004-05-14T08:24:25Z")

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After sampling the first slice, I put the pie back in the fridge (not the freezer). Several hours later, I looked to see if the missing pie slice had filled in, due to defrosting.

It had not. The pie filling had not reverted to a thick, viscous fluid, but seemed to retain some semblance of structural integrity.

A second sampling was in order (all for the sake of science, of course ;)).

The pie filling was now not so solid as when it was frozen. The knife slipped through the filling as easily as if it were butter at a little below room temperature.

The banana slices in the bottom of the pan were no longer the chewy nuggets they were when the pie was frozen, but were simply very cold bits of soft, tasty banana. The filling itself was still a bit sweet for my taste, but a restrained application of whipped cream (from an aerosol can – after all, I _am_ a bachelor) softened the sugary blow to my tastebuds.

All-in-all, I believe this one counts as a success, even though it is technically not a (traditional) banana cream pie.

–SSgtBaloo
