# Klingerman Kooks!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 26, 2001, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingerman-kooks/83961 "2001-09-26T18:49:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingerman-kooks/83961/1 "2001-09-26T18:49:54Z")
Just got the Klingerman warning from Mr. S’s friend’s wife. _sigh_ I was feeling kind, so I sent the following reply: > [@](#): > > This is a hoax ([http://www.snopes.com/toxins/klinger.htm](http://www.snopes.com/toxins/klinger.htm)). An old hoax at > that. Most (99.99999%) of this stuff is hoaxes. I’d like to make two > requests: > > (1) Please check this stuff out first before you forward it. A good source > is [http://www.snopes.com](http://www.snopes.com). You can also do a search on the particular “virus” name > on your favorite search engine (I like Google) and you will probably turn up > confirmation from reputable sources (such as virus protection companies like > Norton and McAfee) that it is indeed a hoax. If it’s a hoax (which it > usually will be), please don’t clog the Internet by spreading untrue > information. You might learn a lot by reading more about virus hoaxes and > their hallmarks (“SEND TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!! DO NOT DELETE!!! ERASES > YOUR ENTIRE HARD DRIVE!!!” and so on). > > (2) Please don’t send these “warnings” to me. I am on the Internet every > day in the course of my work, and I read several news sites and > computer-knowledgable message boards on a daily basis. I also look at > Snopes every few days. If there’s a virus out there, hoax or not, I’ve > probably already heard about it. I also use and update my virus scanner > regularly, and (most important) I never open unexpected attachments without > scanning them first, which is what 99.999% of these warnings are about > anyway – the same “virus” with a different name. > > Thanks. A few minutes later she sent me the “forward this 9 times and get a $50 Cracker Barrel gift certificate” hoax. _double sigh_ Believe it or not, I was still in a charitable mood, so I replied thusly: > [@](#): > > Another hoax. There is no technology for automatically counting how many > times an e-mail has been forwarded. > > Again, please remove me from your “forwards” list. Most “forwards” are > either just false, or I’ve already seen them a million times. I delete many > of them unread anyway, and several times I’ve gotten large attachments that > made my e-mail program crash and delayed important business-related e-mail. > So I’d appreciate it if you limit your mail to me to personal messages only. > > Have a good day. Then she sent me the following response: > [@](#): > > I was not alerting you to a computer virus. I care about you and Mr. S so when I recieved this email from my daughter-in-law I thought that the info should be shared. I’m sorry if I troubled you. In the future I will not be interrupting your work with my emails. _triple sigh_ Another one doesn’t get the point. I sent my third and final response: > [@](#): > > Yes, I understand that, and thanks for caring, but please understand that > most of these things are untrue, so the “information” in them is false and > not helpful at all. I suggest reading the Snopes site to see just how > prevalent these false messages are. In a way, these messages are computer > viruses in themselves because they just take up everyone’s time and > resources, whether work-related or not. The people who make up these things > are playing a game of “Let’s see who we can get to fall for this.” I get > quite a lot of them from well-meaning folks, and when I take the time to > respond, it’s to try to help them not to be “had” in the future. > > Really, check out the Snopes site. It’s well-regarded among Internet folks > as a source on urban legends and hoaxes, and it’s educational and fun > reading to boot! Yes, apparently I do enjoy beating my head against a wall. I tried to fight ignorance today, folks, I really did. But I’m afraid it’s a losing battle. ---
**Author:** ![Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knighted_Vorpal_Sword)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingerman-kooks/83961/2 "2001-09-26T19:12:30Z")
Well, at least I’ve gotten to the point that friends will e-mail me with questions about possible hoaxes . . . before they go and e-mail them out to everyone on their address list. I’d rather take the time to give them the snopes web page cite than have them e-mail hoaxes. I know where you’re coming from, Scarlett67. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingerman-kooks/83961/3 "2001-09-26T19:17:47Z")
It’s the Kobiyashi Maru of etiquette questions. If you ignore it you just let the spamming get worse and if you say anything, even in the most polite of terms, the spammer ends up acting like a whipped puppy. ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingerman-kooks/83961/4 "2001-09-26T22:49:23Z")
A friend of mine - someone I thought I’d trained out of the stupid fucking habit of forwarding every fucking piece of fucking shit that wanders past her fucking inbox - sent me that Q33NY or whatever the fuck it was. I emailed her back, saying that none of the planes had that flight number, US plane regs start with N, the Snopes link (like I haven’t sent it to her thirty-fucking-seven times before), and a polite request to please, Holy Mary mother of God, pleeeeeeaaaaase check this shit before she sends it out. She emailed me back basically saying I’m a bitch for telling her. After all, [whine mode] “I was only forwarding it on. It’s not like I wrote it or anything.” [/whine mode] :mad: I’m getting my flamethrower out and I’m going to pay her a visit. To borrow a line from Snopes, the Inboxer Rebellion has begun. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingerman-kooks/83961/5 "2001-10-03T16:55:10Z")
Yup, this company just got “Klingerman’ed.” Thanks to y’all, I Snopes everything I get. Besides, this one sounded even more lame than usual.