# Klingon Ahporisms **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 22, 2005, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240 "2005-11-22T14:48:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/21 "2005-11-22T21:17:31Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > \ > > Today is Tuesday. You know what that means? Anything can happen day. I thought Tuesday meant that Dawn Summers was in trouble again. No, I’m sorry, that’s a Buffy Ahporisms. Never mind. Carry on. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/22 "2005-11-22T21:23:22Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > I thought Tuesday meant that Dawn Summers was in trouble again. No, I’m sorry, that’s a Buffy Ahporisms. Never mind. Carry on. 😃 [stern voice] You have insulted many Klingon warriors with these post, prepare for your death. Would you like it painful or quick? [/sv] Krajak Please note I am not actual threatning anything, I am just trying to stay in character. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/23 "2005-11-22T21:48:07Z")
Painfull, My Lord, Painfull! Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/24 "2005-11-22T21:58:37Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > Please excuse the hijack, but who the heck is Nick Gorski? [Nick Gorski](http://www.allmyquotes.com/quote/nick_gorski/) 1868-1936 Russian Novelist Now that you all are sooooo impressed at how widely read I am, let me disclaim: I just got cut/paste happy on a page of quotes. I’d never heard of the Gorski dude either. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/25 "2005-11-22T22:17:47Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > Now that you all are sooooo impressed at how widely read I am, let me disclaim: I just got cut/paste happy on a page of quotes. I’d never heard of the Gorski dude either. I thought that Gorski was the guy next door to a young [Neil Armstrong](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a951117.html). ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/26 "2005-11-22T22:19:30Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > [Nick Gorski](http://www.allmyquotes.com/quote/nick_gorski/) 1868-1936 Russian Novelist > > Now that you all are sooooo impressed at how widely read I am, let me disclaim: I just got cut/paste happy on a page of quotes. I’d never heard of the Gorski dude either. Yes, but can he sing songs about cheeseburgers, sharks or drinking? 😉 In keeping with the spirit of this thread, I must now impale myself through the heart with one of those little drink umbrellas. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/27 "2005-11-22T22:24:10Z")
"There is no overkill, only ‘open fire’ and ‘time to reload’ " - Schlock Mercenary ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/28 "2005-11-23T00:40:39Z")
Two men can keep a secret if both of them are dead. A stitch in time stops the bleeding so that you may strike again. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/29 "2005-11-23T01:29:14Z")
-If thine enemy smite you, smite back. Harder. -If at first you don’t succeed, kill. -The pen is mightier than the sword. But only for gouging out eyes. -The only good anything is a dead anything. Except Klingons. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/30 "2005-11-23T04:00:38Z")
Neither a borrower nor a lender be; it is dishonorable to fight over a debt as some petach Ferrengi. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/31 "2005-11-23T05:09:10Z")
If revenge won’t make you feel better, it _will_ keep you from feeling worse. Civilization is a tourniquet…but a good bleeding can purge foul humors. “Let him die with honor who can no longer live with honor.” —Puccini [Much better in the original Klingon] ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/32 "2005-11-23T05:51:13Z")
An “Old Klingon saying” I read in some Star Trek novel : “Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, prepare to die.” ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/33 "2005-11-23T14:30:04Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > Please excuse the hijack, but who the heck is Nick Gorski? I first heard the line about bridge burning on Jimmy Buffett’s 1984 album, “Riddles in the Sand”, which contains a song called, “Burn that Bridge” and which has the following refrain: > > … And we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it > [Parrotthead link](http://margaritaville.com/lyrics_riddles.php) > > I’m not saying my man Jimmy originated that line, but he’s got a better claim to it than Nick Gorski. > > Hijack over. Resume the Klingonese. Hmm… this got me thinking… “Fins to the left. Fins to the right. My house shall feast well on shark tonight.” “Wasted away again in blood-wine-ville. Searching for my lost Kut’luch!” “I wish I had a pencil thin moustache; drenched in the blood of my enemy.” “Why don’t we get drunk and GRROWR SNN-NNORT GRAWK!” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/34 "2005-11-23T15:34:08Z")
“That which is hateful unto you, do first unto another.” “A man with a sharp bat’leh does not talk much with his mouth.” “The only good human is a horribly eviscerated human. This is also true of Vulcans, Romulans, Ferengi, Cardassians, Borg, Tellarites, Andorians… (etc)” “Respect the aged: slay them honourably. Who would die feeble and witless?” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/35 "2005-11-23T16:04:24Z")
A Young, impulsive Warrior stood with an Older, experienced Warrior on a hill over looking a valley full of Romulans. The Young Warrior said to the Old Warrior: “Why don’t we run down there and kill two of those Romulans?” The Old Warrior responded, “Why don’t we walk down there and kill all of them?” ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/36 "2005-11-23T19:52:18Z")
And the young warrior achieved enlightenment. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/37 "2005-11-23T20:21:24Z")
Old Proverb Give a Klingon a fish and he might not kill you. Teach a Klingon to fish and he might let you go free. Eat, Drink and get ready, for tomorrow we go to slay our enemies or die trying. Krajak ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/38 "2005-11-23T20:31:30Z")
You are fit for naught but slaying tribbles! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240/39 "2005-11-23T21:21:37Z")
“Tell us, Oh Master”, they asked, “Of Strong Drink.” “My friends,” Kayless responded, “Have you ever seen an animal sensless and stumbling about as though it were drunk on blood wine?” And they responded, “No, Master, we have not.” “Then you haven’t seen my horse.” responded Kayless. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingon-ahporisms/332240.md?page=1)