# Klingons, Betazoids, Ferengi, Klingons, Klingons, symbiant hosts, sex and marriage. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 11, 2005, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingons-betazoids-ferengi-klingons-klingons-symbiant-hosts-sex-and-marriage/284158 "2005-01-11T03:30:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingons-betazoids-ferengi-klingons-klingons-symbiant-hosts-sex-and-marriage/284158/41 "2005-01-12T13:21:43Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > eating their brains. Sounds reasonable. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingons-betazoids-ferengi-klingons-klingons-symbiant-hosts-sex-and-marriage/284158/42 "2005-01-12T14:09:54Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Do you mean to tell me that I have been laboring over _Harry Potter and the Soft Machine_ to no purpose? > Aw, man! Is that in the Dali/Niven sense or… :eek: No, I don’t want to even **think** about the alternative! :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingons-betazoids-ferengi-klingons-klingons-symbiant-hosts-sex-and-marriage/284158/43 "2005-01-12T17:42:12Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Wooby (a new lifeform spontaneously created by the combination of a string tie, a plastic flute, the Whomobile gear shift knob, a scarf, a sprig of celery, striped pants, an umbrella, and a Victrola) . It’s posts like this that make me wonder why Shamus the Senegal Parrot hasn’t picked up my laugh yet. He sits on my shoulder while I surf the Dope… ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingons-betazoids-ferengi-klingons-klingons-symbiant-hosts-sex-and-marriage/284158/44 "2005-01-13T19:49:36Z")
> [@The Asbestos Mango](#): > > Now, wait just a damn minute, here. There is nothing inherently wrong with fanfic. I’ve written and posted a fanfic myself, (BtVS, not ST) and been told it was pretty damn good. > > The trouble with fanfic is that too much of it is just a bad excuse for worse porn, and most of the rest of it is just … bad. > > **rjk** , if you have a more than halfway decent Worf/Yar story buzzing around in your head, by all means, write the damn thing. Anything written by an SDMB member is bound to be better than 99.44% of the drek floating around the fanfic universe. I knew I should have looked in here sooner! I don’t have any on-screen porn, but if **DocCathode** can do an excerpt, I can do a quick summary. Sorry, **jayjay**. Tasha and Worf are squabbling quietly on the bridge, so Picard orders them to see Troi. They go individually, and each explains in their own way that Tasha wants to join Worf for his workout on the holodeck, but he thinks she can’t keep up. Troi of course sees what’s _really_ going on, and arranges a compromise - one joint workout at a moderate level, and see how it goes. They meet at the holodeck, armed with those Klingon sword things, and find themselves in a foggy swamp with monsters leaping at them. (Costumes get torn little by little all through the following action.) They kill a few monsters, but Worf is watching out for Tasha so much that he gets knocked down. Tasha throws herself on his chest, all distraught, and it looks like they’re about to kiss, but he throws her off in time to kill the monster that was about to land on both of them. They fight some more until Tasha is knocked down. Worf is distraught, throws himself on her, and they both say “Freeze program!” in time to stop the monster in the air above them. Kiss and fade to black. … They enter the hallway outside the holodeck, costumes even more shredded than the previous shot, and both looking thoroughly embarrassed. As they walk away, they meet Riker and Data, greet them as briefly as possible (with no eye contact!) and pass by. Data looks over his shoulder and comments “They seem to have had a very strenuous workout today.” Riker leers over his shoulder and comments “Yes, it certainly _looks_ like it was strenuous!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/klingons-betazoids-ferengi-klingons-klingons-symbiant-hosts-sex-and-marriage/284158.md?page=2)