# Knit you own Penis... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 14, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/knit-you-own-penis/284728 "2005-01-14T16:21:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/knit-you-own-penis/284728/1 "2005-01-14T16:21:28Z")
…or maybe a penis [sweater?](http://www.castoff.info/shop.asp) 4th picture down. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/knit-you-own-penis/284728/2 "2005-01-14T16:25:17Z")
I for one always wondered why the stereotype of older gay men always included the ability to knit. Now I know! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/knit-you-own-penis/284728/3 "2005-01-14T16:38:58Z")
Wow. The big-toe covers are cool, but what I really need is a nose-cozy. Do you think they take special orders? ---
**Author:** ![stargazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@stargazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stargazer)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/knit-you-own-penis/284728/4 "2005-01-14T21:40:35Z")
There’s a [nosewarmer](http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEwinter02/PATTnosewarmer.html) at [knitty.com](http://knitty.com). Enjoy! ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/knit-you-own-penis/284728/5 "2005-01-14T21:48:27Z")
Nothing can get close to what I just clicked on in another forum. Replace ‘knit’ with ‘cut the end off’. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/knit-you-own-penis/284728/6 "2005-01-15T00:10:47Z")
I’m not so convinced that the lipstick is really meant to be lipstick. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/knit-you-own-penis/284728/7 "2005-01-15T00:25:31Z")
At last, I can have a [matched set](http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html)! I’m thinking salt and pepper shaker cozies. That way, when I have children, we can have “the talk” _and_ eat dinner all at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![YWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/6f9a4e/32.png) [@YWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YWalker)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/knit-you-own-penis/284728/8 "2005-01-15T00:34:08Z")
You can always knit your own authentic [uterus](http://www.birthsource.com/proarticlefile/proarticle142.html). The childbirth educator for my first pregnancy had one of these. It absolutely cracked me up. Or, if you’re not as concerned about anatomical correctness, perhaps you can knit your very own [“cute, cuddly uterus doll”](http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html) (complete with fallopian tubes, even.) ---
**Author:** ![SavageNarce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@SavageNarce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SavageNarce)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/knit-you-own-penis/284728/9 "2005-01-15T01:54:54Z")
An old joke springs to mind: My mother made me a homosexual! If you buy her the wool, she’ll make you one too!