# Know any punch lines to famous dirty jokes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2000, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209 "2000-05-11T08:14:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fonz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Fonz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fonz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/1 "2000-05-11T08:14:37Z")
\*\*JUST THE PUNCH LINE[/] …Now she’s making money on the side. …Only enough to win. …Saskatchewan. …$100, same as in town. …First help me find the truck I came in on. ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/2 "2000-05-11T08:33:53Z")
“…I don’t know, but my ass is killing me!” ---
**Author:** ![VaHermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ed655f/32.png) [@VaHermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VaHermit)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/3 "2000-05-11T08:36:09Z")
Only one I know is the second- “Not all of it mama, just enough to win”. IIRC, that one came from Gene Tracy on an old “truck stop” tape. ---
**Author:** ![Calredic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@Calredic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calredic)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/4 "2000-05-11T09:50:05Z")
-“Oh, just a little at first.” -“What, and give up show business?!” –Calredic ---
**Author:** ![FrogP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9f8e36/32.png) [@FrogP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrogP)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/5 "2000-05-11T10:43:36Z")
Crunchbird my ass! Thanks, the others usually leave her swinging. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/6 "2000-05-11T11:25:25Z")
“…In theory, We’re sitting on a gold mine–In reality, we live with a coupla whores…” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/7 "2000-05-11T13:30:39Z")
“Naw, I don’t wanna screw you. I just want you to meet some folks.” * * * “Now aren’t you sorry you had me neutered?” * * * “I dunno. I don’t think **I’d** be able to get up off the floor.” * * * “Whatsa matter, don’t you want to get pregnant?” * * * “You’re 34 years old and you still believe in leprechauns?” * * * “…so I’ve been putting my nose in her armpit.” * * * “I didn’t say you could MOVE!” ---
**Author:** ![Fonz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Fonz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fonz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/8 "2000-05-11T15:23:42Z")
Well, it _didn’t_ hurt; I kept my fingers from coming between the bricks. Because it was all in one strand. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/9 "2000-05-11T15:31:07Z")
…You didn’t come here to hunt, did you? ---
**Author:** ![Fonz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Fonz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fonz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/10 "2000-05-11T15:37:56Z")
Then put me back in the mud. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/11 "2000-05-11T15:51:01Z")
Y’know, most of the guys just rides 'er into town." ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/12 "2000-05-11T15:55:00Z")
Sure, just don’t hit me as hard as you did the monkey! How do you think I rang the doorbell? No, the guy before you was… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/13 "2000-05-11T15:55:55Z")
“If only Princess Margaret were here, we might have saved the Bentley. . .” “Turn her over!” “Ernie—get off my back!” “What’s the matter—ain’t ya got a vase?” “Ping-Pong balls? I thought you said King Kong’s balls!” ---
**Author:** ![sdimbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdimbert/32/20204_2.png) [@sdimbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdimbert)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/14 "2000-05-11T16:17:40Z")
Yucky: “So when they get drunk you can carry them home like a six-pack” (think about it). Funny as hell: “Ping-pong balls? I thought you said ‘ **King Kong’s** balls!’” ---
**Author:** ![sdimbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdimbert/32/20204_2.png) [@sdimbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdimbert)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/15 "2000-05-11T16:18:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Funny as hell: > “Ping-pong balls? I thought you said ‘ **King Kong’s** balls!’” Damn simul-post! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/16 "2000-05-11T16:24:44Z")
Notthemama, I’m still wondering about that neutered joke…well? ---
**Author:** ![Fonz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Fonz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fonz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/17 "2000-05-11T17:00:43Z")
**…Because it circles Uranus, wiping out Klingons.** ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/18 "2000-05-11T17:21:13Z")
“Because Tuesday’s **your** day in the barrel.” “I just bet the guy in back **five** hundred dollars that I could piss all over your bar and you’d laugh about it.” ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/19 "2000-05-11T17:47:18Z")
“It takes you ten minutes to get hard, three minutes to get soft, and only your mother will sit on your face.” ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/20 "2000-05-11T17:58:03Z")
Swim. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209.md?page=2)