# Know any punch lines to famous dirty jokes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2000, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209 "2000-05-11T08:14:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/21 "2000-05-11T17:58:26Z")
You’re tired… I lost the hot dog 4 bars ago!! ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/22 "2000-05-11T18:01:02Z")
Twenty bucks, same as in town. No you idiot, I said REGINA! (a tribute to our friends up North.) ---
**Author:** ![aseymayo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aseymayo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aseymayo)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/23 "2000-05-11T18:05:09Z")
You know what I want - take it off and throw it up here! She opened the door and he kicked her in the stomach. ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/24 "2000-05-11T18:18:24Z")
“Shoot the dog! Shoot the dog!” “Yeah, but this one’s eating my popcorn!” “I was just checking for hornets’ nests!” ---
**Author:** ![OldBroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@OldBroad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldBroad)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/25 "2000-05-11T18:26:41Z")
But I’m going as fast as I can! (First dirty joke I ever heard - had to be 1955) ---
**Author:** ![JohnnyDigits](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@JohnnyDigits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnnyDigits)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/26 "2000-05-11T19:09:03Z")
“Bent it? I damn near broke it!” “And I didn’t wish for a 12-inch pianist either.” ---
**Author:** ![Fonz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Fonz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fonz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/27 "2000-05-11T19:18:37Z")
**…JohnnyDigits** (Not familiar with that one? Write your own joke and post it here!) ---
**Author:** ![Fleetwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fleetwood/32/271_2.png) [@Fleetwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fleetwood)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/28 "2000-05-11T19:23:49Z")
Everbody did! ---
**Author:** ![Fleetwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fleetwood/32/271_2.png) [@Fleetwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fleetwood)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/29 "2000-05-11T19:27:11Z")
OOPs! Ever **y** body did! ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Propski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@Guy\_Propski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Propski)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/30 "2000-05-11T20:14:36Z")
We’re ALL going to Denver! Rectum? I damn near broke 'em! So a guy will have some place to put his beer! “Damn! Now I’ll never get that smell out of the fish!” “All of them.” ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Propski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@Guy\_Propski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Propski)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/31 "2000-05-11T20:17:45Z")
We’re ALL going to Denver! Rectum? I damn near broke 'em! So a guy will have some place to put his beer! “Damn! Now I’ll never get that smell out of the fish!” “All of them.” ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/32 "2000-05-11T20:27:03Z")
1. “Hey, that’s not my bellybotton!” “That’s okay, that not my finger, either.” 2. So it doesn’t poke an eye out. ---
**Author:** ![epeepunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f19dbf/32.png) [@epeepunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epeepunk)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/33 "2000-05-11T20:58:09Z")
“… and now its growing wild on the beach.” “Turn her over, I want a puppy.” ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/34 "2000-05-11T21:05:33Z")
I heard you’re writing a book. Well kiss my ass and make it a love story. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/35 "2000-05-11T21:33:48Z")
I just realized I left out part of the punch line. So, here we have it again, this time in its completion: “You only get laid once, you only get eaten once, it takes you ten minutes to get hard, three minutes to get soft, and only your mother will sit on your face.” ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/36 "2000-05-11T21:44:24Z")
Is that you, Bubba? ---
**Author:** ![My\_Sister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@My\_Sister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Sister)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/37 "2000-05-11T22:26:30Z")
My wife, my best friend, and my mistress! ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/38 "2000-05-11T22:27:42Z")
Move over, gals… gotta gargle. ---
**Author:** ![blueslady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@blueslady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blueslady)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2000, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/39 "2000-05-11T22:41:29Z")
“Ernie, you’ve been munching grass for an hour!” “…where’s my cookie…WHAM!” “I never asked him for a 12 inch pianist!” “twenty mins. of waiting for a 4 min. ride.” “she puts down her nail file.” “his penis was gone, his knee was broke, and he had no heath insurance.” ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/40 "2000-05-12T01:05:51Z")
‘It looked so good, I ate it myself’. Some of the punchlines have got me stumped - no that’s not another punchline - so please can you tell me the joke as well! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209.md?page=3)