# Know any punch lines to famous dirty jokes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2000, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209 "2000-05-11T08:14:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![X-files](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/76d3ee/32.png) [@X-files](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X-files)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2000, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/61 "2000-05-17T18:47:25Z")
**You’ll screw anybody? What lawfirm do YOU work for?** ---
**Author:** ![Fyodor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/958977/32.png) [@Fyodor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fyodor)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/62 "2000-05-17T19:17:21Z")
Why so many questions, Two Dogs Fucking? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2000, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/63 "2000-05-17T19:32:36Z")
I was playing with the rubber doll, he spit at me, so I bit his ugly head off. Whattaya want for five dollars? Lobster? How do you think I rang the doorbell? Here’s one dollar for a haircut. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/64 "2000-05-22T00:50:26Z")
Sorry to come in so late on this… “Who cares?” (For those of you familiar with the joke, I don’t endorse the “viewpoint” contained therein. I just think the joke is funny. Sue me.) “Then why does it taste salty?” (This isn’t actually a joke, it was something that reportedly occured in a biology class. Unfortunately, I now believe it’s an urban legend. Too bad, because it’s priceless.) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/65 "2000-05-22T03:27:38Z")
Oh, leave him alone. He knowth what he’th doing. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/66 "2000-05-22T03:29:01Z")
…and he CAN… zen HE has sang-froid! ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/67 "2000-05-22T06:24:58Z")
Alright already!!! I’LL do the damn dishes!!! And when I go down, I go down in flames!!! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2000, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/68 "2000-05-23T07:49:35Z")
In that case, why were you in such a hurry at the end? ---
**Author:** ![malaka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@malaka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malaka)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2000, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/69 "2000-05-23T12:26:59Z")
“Death…by Bunga-Bunga!” “Forget it…you can keep the duck!” “You’re gonna hate Fridays…” ---
**Author:** ![Alpha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Alpha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2000, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/70 "2000-05-27T15:41:40Z")
because there’s no place like home for good eating. ---
**Author:** ![ArchieLeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/58956e/32.png) [@ArchieLeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArchieLeech)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/71 "2000-05-28T02:28:16Z")
“Yeah, it was good. Funny thing, though: she kept twisting my ears.” “And I think Mommy would have, too, if the milkman hadn’t been holding her down.” “When you pull that thing out, there better be numbers on it.” “So I bucked one and Timbuktu.” “No, you can’t, you can’t have it. I threw it away!” ---
**Author:** ![ArchieLeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/58956e/32.png) [@ArchieLeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArchieLeech)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2000, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/72 "2000-05-28T02:31:56Z")
Oops, two others… “Well, you see, Cindy Crawford was a very bad girl…” “Think this is good? You should’ve seen the guy with the chicken last night.” ---
**Author:** ![ArchieLeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/58956e/32.png) [@ArchieLeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArchieLeech)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2000, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/73 "2000-05-28T19:46:40Z")
How could I forget?.. “I going to mosey on down and get them all.” ---
**Author:** ![X-files](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/76d3ee/32.png) [@X-files](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X-files)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2000, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/74 "2000-05-29T00:42:45Z")
He says he scored with all the wives in the building but one? Must be that snob in 6B. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2000, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/75 "2000-05-29T11:23:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Alright already!!! I’LL do the damn dishes!!! > > \*\* This one is CLASSIC!! Some others I thought were funny as hell (If you haven’t heard them and want to, drop me an e-mail. I’m not sure I want to post 'em.): The chief was silent for a moment, then said, “Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I won’t say anything more about that white child” The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts. “Well, remember the time you wanted to be alderman…and was short 45 votes??” The father replied, “From the smell of his fingers, our son in law.” ---
**Author:** ![Fonz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Fonz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fonz)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2000, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/76 "2000-09-02T20:56:27Z")
Shrink: “ **I can clearly see your nuts.** ” ---
**Author:** ![Fonz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Fonz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fonz)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/77 "2000-09-02T21:02:04Z")
**…because I figure there must be a pony under it.** ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2000, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/78 "2000-09-02T21:48:24Z")
Because there is mayonaise all over the bathroom. I already sucked out all the cream filling. ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2000, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/79 "2000-09-02T21:50:04Z")
Wow, that was my 200th post and I didn’t even notice. Woohoo. I’m less and less of a newbie every day. /hijack ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2000, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209/80 "2000-09-02T22:22:27Z")
“Oh no, not _another_ breathalyzer!” “No, I couldn’t find her head.” “Well then shove it up that camel’s ass so we can get out of here.” “I thought you might want to open those beers first.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-punch-lines-to-famous-dirty-jokes/19209.md?page=5)