# Know any silly songs? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 30, 2002, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474 "2002-05-30T01:19:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/21 "2002-05-31T02:27:40Z")
**Quartet:** “There lived a man so long ago, his memory’s but faint Was not admired, did not inspire like president or saint But people came from far and near with their afflicted pets For a special cure they knew for sure wouldn’t come from other vets! Woooahhh …” **Larry:**"This is a song for your poor, sick penguin He’s got a fever and his toes are blue But if I sing to your poor, sick penguin He will feel better in a day or two! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo Yada-yada yada-yada yad-eee-ooo!" **Pa:** “He’s gone a little loopy, In case you haven’t heard. Here’s a couple’ pennicilin For your sicky, arctic bird.” **Quartet:** “No skeptic could explain just how, nor could one oft rebut, The wonderous deeds that went on in that little Alpine hut. Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps. Woooahhh …” **Pa:** “Good news on the penguin, doc! He’s up and kickin’!” **Larry:**"This is a song for your pregnant kitty She’s looking nauseous and a week past due But if I sing for your pregnant kitty She will feel better in a day or two! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo Yodel-leh-hee yodel-ye-dee yodel-eee-ooo Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-aye-hoo Yada-yada yada-yada ya-ga-doo!" **Pa:** “Jump in your car, drive into the city, Buy a jug of milk for your nauseated kitty.” **Quartet:** “The practice grew, their profits flew until one fateful day, When the nurse who did assist the doc asked for a raise in pay. The doctor pondered this awhile, sat back and scratched his scalp, then said: ‘No way, Jose!’ To the nurse of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps. Woooahhh …” **Pa:** “Good news on the kitty, doc! She’s feelin’ great. Six kittens. Named one after you.” **Larry:**"This is a song for your bear-trapped teddy He looks uncomfy, think I’d be too. But if I sing for your bear-trapped teddy He will feel better in a day or two! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo Yodel-leh-hee O-layhee Oly-ooo Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo Yodel-leh-hee yaba-daba yaba-doo!" **Bear:** “Grooooooowllll!” **Pa:** “Oh, yeah - that’ll work. He’s good.” **Larry:** “Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo! No, wait! This should work! Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo yodel-leh-hoo!” **Quartet:** “Now the moral of the story, it’s the point we hope we’ve made: When you go a little loopy better keep your nurse well paid!” **Larry:** “Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo! Yodel odle odle aye de aye de ooo-ooo-ooo!” **Quartet:** “Oh! Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps!” ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/22 "2002-05-31T07:25:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mblackwell \* > \*\*Do you happen to know of another older one called “We’re Crazy” or something like that? > > I think one line goes “a barefoot boy with his shoes on stood sitting in the grass.”\*\* Could you be thinking of “This Crazy Mixed-Up Song”? The chorus is sung to the “Stars and Stripes Forever” and is a lot like the song **The Scrivener** mentioned. 'Twas midnight on the ocean, not a streetcar was in sight, The sun was shining brightly in the middle of the night, A barefoot boy with shoes on stood there sitting in a tree, And when I put my glasses on I heard this melody: _Be kind to your web-footed friends, For a duck may be somebody’s mother Be kind to the denizens of the swamp Where it’s always cold and dahmp. You may think that this is the end Well, it isn’t, 'cause there is another chorus._ 'Twas midnight on the ocean when the rain began to snow The cows all started crowing 'cause the time had come to go This crazy mixed-up guy was swimming all around the lawn, Looking for the end of this crazy mixed-up song: _Be kind to your web-footed friends, For a duck may be somebody’s mother Be kind to the denizens of the swamp Where it’s always cold and dahmp. You may think that this is the end Well, it isn’t, 'cause there is another chorus._ 'Twas midnight on the ocean as he slowly rushed away He thought it was tomorrow 'cause it wasn’t yesterday And now he lives in Tennessee beside the pyramids Raising lots of nanny goats and crazy mixed-up kids. _Be kind to your web-footed friends, For a duck may be somebody’s mother Be kind to the denizens of the swamp Where it’s always cold and dahmp. You may think that this is the end Well, it is._ ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/23 "2002-05-31T08:05:51Z")
To the tune of “I’m Looking Over a Four-Leaf Clover:” I’m looking over my dead dog Rover Who I over-ran with the mower. One paw is missing, the other is gone, The third paw is splattered all over the lawn. The fourth remaining is overhanging The back of the kitchen door I’m looking over my dead dog Rover Who I over-ran with the mower. More (can’t describe the tune): The other day my doggy died. Doggy died. He died committing suicide. Suicide. Some say 'twas meningitis. Some say he died to spite us. He was a nasty doggy anyhow. We ate 'im. Hoitsy Toitsy Moiphy, She soitanly was a goil. She lived on toity-second street Right next to toidy-toid. She reads the “New Yawk Joinal.” She reads the “New Yawk Woild.” And all the boys love Hoitsy Toitsy Cause her hair is coiled. Also, does anyone know the words to Steve Martin’s Grandma’s song? (Be courteous, kind, and forgiving…Be helpful and thoughtful each day…criticize things you don’t know about…be oblong and have your knees removed…etc.) ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/24 "2002-05-31T14:25:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kyomara \* > \*\* > Also, does anyone know the words to Steve Martin’s Grandma’s song? (Be courteous, kind, and forgiving…Be helpful and thoughtful each day…criticize things you don’t know about…be oblong and have your knees removed…etc.) \*\* I love his “Grandmother’s song.” The lyrics are [here](http://maynardo.everydaylies.com/archives/000375.php). Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/25 "2002-05-31T14:27:30Z")
Of course, there is **The Rooster Song** I had a Chicken that wouldn’t lay eggs . I had a Chicken that wouldn’t lay eggs. I said, “now, Honey, this isn’t funny”, I had a Chicken that wouldn’t lay eggs. Until that Rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard (bawk, bawk, bawk), And caught that Chicken right off its guard. We’re having Eggs now, just like we use to. Ever since that rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard. I had a Cow that wouldn’t give milk. I had a Cow that wouldn’t give milk. I said, “now, Honey, this isn’t funny”, I had a Cow that wouldn’t give milk. Until that Rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard (bawk, bawk, bawk), And caught that Cow right off its guard. We’re having Eggnog, just like we use to. Ever since that rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard. Some other verses - Dog : have pups : Pooched eggs Toaster: make toast : Eggos Gardner: grow veggies : eggplant Teacher : give tests : Egg-sams Toy Shop: sell toys: Legos Farmer: grow beans: Chick Peas Brain : answers : Eggheads Gum machine: give gum : chicklets I had a Song that went on too long. I had a Song that went on too long. I said, “now, Honey, this isn’t funny”, I had a Song that went on too long. Until that Rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard (bawk, bawk, bawk), And caught that Song right off its guard. We’re Egg-sasparated, just like we use to. Ever since that rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard. Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/26 "2002-05-31T14:43:17Z")
Oh I wish I was a little black mosquito Oh I wish I was a little black mosquito I’d stingy and I’d bitey under everybody’s nightie Oh I wish I was a little black mosquito. Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap I’d slippy and I’d slidey over everybody’s hiney Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap. Oh I wish I was a little keg of beer Oh I wish I was a little keg of beer I’d go down with a slurp and I’d come up with a burp Oh I wish I was a little keg of beer. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/27 "2002-05-31T15:30:01Z")
I was just reminded of this one. My grand children will hot here this one. Theres a skeeter on my peter, whack it off. Theres a skeeter on my peter, whack it off. Theres a dozen on my cousin, can’t you here the damn things buzzin’ Theres a skeeter on my peter, whack it off. ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/28 "2002-05-31T15:56:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Morgainelf \* > \*\*Oh I wish I was a little black mosquito > Oh I wish I was a little black mosquito > I’d stingy and I’d bitey under everybody’s nightie > Oh I wish I was a little black mosquito. > > Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap > Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap > I’d slippy and I’d slidey over everybody’s hiney > Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap. > > Oh I wish I was a little keg of beer > Oh I wish I was a little keg of beer > I’d go down with a slurp and I’d come up with a burp > Oh I wish I was a little keg of beer. \*\* Oh I wish I were a little dicky-bird Oh I wish I were a little dicky-bird I would sit upon the steeple Dropping droppings on the people Oh I wish I were a little dicky-bird * * * My grandmother (a kindergarten teacher for heaven’s sake!) taught us [Johnny Verbeck](http://www.scoutsongs.com/lyrics/johnnyverbeck.html) and also (couldn’t find a site cite for this one) I’m a villian, a dirty, dirty villian I put poison in my mother’s shredded wheat I take delight in stirring up a fight And whacking little kittens on the head (Til they’re dead!) I put the smudge upon the family escutcheon I eat (snort snort) raw meat! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![booklover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@booklover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/booklover)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/29 "2002-05-31T16:13:33Z")
To the tune of “Glory, Glory Hallelujah” Oh, he jumped from forty thousand feet without a parachute, He jumped from forty thousand feet without a parachute, He jumped from forty thousand feet without a parachute, And he ain’t gonna jump no more. Chorus: Glory, glory, what a heckuva way to die Glory, glory what a heckuva way to die Glory, glory what a heckuva way to die And he ain’t gonna jump no more. They scraped him off the tarmac like a lump of strawberry jam They scraped him off the tarmac like a lump of strawberry jam They scraped him off the tarmac like a lump off strawberry jam And he ain’t gonna jump no more Chorus They put him in an envelope and sent him off to Mum They put him in an envelope and sent him off to Mum They put him in an envelope and sent him off to Mum And he ain’t gonna jump no more Chorus She put him on the mantelpiece for all the world to see She put him on the mantelpiece for all the world to see She put him on the mantelpiece for all the world to see And he ain’t gonna jump no more Chorus (on the word jump, singers should jump) I know lots more, as I went to Girl Scout camp for nine years! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/30 "2002-05-31T16:14:31Z")
MBlackwell, I love “Fido Is a Hot Dog Now,” and treasure my 78 of it! “But I won’t look all over, the way they did for Rover, For I know just where little Fido’s gone, poor dog— He’s in a place below where all the naughty doggies go, Down, down, down, where there isn’t any snow! Though his hair was short and his tail was long, I miss the little devil somehow (Bow-wow!) But he won’t get cold feet, at that, there’s ‘Too Much Mustard’ where he’s at— Fido Is a Hot Dog Now!” Lisa Ann the song you quote sounds like a 1920s novelty song called “I Love Me” (why, yes, I have a recording of that one, too!): “I love me, I love me, I’m wild about myself I love me, I love me, my picture’s on my shelf. You may not think I look so good, but me thinks I’m divine It’s grand when I look in my eyes and know I’m mine, all mine! I love me, I love me, and my love doesn’t bore Day by day in every way I love me more and more. I take me to a quiet place I put my arm around my waist… If me gets fresh I slap my face! I’m wild about myself.” ---
**Author:** ![Lisa\_Ann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lisa\_Ann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa_Ann)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/31 "2002-05-31T16:19:16Z")
Kewl! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/32 "2002-05-31T16:30:16Z")
Lisa Ann, here’s a [link](http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/5109/NovILov.html) to the complete lyrics, which were too long to print here. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa\_Ann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lisa\_Ann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa_Ann)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/33 "2002-05-31T16:46:26Z")
Thanks, **eve**. Does anyone know the song about Big Red gum and consumption? I’ll have to ask my mom this weekend. She’s got a ton of them. My Grampa Barsness used to sing to us at bedtime when he was visiting from Minnesota, ya. This is my favorite: Oh, I hear the chickies peepin’ on the other side the fence My mama’d let me have one if she had a bit of sense For I’s born to be a farmer, sure as I’ve a soul But how’m I gonna do it through an old knot hole? ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/34 "2002-05-31T19:08:47Z")
My dad used to sing this one – Sweet Rosie O’Grady, She was a blacksmith by birth. Poor Rosie got tired of living And wanted to leave this earth. So she swallowed a tape-line But dying by inches was hard. So Rosie went out in the alley Laid down and died by the yard. I know “The Billboard Song” too – **mblackwell** I posted the lyrics one time and I think you mentioned you had an Mp3 then. I’d love to hear it! This is more of a rhyme, but the song **flodnak** posted reminded me of it – One fine day in the middle of the night Two dead boys arose to fight. Back to back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise And came and shot the two dead boys. ---
**Author:** ![crazy4chaucer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@crazy4chaucer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazy4chaucer)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/35 "2002-05-31T19:21:12Z")
On top of spaghetti All covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball, When somebody sneezed. It rolled of the table, then onto the floor, And then my poor meatball Rolled out of the door. There’s more, but the rest of it escapes me now. ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/36 "2002-05-31T19:24:21Z")
It rolled into the garden, and under a bush. The last time I saw it, it was nothing but mush. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@kase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kase)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/37 "2002-05-31T22:09:50Z")
I LOVE this board 🙂 🙂 🙂 A Ram Sam Sam A ram sam sam, a ram sam sam Gooli gooli gooli gooli gooli ram sam sam A ram sam sam, a ram sam sam Gooli gooli gooli gooli gooli ram sam sam A rafi a rafi Gooli gooli gooli gooli gooli ram sam sam A rafi a rafi gooli gooli gooli gooli gooli ram sam sam \*Actions: Ram sam sam: prop yourself up and bounce your backside on the floor three times Gooli gooli…: drum your feet on the floor A rafi: wave arms in the air Repeat the song a number of times, getting faster and faster. Or alternatively, the song can be sung in a four-part round\* **O.O** ---
**Author:** ![mblackwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mblackwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mblackwell)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/38 "2002-05-31T22:35:47Z")
**Flodnak** - That may be the same song, but the version I am thinking about has a completely different chorus. I’ve heard that chourus as a seperate song except it has “fine feathered freinds” instead of webfooted. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/39 "2002-06-01T00:10:57Z")
Anybody remember the words to “Sippin’ Cider Through A Straw”? ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/40 "2002-06-01T01:25:26Z")
_Old McDonald sittin’ on a bench, Beatin’ his meat with a monkey wrench. He swung to hard and hit his balls, And he sh!tted all over his overalls."_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474.md?page=3)