# Know any silly songs? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 30, 2002, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474 "2002-05-30T01:19:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Helena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@Helena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/41 "2002-06-01T01:58:23Z")
My brother made up another verse to “Johnny Verbeck”: Then one day a space ship landed on the roof The aliens appeared in Johnny’s bedroom with a poof They said, “Take us to your leader,” he showed them the machine His customers could never tell why all their meat was green ---
**Author:** ![Jeffrey\_Hartnett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/77aa72/32.png) [@Jeffrey\_Hartnett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeffrey_Hartnett)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/42 "2002-06-01T03:14:05Z")
Mblackwell; If I am not mistaken the song you are thinknig of is “Ain’t we crazy” If memory serves it was recorded many years ago by an artist named Haywire Mack. It goes something like this: Now I know a little ditty It’s as crazy as can be The guy who wrote it said he wanted it and handed it to me. I found I couldn’t use it because it sounded blue and that’s the very reason that I’m handing it to you. Chorus: ain’t we crazy? ain’t we crazy? but this is the way we pass the time of day ain’t we crazy? Ain’t we crazy? We’re going to sing this song all night today It’s a song the aligators sing while coming through the rye as the serenade the elephants up in the trees so high the iceman hums this ditty as he shovels in the coal and the monkeys join the chorus up around the northern pole Chorus it was midnight on the ocean not a streetcar was in sight the sun was shining brightly for it rained all day that night it was a summer’s night in winter and the and the rain was snowing fast as a barefoot boy with shoes on stood a sitting in the grass chorus it was evening and the setting sun was rising in the west the little fishes in the trees were huddled in their nests the rain was pouring down and the moon was shing bright and everything that you could see was hidden out of sight chorus a few more verses go in here and finally: It was midnight on the ocean not a horsecar was in sight as I stepped into a drugstore to get myself a light the man behind the counter was a woman old and gray who used to peddle shoestrings on the road to mandalay Chorus Good evening sir the woman cried and her eyes were bright with tears she put her head beneath her feet and stood that way for years her children six were orphans except one tiny tot who lived in a house across the street above a vacant lot. Final chorus Sorry this was so long but this is my all time favorite silly song. Thanks for letting me share. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/43 "2002-06-01T04:32:09Z")
Silly, yet totally charming as well: [url=http://www.geoffreywelchman.com/page600720.htm]Pterodactyl and Me[/url. (You’ll have to scroll down.) ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/44 "2002-06-01T04:33:20Z")
Urgh, sorry. Preview is my friend. [http://www.geoffreywelchman.com/page600720.htm](http://www.geoffreywelchman.com/page600720.htm) is the proper link. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/45 "2002-06-02T16:17:06Z")
Let me tell y’all a story 'bout a man named Jed. Took Ellie Mae, and threw her in the bed. Unzipped his pants, out popped a worm, Up thru the top came a bubbling sperm. White gold…incestial tea! Three months later ol Ellie got fat. Granny said “who the hell did that”? Six months later, out it came. A baldheaded brat swinging on a chain. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/46 "2002-06-02T18:03:05Z")
(Ahem:) I’m Henry the eighth I am Henry the eighth I am, I am I got married to the widow next door She’d been married seven times before And every one was an Henry (Henry) She wouldn’t have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam) I’m her eighth old man, I’m Henry Henry the eighth I am * * * It sounds funny, I know, But it really is so, Oh, I’m my own grandpa. I’m my own grandpa. I’m my own grandpa. It sounds funny, I know, But it really is so, Oh, I’m my own grandpa. Now many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three, I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon they, too, were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life, My daughter was my mother, cause she was my father’s wife. To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy, I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad, And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad. For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother Of the widow’s grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother. Father’s wife then had a son who kept him on the run, And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter’s son. My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue, Because, although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother, too. Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild, And everytime I think of it, it nearly drives me wild, For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa! I’m my own grandpa. I’m my own grandpa. It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so, Oh, I’m my own grandpa. * * * May the bird of paradise fly up your nose May an elephant caress you with his toes May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose May the bird of paradise fly up your nose. * * * And one I hope not to get flamed for: Well, lemme tell you ‘bout Ahab the Arab Sheik of the burnin’ sands He had em’ralds and rubies jus’ a-drippin’ offa him And a ring on every finger of his hand He had a big ol’ turban, wrapped around his head And a scimitar by his side, And - every evenin’, about midnight, He’d jump on his camel named Clyde… And ride… ---
**Author:** ![kase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@kase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kase)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/47 "2002-06-02T19:30:53Z")
LMAO @ “bird of paradise” What \* is \* that? Seattle’s Monty Python? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Another\_Primate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Another\_Primate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Another_Primate)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/48 "2002-06-02T20:00:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by crazy4chaucer \* > \*\*On top of spaghetti > All covered with cheese, > I lost my poor meatball, > When somebody sneezed. > It rolled of the table, then onto the floor, > And then my poor meatball > Rolled out of the door. > > There’s more, but the rest of it escapes me now. \*\* It rolled down the sidewalk, and into the street. And now my poor meatball is nothing but meat. ---
**Author:** ![Another\_Primate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Another\_Primate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Another_Primate)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/49 "2002-06-02T20:02:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hillbilly queen \* > \*\*Anybody remember the words to “Sippin’ Cider Through A Straw”? \*\* I remember it as a duet: The cutest girl the cutest girl I ever saw I ever saw Was sipping soda through a straw The cutest girl I ever saw Was sipping soda through a straw. (That’s all I can remember.) ---
**Author:** ![Another\_Primate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Another\_Primate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Another_Primate)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/50 "2002-06-02T20:05:09Z")
Can’t remember the name of the (classical?) tune this is set to: Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilets on the train when passing through the station I love you Every evening after dark we’re pinching statues in the park If Custer’s horse can stand it, why can’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/51 "2002-06-02T21:15:19Z")
> [@](#): > > LMAO @ “bird of paradise” > > What is that? Seattle’s Monty Python? Recorded by Little Jimmy Dickens ( [http://allmusicguide.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=B0m6zefrkhgf6](http://allmusicguide.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=B0m6zefrkhgf6) ) Written by Neal Merritt I learned it from my grandfather, though. I doubt if I’ve even heard the original. ---
**Author:** ![pendgwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@pendgwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pendgwen)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/52 "2002-06-02T21:49:51Z")
Oh, the cannibal king with the big nose ring fell in love with the hula da-a-ame and every night in the pale moonlight across the ocean he ca-a-ame well he hugged and he kissed his pretty little miss in the shade of the bamboo tree-e-e and eveyr night in the pale moonlight it sounds like this to me-e-e a-rum _smooch_ _smooch_ a-rum \*smoock \* _smooch_ a-rum-bady-ady-a-a-a a-rum _smooch_ _smooch_ a-rum \*smoock \* _smooch_ a-rum-bady-ady-a And it goes on for several more verses about them having kids, the kids growing up, etc. ---
**Author:** ![mblackwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mblackwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mblackwell)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/53 "2002-06-02T22:21:21Z")
**Jeffrey Hartnett** Thanks, thats the one. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/54 "2002-06-03T00:42:07Z")
If anyone knows the words to “Tony Chestnut” please post! You know, Toe-Knee-Chest-Nut-Nose-Eye- Love him-Toe-knee-nose…I think the names Neal, Pat, and Eileen are involved somewhere. I heard this one a long time ago, and I can never remember the rest. Here’s one we sang in school: I have a sad story to tell you You might not like it a bit This morning when i went to the bathroom I slipped in a pile of shhhhhhhaving cream Be nice and clean, shave everyday and you’ll always smell clean. My sister fell out of the window we thought her head might be split But luck was with her that morning She fell in a barrel of shhhhhhhaving cream Be nice and clean, shave every day and you’ll always smell clean. In France I joined the army I took a look in my kit I thought I would find a sandwich Instead it was full of shhhhhaving cream Be nice and clean, shave every day and you’ll always smell clean. And now I’m through with my story You might not have liked it a bit But if any of you are offended Stick your head in a pile of Sh\*t!!! Okay, I don’t know if the words are in any way correct, but that’s how we always sang it! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![crazy4chaucer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@crazy4chaucer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazy4chaucer)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/55 "2002-06-03T12:16:48Z")
The cutest boy I ever saw Was sippin’ cider through a straw. The cutest boy I ever saw Was sippin’ cider through a straw. I told that boy I didn’t see how He sipped that cider through a straw. I told that boy I didn’t see how He sipped that cider through a straw. Then cheek to cheek and jaw to jaw We sipped that cider through a straw. Then cheek to cheek and jaw to jaw We sipped that cider through a straw. And now and then that straw would slip And I’d sip some cider from his lip. And now and then that straw would slip And I’d sip some cider from his lip. And now I’ve got a mother-in-law And 42 kids who call me maw. And now I’ve got a mother-in-law From sippin’ cider through a straw. The moral of this story is Don’t sip your cider through a straw The moral of this story is Don’t sip your cider through a straw. SIP MILK! ---
**Author:** ![crazy4chaucer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@crazy4chaucer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazy4chaucer)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/56 "2002-06-03T12:19:39Z")
Here’s another one (sorry–I can’t resist) Way up in the sky, the little birds fly. While down in the nest, the little birds rest. With a wing to the left, and a wing to the right, The little birds sleep all through the night. Shhhh! THEY’RE SLEEPING! (screeched loudly) The bright sun comes up, the dew falls away. “Good morning! Good morning!” the little birds say. Okay, I’m done now. (Slinks away with head hanging) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/57 "2002-06-03T12:43:05Z")
I’m not too sure on the ending, but here’s a nice icky song: “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I guess I’m gonna have to eat worms. Big ones, little ones, ishy gishy squishy ones, ones that wiggle and squirm. Bite off thier heads, and squeeze out their juices, and throw their tales a-way. Fat ones, skinny ones, even black and brown ones, I’m gonna eat worms all day” Also, look into Haywood Banks. His songs are incredibly silly, but what makes him great are that he sings them to adults. Songs like “Fishing worms,” “If I had a Bulldozer,” “IF Pigs had Wings,” and to be a little educational, “There’s 18 Wheels on a Big Rig.” Some of the humor may be over the kids (and even adults), but they’re silly, and pretty much all good for kids. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/58 "2002-06-03T12:45:13Z")
Just as an example (because now I’m thinking of it), the chorus to “The Cat Got Dead”: Ooooohh… The cat got dead, we put him in a box, then we dug a little hole, and covered it with rocks, then we picked a couple dandilions, said a little prayer, then we all went off to bed, 'cause we mostly didn’t care." ---
**Author:** ![booklover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@booklover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/booklover)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/59 "2002-06-03T14:23:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by crazy4chaucer \* > \*\*Here’s another one (sorry–I can’t resist) > > Way up in the sky, the little birds fly. > While down in the nest, the little birds rest. > With a wing to the left, and a wing to the right, > The little birds sleep all through the night. > > Shhhh! THEY’RE SLEEPING! (screeched loudly) > > The bright sun comes up, the dew falls away. > “Good morning! Good morning!” the little birds say. > > \*\* We sang that at camp, along with the following parody: Way up in the sky, the little birds die While down on the ground, their bodies are found With a wing over here, and a wing over there The little birds die all through the night. SHHH! They’re ROTTING! The bright sun comes up, the skin falls away. “Good morning! It’s breakfast!” the little grubs say. Charming, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474/60 "2002-06-03T16:41:59Z")
On top of spaghetti All covered with cheese I lost my poor meatball When somebody sneezed. It rolled off the table And onto the floor And then my poor meatball Rolled out of the door. It rolled in the garden And under a bush By then my poor meatball Was nothing but mush. The mush was as tasty As tasty could be And early next summer It grew into a tree. The tree was all covered With beautiful moss And grew lovely meatballs In tomato sauce. So if you like spaghetti All covered with cheese Hold onto your meatball And don’t ever sneeze. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-any-silly-songs/111474.md?page=4)