# Know what really burns my ass? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 7, 2015, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213 "2015-08-07T04:25:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/1 "2015-08-07T04:25:23Z")
Manufacturers who put isopropyl alcohol and witch hazel in identical bottles. With lettering that requires my reading glasses. :eek::smack::mad: ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/2 "2015-08-07T04:31:45Z")
That has literally burned my ass. I have a bad reaction to Witch Hazel. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/3 "2015-08-07T04:31:55Z")
[Johnny Cash](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIBTg7q9oNc) ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/4 "2015-08-07T04:42:01Z")
A Weber grill? ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/5 "2015-08-07T04:59:58Z")
Don’t you mean ɿɘdɘW grill? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/6 "2015-08-07T05:09:50Z")
A flame about yay high. Re: the OP: Do the two fluids smell so similar that a sniff test is useless? Alternative approach: buy different brands of each (possibly the store brand of two different drugstore chains). ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/7 "2015-08-07T05:58:09Z")
That special kind of diarrhea that follows eating WAY too spicy a brand of chili. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/8 "2015-08-07T07:30:10Z")
Not getting it. Go and get your reading glasses, or do not apply an unknown liquid to your pink and puckered Nixon. Is that a question? ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/9 "2015-08-07T11:57:54Z")
Maybe you could use a sharpie to distinguish one from the other in the future. In the meanwhile, sorry about your ass! Sounds painful. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/10 "2015-08-07T12:55:13Z")
I’m not sure there’s a problem here. I’m pretty sure that you would only make that mistake…once. I have a hilarious mental image of the dance that ensues right after said mistake. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/11 "2015-08-07T13:29:18Z")
I’m curious why either would be close to one’s nether regions. I’ve never heard of that (but I admit to not having heard of lots of things). ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/12 "2015-08-07T13:41:58Z")
Witch Hazel? Heck, I wouldn’t know Witch Hazel even if she had her finger stuck up my ass. Was _that_ the problem? ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/13 "2015-08-07T14:05:20Z")
Get highlighters of different colors and put stripes on the bottle labels? ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/14 "2015-08-07T14:17:27Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > I’m curious why either would be close to one’s nether regions. I’ve never heard of that (but I admit to not having heard of lots of things). Witch hazel is a common astringent hemorrhoid relief medication. Which begs the question of who was the first guy to rub witch hazel on his anus and figure this out. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/15 "2015-08-07T14:27:20Z")
Aspirin? (especially if you’re a Scientologist) > [@](#): > > It would seem that the engram sees all, hears all, and registers everything, but sometimes it is incorrect. One auditor reported that a rash on the backside of his preclear – and it was not stated how the auditor found out about that rash – started when the preclear was in the womb and his mother frequently asked for an aspirin. The engram was said to have accidentally misrecorded this as “ass burn.”{ from Paulette Cooper _The Scandal of Scientology_ Chapter 3 [The Scandal of Scientology / Chapter 3: Life and Sex in the Womb](http://www.xenu.net/archive/books/tsos/sos-03.html) ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/16 "2015-08-07T14:59:03Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Witch hazel is a common astringent hemorrhoid relief medication. That’s a new one for me. Never heard that before. WebMD lists it as “_possibly effective_”, but the page on treatment of hemorrhoids does not mention witch hazel at all. I only occasionally use WH for insect bites when I can’t find the calahist (aka caladryl, or calamine/antihistamine) ointment nor the hydrocortisone ointment. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/17 "2015-08-07T15:05:44Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Witch hazel is a common astringent hemorrhoid relief medication. Which begs the question of who was the first guy to rub witch hazel on his anus and figure this out. _wince_ Maybe some guy who felt that he had nothing left to lose… might as well try this! ---
**Author:** ![davida03801](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@davida03801](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davida03801)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/18 "2015-08-07T15:32:21Z")
Have not seen Witch Hazel in years. My grandmother always had a bottle or two of that around. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/19 "2015-08-07T15:36:54Z")
Grabbing the Ben Gay instead of the Preparation H? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213/20 "2015-08-07T15:59:06Z")
I don’t want to know why someone might want to put either isopropyl alcohol OR witch hazel on their ass. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-what-really-burns-my-ass/727213.md?page=2)