# Know why it sucks to be civilized? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 28, 2006, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595 "2006-04-28T14:59:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/1 "2006-04-28T14:59:15Z")
Because there is no professional way to tell my coworker that she’s _smokin’ hot_ in those jeans she’s got on today. Nope. Probably not a good idea to do that. Now if we were all cave-dwellers…wooo… ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/2 "2006-04-28T15:34:32Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] Because there is no professional way to tell my coworker that she’s _smokin’ hot_ in those jeans she’s got on today. Nope. Probably not a good idea to do that. Now if we were all cave-dwellers…wooo… [/QUOTE] What are you talking about? If you’re tall and handsome, you could tell her perfectly straightforwardly. And even squeeze her ass as punctuation. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/3 "2006-04-28T15:40:46Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] Because there is no professional way to tell my coworker that she’s _smokin’ hot_ in those jeans she’s got on today. Nope. Probably not a good idea to do that. Now if we were all cave-dwellers…wooo… [/QUOTE] The civilized thing to do would be to get her attention, then slip off your wedding ring and give her a wink & the ol’ _come hither_ look. Chicks dig that kind of thing. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/4 "2006-04-28T15:41:23Z")
I thought it was going to be the pooping wherever you want thing. ---
**Author:** ![Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gut)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/5 "2006-04-28T21:30:54Z")
[QUOTE=tiny ham] I thought it was going to be the pooping wherever you want thing. [/QUOTE] Are you saying this is frowned upon? Ooops! ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/6 "2006-04-28T22:56:29Z")
[QUOTE=Gut] Are you saying this is frowned upon? Ooops! [/QUOTE] naw, it’s fine, as long as you keep your pinkies extended. ---
**Author:** ![Purl\_little\_me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/76d3ee/32.png) [@Purl\_little\_me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purl_little_me)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/7 "2006-04-28T22:58:04Z")
Just say, “I want to be professional and all, but what you do to those jeans is making me horny, so could you please remove them?” ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/8 "2006-04-28T23:46:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Know why it sucks to be civilized? Well, _some_ say— > [@](#): > > “Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.” > ~~ **Robert E. Howard** , The Tower of the Elephant (1933) Bring a great big battleaxe with you to work. See if she’s impressed. If she cooes “OOOOH! A Dwait bid _manly_ battleaxe! Can I…_feel_…it?” Then, you’re Golden. If not, they send for the SWAT Team & the Cookie Truck, & you make CNN. So, either way… ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/9 "2006-04-29T01:25:04Z")
I share this problem. However, it seems most of the time I notice how smokin’ hot a member of the female persuasion looks these days, it’s a woman born in a Spanish-speaking country and I can get their attention by the combination of (a) being obviously not Hispanic and (b) saying _anything_ in Spanish and then showing an ability to follow a Spanish conversation. This works really well. It’s so worth learning the language! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/10 "2006-04-29T01:55:53Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] I share this problem. However, it seems most of the time I notice how smokin’ hot a member of the female persuasion looks these days, it’s a woman born in a Spanish-speaking country and I can get their attention by the combination of (a) being obviously not Hispanic and (b) saying _anything_ in Spanish and then showing an ability to follow a Spanish conversation. This works really well. It’s so worth learning the language! [/QUOTE] A comparable plan is, indeed, one of my reasons for learning Japanese. 🙂 > [@Winston Smith](#): > > The civilized thing to do would be to get her attention, then slip off your wedding ring and give her a wink & the ol’ come hither look. Chicks dig that kind of thing. Well, excpt for the wedding-ring thing. Much better not to have one, like me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/11 "2006-04-29T21:34:05Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] I share this problem. However, it seems most of the time I notice how smokin’ hot a member of the female persuasion looks these days, it’s a woman born in a Spanish-speaking country and I can get their attention by the combination of (a) being obviously not Hispanic and (b) saying _anything_ in Spanish and then showing an ability to follow a Spanish conversation. This works really well. It’s so worth learning the language! [/QUOTE] Either you’re stalking my posts or this is a mighty coincedence. See, she is Mexican by birth and I started a post about learning Spanish, half-jesting the reason would be so I could get with her. Anyways, I took care of the OP situation in classic Inigo style. via e-mail. Went something like: “Would it be considered unprofessional if I were to tell you that **YOU LOOK DAMN FINE TODAY!!!** ” “Would that stop you?” “Probably not.” “Then go ahead.” “ **YOU LOOK DAMN FINE TODAY!!!** ” “Why thank you , sir.” 🆒 There’s only a few people in the world can get away with a stunt like that. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/12 "2006-04-29T23:45:17Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] Either you’re stalking my posts or this is a mighty coincedence. See, she is Mexican by birth and I started a post about learning Spanish, half-jesting the reason would be so I could get with her. Anyways, I took care of the OP situation in classic Inigo style. via e-mail. Went something like: “Would it be considered unprofessional if I were to tell you that **YOU LOOK DAMN FINE TODAY!!!** ” “Would that stop you?” “Probably not.” “Then go ahead.” “ **YOU LOOK DAMN FINE TODAY!!!** ” “Why thank you , sir.” 🆒 There’s only a few people in the world can get away with a stunt like that. [/QUOTE] Nice. Mighty coincidence, in fact. But send me an email if you want some help with your Spanish. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/13 "2006-04-30T00:41:00Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] The civilized thing to do would be to get her attention, then slip off your wedding ring and give her a wink & the ol’ _come hither_ look. Chicks dig that kind of thing. [/QUOTE] Naw, just sit there and lick your eyebrows. Works every time. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/14 "2006-04-30T00:47:55Z")
I’m reminded of the time at a previous job when they put [del]free CD players[/del] networked PCs in all the cubicles, and the woman who connected the cables was a curly headed blond in tight jeans (think Donna Douglas back in the golden age). For about fifteen minutes I and the guy next to me got to watch an attractive set of buttocks sticking out from under our desks. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/15 "2006-04-30T01:26:39Z")
“you make me wish I weren’t gay” sounds like it would get a fun response. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/16 "2006-04-30T06:27:40Z")
[QUOTE=Wesley Clark] “you make me wish I weren’t gay” sounds like it would get a fun response. [/QUOTE] Heh…from her or from me? I’ve wondered sometimes if she’s not a closeted lipstick lesbian. No matter. She’s still a lot of fun to be around. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/know-why-it-sucks-to-be-civilized/354595/17 "2006-04-30T07:54:30Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] Heh…from her or from me? I’ve wondered sometimes if she’s not a closeted lipstick lesbian. No matter. She’s still a lot of fun to be around. [/QUOTE] Pretend you’re gay and say it. Problem solved.