# Korean Grocery Poetry Jam **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 27, 2001, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379 "2001-08-27T19:46:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Magic-Gro\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e95f7d/32.png) [@Amazing\_Magic-Gro\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Magic-Gro_Monster)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/1 "2001-08-27T19:46:20Z")
On my corner there’s a little store. The stock is old, the selection poor. It says “You musts be wear shirt/shoe!” on the door. Little Korean grocery! Nothing past experation is ever withdrawn. The weirdest selection I’ve ever sawn Who buys cookies flavoured with prawn!? Funky Korean grocery! Lottery tickets and 40 oz. beers Spices and vegetables whick look pretty queer Friendly non-English speaking cashiers Mack-Daddy Korean Grocery! Take it …! ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/2 "2001-08-27T19:54:11Z")
Saffron, ginger and the smell of decay Ramen imported straight from Tei-Pei But I’m just too lazy to walk to Safeway Convenient Korean grocery ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/3 "2001-08-27T20:08:14Z")
There’s a food store on our street, Run by Korean folk. And they keep good things to eat But to me it is a joke! When you ask them anything They never answer “No.” They just “Yes” you to death, And as they take your dough, They tell you: YES! We have Gochugaru, We have Gochugaru today. We’ve Jinmi Ssamjang and Miso, And Bulkogi Yangnyum. And all kinds of soy and rice! We have an old fashioned Kanarit And fresh new Åimizuame And YES! We have Gochugaru, We have Gochugaru today. Business got so good with them, They wrote home to say: “Send me Fan and Wan and Kim, I need help right away.” When they got them in the store, There was fun, you bet! Someone asked for “Sparrow grass,” And the whole quartet All answered: YES! We have Gochugaru, We have Gochugaru today. We’ve Jinmi Ssamjang and Miso, And Bulkogi Yangnyum And all kinds of soy and rice! We have an old fashioned Kanarit And fresh new Åimizuame And YES! We have Gochugaru, We have Gochugaru today! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/4 "2001-08-28T17:14:35Z")
**Eve** are you related to Sel Siverstein? Excellent ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/5 "2001-08-28T17:28:49Z")
**Zebra** ’s clueless, it appears - That song’s been 'round for ninety years. **Eve** just boxed it on the ears. Song of Korean grocery! Kimchee’s all I know 'bout food; Them Koreans prob’ly think me rude! But I got internationalist attitude. Shop the Korean grocery! That cashier’s cute, just by the way - so if I’m ever there one day, “Komapsumnida!” I’ll say. Flirt at the Korean grocery! Dig it. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/6 "2001-08-28T18:01:27Z")
Hokay, how about something romantic, from “East Side Story?” Korea! I’ve just found a shop from Korea, And suddenly that food Is tempting, cheap and good To me. Korea! I’ve just tasted sauce from Korea, And suddenly white rice Tastes better with red spice Oh, gee! Korea: I just can’t eat enough of their nifties; Though my uncle fought there in the Fifties . . . Korea— I’ll never stop eating . . . Koreeeeaaaan! ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/7 "2001-08-28T18:44:20Z")
Jumped in the door to escape the rain Damned if I haven’t done it again! He don’t want me in if I ain’t payin’ “One Snickers, please”, Korean grocer. ---
**Author:** ![Pessor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Pessor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pessor)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/8 "2001-08-28T20:30:34Z")
Membership Free Short videos or long Cho ban do a dong Pornographic Korean Grocery ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/9 "2001-08-28T21:15:58Z")
Hot rice and gogi all topped with some kimchee, been sprouts and bean curd, mung bean and some lychee Strawberry pocky and various meats, **These are a few of my Korean treats!** Rice candy paper and good mango jelly, You’ll know it’s Chinese if it’s rotten and smelly, Stick to Korean and not chicken feets \*\* These are a few of my Korean treats!\*\* When it’s jampong that you’re craving and nothing else will do, you simply walk down to the Korean store and they’ll be happppeeeee to help you! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/10 "2001-08-28T21:27:37Z")
_San tokee Tokee ah O dider gon un ya Gon chun gon chun deem yun sa O dider gon un ya!_ [sub]with extreme apologies on the horrible phoenticization to anyone who actually speaks Korean [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![\_Gravity775](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/9de053/32.png) [@\_Gravity775](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Gravity775)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2001, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/11 "2001-09-14T19:12:49Z")
Oh would that I were so creative. My half Korean self is in heaven right now. I sat at my desk and read these and choked on coffee. Amazing. ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2001, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/12 "2001-09-14T19:40:00Z")
forgive the tangent, but: _points_ Hey look, one of my clones! So, how are good old 50 and 600 doing? 🙂 Ok, so I amused myself. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/13 "2001-09-14T20:00:27Z")
I liked it, Gravity (the first Gravity) I’d love more Korean grocery poetry. It makes me smile like you would not believe. More! More! Zette ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/14 "2001-09-14T20:36:28Z")
When I come home late you are open I can get a Snapple at 4am or seltzer for my dad. So here’s hopin’ Others will praise you as I am! Open all night Korean Grocery!! Korean Grocer You speak Korean, English, AND Spanish. Whatta guy! I admire your stock What are kumquats for again? Who cares! I’ll buy them! ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/15 "2001-09-14T22:16:06Z")
When I wants some _Seollungtang_ I walk down the street to Chang’s. And for a 30 pack of Miller beer, It’s only nineteen-fitty there! Check out the owner: God damn! That dude be lookin’ like Lo Pan, From Big Trouble in Little China, Wanna make your _jorim_ mine-ah. Buddha be on the shrine with the incense, People eatin’ _kimchee_ don’t make no sense! Lookin’ for _doinjang_ I spot two hotties, Yo, Lo Pan’s daughters got **bodies**! Hey Lo, thanks for the _kangjeong_. Health inspector gonna be here before long. That’s aight, you gots what I need, I’m goin’ back to the Ko-rean Grocery. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/16 "2001-09-14T23:15:11Z")
I’ve dated boys who made me eat that way So now I like lumpia with soy sauce-ay I’m such a rice queen - what can I say? Ex-boyfriend Korean Grocery To heck with the daughters - check out that son! If I ask him out, would he be the one? I’ll teach him the way us 'mericans have fun! Sexy Korean Grocery Unfortunately English he learned on the fly. If I asked him out would he reply, “For only five dolla’, me love you long time!”? Let-down Korean Grocery ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/17 "2001-09-15T01:41:54Z")
For anyonne out there who, like me, is ignorant of Korean Cuisine but familiar with children’s boardgame commercials jingles of the late 1960s: (To the tune of “Mystery Date” jingle) Mys-ter-y food are you ready for your mystery food? Open the door for your – myst-ry food! ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/18 "2001-09-15T01:44:52Z")
On second thought, the original lyrics go better with Esprix’s post. ---
**Author:** ![anyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19b73/32.png) [@anyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyi)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/19 "2001-09-15T02:12:23Z")
Canned bamboo for sale. “Fresh in spring sparkle water.” Expired in '90. Oh come on. _Someone_ had to do it. Get a nice Korean recipe [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39219&pagenumber=7). ---
**Author:** ![monitorlizzard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@monitorlizzard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monitorlizzard)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379/20 "2001-09-15T03:16:06Z")
Sung to the tune of… Along Came John Along came Kim, Along came Kim, Skipped out on the draft… came here on a raft… now he runs an all night grocery store. Along came Kim, Short yellow Kim, his country makes cheap cars… his movies don’t got stars… and he eats things we wouldn’t feed to our hogs. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/korean-grocery-poetry-jam/78379.md?page=2)