# Kraft--\*The\* American Cheese" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 17, 2009, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621 "2009-12-17T07:45:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2009, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/121 "2009-12-19T01:01:09Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Velveeta Forever! Thats works better as Viva Velveeta ! But I am with you until our backs are against the wall and we are the first to go 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2009, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/122 "2009-12-19T02:08:15Z")
**kittenblue** saved our butts. She posted the greatest recipe: 1 block Velveeta 1 small jar horseradish 1 jar of dry sherry a few dashes of Worchestershire sauce Combine all ingredients in a food processor until smooth. Refrigerate overnight. This stuff is crack. If you serve it at a party, you can demand kinky sex to reveal the recipe. ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2009, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/123 "2009-12-19T02:09:26Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > I don’t care if it rains or freezes, > long as I got my plastic cheeses > ridin’ on the dashboard of my car If you’re gouda, you get to go to havarti. Yeah, I’m not any better at puns than I am at rants. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2009, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/124 "2009-12-19T02:42:25Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > **kittenblue** saved our butts. She posted the greatest recipe: > > 1 block Velveeta > 1 small jar horseradish > 1 jar of dry sherry > a few dashes of Worchestershire sauce > > Combine all ingredients in a food processor until smooth. Refrigerate overnight. > > This stuff is crack. If you serve it at a party, you can demand kinky sex to reveal the recipe. When you say jar of Sherry, are you talking about the empty horseradish jar? ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2009, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/125 "2009-12-19T03:00:22Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > If you’re gouda, you get to go to havarti. > > Yeah, I’m not any better at puns than I am at rants. To brie, or not to brie. That is the question. Some famous character said that. Maybe it was Herman Muenster? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/126 "2009-12-19T05:21:02Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > When you say jar of Sherry, are you talking about the empty horseradish jar? Yeppers. Fucking awesome, it is. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2009, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/127 "2009-12-19T06:10:25Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > This brings us to an important question: why is [Emmental](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emmental_(cheese)) cheese always called Swiss in the US? There are hundreds of types of cheese unique to Switzerland (and Emmental is also produced in France and Germany). Then there’s Canadian bacon, which is known as back bacon in Canada. If you ask for Canadian bacon in a restaurant, you’ll probably get looked at funny (around here, anyway). **SteveG1** , that’s how I’m going to sing that song from now on. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/128 "2009-12-19T13:38:13Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > :smack: Forgot to add - for those who are fans of extruded food and want to extrude some yourselves, consider a [cookie press](http://www.amazon.com/Wilton-Cookie-Pro-Ultra-Press/dp/B000I4OJ1E/ref=pd_sbs_k_2). I have a lower-end model of this at home. Insert cookie dough into barrel, add a decorative extruder plate, and click away to get shaped cookies. Find the right consistency of cheese dip and you could probably decorate crackers with this. 😉 Or you could start with the Play-Do Fun Factory: make bars, make cars, crosses, and stars!🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/129 "2009-12-19T15:36:39Z")
Bearing witness to[The Power of Cheesus](http://rabidrenaissance.com/images/IcanfeelJeebus.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![jastrid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d07c76/32.png) [@jastrid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jastrid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/130 "2010-03-11T20:55:22Z")
Oh for pete’s sake. This whole damned country is irony impaired. I cannot believe you just wrote a whole post to complain about the “patriotism” of this commercial. It’s a damned parody of that kind of patriotism. You didn’t notice that? Notice the imbecilic sing-song cadence of the announcer’s voice. He is SUPPOSED to sound like a dimwit. Notice that when they are singing the praises of America, the representative American kid is shown with a piece of Kraft cheese STUCK TO HIS FACE. You missed the entire tone and point of the ad, dear. This is a parody of that type of nationalism. They KNOW they are selling “processed cheese food product,” and THEY ARE MAKING LIGHT OF THAT by parodying the nationalistic ads for other products. They are also laughing at stupid Americans who take the patriotic ad copy in this commercial seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/131 "2010-03-11T21:02:29Z")
CHEEEEEEEEEEZE… Errr…wait… BRAAAAAAAAAAAAINS… ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/132 "2010-03-11T21:05:37Z")
> [@jastrid](#): > > Oh for pete’s sake. This whole damned country is irony impaired. > > I cannot believe you just wrote a whole post to complain about the “patriotism” of this commercial. > > It’s a damned parody of that kind of patriotism. You didn’t notice that? > > Notice the imbecilic sing-song cadence of the announcer’s voice. He is SUPPOSED to sound like a dimwit. Notice that when they are singing the praises of America, the representative American kid is shown with a piece of Kraft cheese STUCK TO HIS FACE. > > You missed the entire tone and point of the ad, dear. This is a parody of that type of nationalism. They KNOW they are selling “processed cheese food product,” and THEY ARE MAKING LIGHT OF THAT by parodying the nationalistic ads for other products. > > They are also laughing at stupid Americans who take the patriotic ad copy in this commercial seriously. And I’m honored that your very first post on this board was in a stupid thread I started **nearly three months ago** (I didn’t “just” post this, not by a long shot). That’s just barely under the zombie threshold. If you’re a long-time lurker, that’s even better! Your very first post, and it’s all mine! Ha ha! I’m not sure you’re right, either. Sometimes, as with religion, it is difficult to distinguish parody from reality when it comes to patriotism. I think the problem with this board is stupid posters who don’t look at the thread-start date before weighing in on a topic that died a long time ago. Welcome to the boards. I’m sure you’ll fit in just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/133 "2010-03-11T21:39:31Z")
I’m surprised such a cheesy thread is back after 3 months. It was better off buried where we could forget it. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621/134 "2010-03-11T22:05:16Z")
No point in resurrecting this old thread now. Closed. **Gfactor** Pit Moderator [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/kraft-the-american-cheese/521621.md?page=6)