# Ladies: A f'd up hypothetical about your SO. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 9, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778 "2011-02-09T17:15:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/1 "2011-02-09T17:15:39Z")
What would you do if you came home one day (unexpectedly) to find your SO masturbating to a pair of your panties? (Hey, I told you it was a f’d up hypothetical. So don’t say I didn’t warn you. :D) Poll to follow. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/2 "2011-02-09T17:17:35Z")
You forgot the “need answer fast”. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/3 "2011-02-09T17:21:07Z")
Not the options I would have chosen. I think the continuum would me more like this: Freaked out - considering ending the relationship Squicked out - rather he not do that, but not a deal breaker Ambivalent - doesn’t really matter Turned on - Hey, baby! Other - after the thing with the marmoset, this bears some discussion ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/4 "2011-02-09T17:26:42Z")
I just don’t see why this is so strange. He likes the way I smell, my panties smell like me. Seems perfectly reasonable. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/5 "2011-02-09T17:38:22Z")
What’s this about a marmoset? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/6 "2011-02-09T18:38:29Z")
This may be why my wife never wears underwear. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/7 "2011-02-09T18:43:12Z")
That’s considered f’d up? Sheesh, that’s nothing. That’s not even the start of f’d up, at least not according to some of the stories I’ve heard. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/8 "2011-02-09T18:50:16Z")
My wife came home the other day and found me in the bedroom. She told me to take off her shirt, so I did. Then she told me to take off her skirt, so I did. Then she told me to take off her bra, her nylons and her panties, so I did. Then she told me she never wanted to catch me wearing her clothes again. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/9 "2011-02-09T18:55:02Z")
It was the day she came home and found you wearing the trousers, the way I heard it. 😛 _d&r_ ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/10 "2011-02-09T19:05:05Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Then she told me she never wanted to catch me wearing her clothes again. That’s wild. And a little bit crazy. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/11 "2011-02-09T19:14:56Z")
What’s the f’d up part- the panties or the masturbating? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/12 "2011-02-09T19:18:06Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > What’s the f’d up part- the panties or the masturbating? The marmoset. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/13 "2011-02-09T19:24:37Z")
Wait…is the SO masturbating into the panties or is the marmoset masturbating into the panties? Is the one who is not masturbating into the panties masturbating onto the one who is? This is all too confusing. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/14 "2011-02-09T19:52:11Z")
I’d tease him about it like I do about the titles of porn files I find. I think I’d be more weirded out if it was a pair of undies I’d never seen before. I’m kinda getting the giggles picturing someone masturbating while staring intently at some of my holey black cotton Hanes. Because you said masturbating _to_ not _with_ or _draped over face_. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/15 "2011-02-09T20:23:31Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > I’d tease him about it like I do about the titles of porn files I find. I think I’d be more weirded out if it was a pair of undies I’d never seen before. > > I’m kinda getting the giggles picturing someone masturbating while staring intently at some of my holey black cotton Hanes. Because you said masturbating _to_ not _with_ or _draped over face_. OK, fine. So you catch him sniffing them like he’s Dennis Hopper in “Blue Velvet” with the oxygen mask. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/16 "2011-02-09T20:33:00Z")
Its a compliment. The marmoset has good taste. ---
**Author:** ![Trubie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/71c47a/32.png) [@Trubie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trubie)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/17 "2011-02-09T20:52:27Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > Not the options I would have chosen. I think the continuum would me more like this: > > Freaked out - considering ending the relationship > > Squicked out - rather he not do that, but not a deal breaker > > Ambivalent - doesn’t really matter > > Turned on - Hey, baby! > > Other - after the thing with the marmoset, this bears some discussion I would be turned on. Sounds like my kind of foreplay. :o ---
**Author:** ![beartato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@beartato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beartato)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/18 "2011-02-09T20:59:04Z")
How is this f’d up? My panties are worn by me directly touching my girly bits and they are lacy and/or silky. That’s a phenomenally sensical thing to use as a masturbatory aid, is it not? I’d have no problem with my man doing it. ---
**Author:** ![flickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7bcc69/32.png) [@flickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickster)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/19 "2011-02-09T21:22:06Z")
Be happy that he’s not using the curtains? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778/20 "2011-02-09T21:26:30Z")
Eh, no big deal verging on compliment. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-fd-up-hypothetical-about-your-so/570778.md?page=2)