# Ladies, a guy asks if he can kiss you. Is it cute? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 28, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799 "2005-09-28T03:42:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/1 "2005-09-28T03:42:46Z")
Recently I was just told it was really cute when I asked a girl if I could kiss her. I just did it because, even though I was 110% sure she’d be more than fine with it, I’m super nervous and shy, and didn’t really know how to… approach the issue. So I asked. I’m more comfortable behind words anyway. So, for all you doper ladies, a guy asks if he can kiss you. Is it cute? Is it lame? Is it necessary to keep from having you issue a restraining order? What’s the dope? ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/2 "2005-09-28T03:47:09Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Recently I was just told it was really cute when I asked a girl if I could kiss her. > > I just did it because, even though I was 110% sure she’d be more than fine with it, I’m super nervous and shy, and didn’t really know how to… approach the issue. So I asked. I’m more comfortable behind words anyway. > > So, for all you doper ladies, a guy asks if he can kiss you. Is it cute? Is it lame? Is it necessary to keep from having you issue a restraining order? What’s the dope? It’s probably cute if they want you to kiss them, lame or creepy if they don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/3 "2005-09-28T03:54:37Z")
It’s cute. If they’re cute. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/4 "2005-09-28T04:20:35Z")
> [@Hugh Jass](#): > > It’s probably cute if they want you to kiss them, lame or creepy if they don’t. Basically, yes. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@The\_Hook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hook)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/5 "2005-09-28T04:22:04Z")
Um, no. Nothing is actually cute by itself. If the lady likes you and finds you cute, then most everything you’ll do she will also find cute and likable (for a time, at least). Like when a puppy is happy to see you and tries to jump on you to slobber all over. Now you do that. Try it on a girl if you can. Nope, not cute. I’m not a woman, but I **am** a fountain of knowledge. Don’t just take my word for it: you have to pay for it, too. ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/6 "2005-09-28T04:31:21Z")
I’ve done it in the past as well, for much the same reason, I was (am) very shy. Even though in every case I was pretty sure it would eventually be a non-issue, and did end up kissing the girl, I was informed unanimously afterward that it comes across not as a cute affectation, but a showing of insecurity and a lack of confidence… which very few girls find attractive. ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/7 "2005-09-28T05:07:58Z")
I’ve discussed the issue with women and the consensus among a few college girls that had been around the block a few times: no, not cute. Others that were more demure were neutral or positive towards it. So, it depends on the woman. Possibly by their own experience level. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/8 "2005-09-28T05:14:24Z")
In the way you describe, cute. It sounds as if you were already in some sort of almost relationship with this girl. In the beginning phases, everything is cute. From a stranger trying to make a move, not so cute. It just very much depends upon the person doing the asking, and the circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/9 "2005-09-28T07:18:02Z")
I wouldn’t think it was “cute,” but I’d think it was considerate, thoughtful and respectful, which is much more important than cute. ---
**Author:** ![SleepyDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@SleepyDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SleepyDuck)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/10 "2005-09-28T07:43:19Z")
Sorry, OP, not a lady, but – NO. If this wasn’t the first thing I learned about women, it is definitely numbered in the single digits. Definitely NO. NO. [smacks OP with a rolled up newspaper] NO. _and I was shy and insecure myself once upon a time_ Did I mention NO ? good Og, just look at the Google™ Ads this has spawned. NO ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/11 "2005-09-28T08:10:11Z")
> [@SleepyDuck](#): > > Sorry, OP, not a lady, but – NO. > > If this wasn’t the first thing I learned about women, it is definitely numbered in the single digits. Definitely NO. > > NO. > > [smacks OP with a rolled up newspaper] > > NO. > > _and I was shy and insecure myself once upon a time_ > > Did I mention NO ? > > good Og, just look at the Google™ Ads this has spawned. > > NO HA! [Grabs newspaper from **SleepyDuck** and continues to beat the shit out of the op] Sorry, I couldn’t resisit. If you’re THAT intimidated by making the first move; I think one of the things I used to do as a teenager was: When I went to hug them (for whatever reason) I’d kiss them on their neck right below the ear. There usually thends to be a “sweetspot” in there for most ladies. This will usually set them into a frenzy, where after that, you don’t HAVE to worry about making the fist move, SHE will. If you can find the “sweetspot” that is. [disclaimer: The “sweetsopt” may be a myth. That’s just the impression I get from ladies who have been responsive to that. I’m hoping that some ladies will chime in to confirm my theory.] ---
**Author:** ![Pixisis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@Pixisis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixisis)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/12 "2005-09-28T08:29:54Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > [disclaimer: The “sweetsopt” may be a myth. That’s just the impression I get from ladies who have been responsive to that. I’m hoping that some ladies will chime in to confirm my theory.] can’t speak for anyone else, but it is for me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/13 "2005-09-28T12:07:02Z")
Well, that’s how my husband asked me. With him, it was cute, but only because he’s not in the slightest bit insecure, but knew that I don’t like guys just kissing me, and in his opinion he had waited too long for me to make the fist move. So he asked if he could, which is fine, and to me was preferable to beng kissed out of the blue. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/14 "2005-09-28T12:12:14Z")
This question, like so many other woman-related questions, simply cannot be answered. If she likes you, asking this question would confirm how lovely and adorable and cute you are. If she doesn’t like you, asking this question would confirm what a sad loser you are. There’s really no way around it. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/15 "2005-09-28T13:25:26Z")
In my personal opinion, most guys can not pull this off. It comes off as lame. Although there was one guy who asked and it was kind of cute. I’m not sure why he could pull it off. ---
**Author:** ![Girlbysea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Girlbysea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlbysea)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/16 "2005-09-28T13:46:39Z")
Cute!!! It’s romantic as hell!!!.. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/17 "2005-09-28T13:51:23Z")
Man, the repetition of the word “cute” is doing wacky shit to the Google ads. As everyone has said, depends on the guy, depends on the moment. I’ve been charmed by it, and I’ve been :dubious: by it. Let’s not forget the variant, “Can I give you a hug?,” which is okay – nah, actually kind of nice – for a first meeting/coffee date that went well. Sometimes a peck on the cheek gets added to that, by one person or both. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/18 "2005-09-28T14:03:10Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Recently I was just told it was really cute when I asked a girl if I could kiss her. > > I just did it because, even though I was 110% sure she’d be more than fine with it, I’m super nervous and shy, and didn’t really know how to… approach the issue. So I asked. I’m more comfortable behind words anyway. > > So, for all you doper ladies, a guy asks if he can kiss you. Is it cute? Is it lame? Is it necessary to keep from having you issue a restraining order? What’s the dope? Holy shit, you’re a guy??? :eek: Oh my dear Og. I have thought you were a girl all this time. I am really glad I get to meet you next month. In regards to your question, it depends on the girl…I tend to put out a casual, laid-back air, which has made guys uncertain sometimes. So I’ve been asked, and it was cute, but not everyone might feel the same way. ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/19 "2005-09-28T14:17:22Z")
Guy here. I agree with the its cute if the guy is cute crowd. Creepy if the guy isn’t. Yesterday I heard how this wierdo acquantaince of mine said to a girl he had barely met: “I’ll go wherever you want to go”. Very silly no ? Now if it were Brad Pitt like guy saying it… I bet the girl would have melted. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799/20 "2005-09-28T14:24:01Z")
Best first kiss I ever had was preceeded by that question. However, the attitude and intention behind it was one of him demonstrating he respected me, and he wasn’t just assuming he could have “access” to me. It wasn’t a plea by any means. It was very sweet. And HOT. (Please please please, if you ask the question and the girl says yes, don’t jam your tongue down her throat. The tongue jackhammer undues all good feeling created by the question.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-asks-if-he-can-kiss-you-is-it-cute/323799.md?page=2)