# Ladies... a guy unexpectedly gives you his name/number.... flattering? or creepy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 30, 2011, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-unexpectedly-gives-you-his-name-number-flattering-or-creepy/580263 "2011-04-30T05:20:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-unexpectedly-gives-you-his-name-number-flattering-or-creepy/580263/81 "2011-05-06T23:03:34Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Actually my answer to “flattering or creepy?” would be it depends on how hot he is. There have been hot guys who’ve made eyes at me and I’ve returned them who simply left or got distracted etc. It would have been super hot if he left me his number but they never got the courage. > > But if a weirdo or ugly or even mediocre-looking guy did this, I’d run for the hills. Like so many things, it depends on who it’s coming from. > > This has happened to me twice: once with a weird unattractive guy (and I was creeped out) and once with an okay looking guy (and I was “hmm, not bad”) on it. Both reactions were entirely based on how they looked. So did you call the okay guy? As a male, I have done this every so often, because I am risking NOTHING… So when I knew I wasn’t going to have the guts, time, was too in awe of beauty, etc, I would do it. It has worked once. I was an extremely good looking guy in my twenties, and it wouldn’t have worked otherwise, I bet… These days, I wouldn’t want to go out with the type of person who would return the call if we hadn’t spoken… But I am taken anyway. Hooray for the intertubes! ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-unexpectedly-gives-you-his-name-number-flattering-or-creepy/580263/82 "2011-05-07T19:27:04Z")
> [@gurujulp](#): > > So did you call the okay guy? Actually I was in a relationship so no. Even if I weren’t in a relationship however, he wasn’t good looking enough to warrant a call. I was still flattered. But it’s simply untrue to say “it’s creepy across the board”! People may have different reasons for this, but the reason I most suspect is that it’s never happened to them before and they’re either 1) jealous or 2) simply unaware of how they’d react. When the guy is good looking (and not a douchebag, if you’ve been watching him for awhile) it’s flattering. It’s only creepy when it’s unwarranted or he’s quite bad looking. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-unexpectedly-gives-you-his-name-number-flattering-or-creepy/580263/83 "2011-05-07T22:30:04Z")
> [@](#): > > People may have different reasons for this, but the reason I most suspect is that it’s never happened to them before and they’re either 1) jealous or 2) simply unaware of how they’d react. > > When the guy is good looking (and not a douchebag, if you’ve been watching him for awhile) it’s flattering. It’s only creepy when it’s unwarranted or he’s quite bad looking. Actually, I HAVE had this happen to me, and by guys that I had previously considered to be quite good looking. I found it to be creepy and arrogant, each time. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-unexpectedly-gives-you-his-name-number-flattering-or-creepy/580263/84 "2011-05-08T17:37:43Z")
Yeah, I’m not sure why anyone would think I’m jealous over something like that. Different value systems, I guess; I expect to be treated/valued as a multi-faceted human being, not as a body and nothing else. I suspect that the “it depends on how hot they are” crowd is too inexperienced to recognize the big fat red flag that it is. Once you’ve had to deal with someone who doesn’t respect you, you realize that it _really_ doesn’t matter how hot-looking they are. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-unexpectedly-gives-you-his-name-number-flattering-or-creepy/580263/85 "2011-05-08T19:39:42Z")
‘Creepy’ can be deliberately-uncaring, seeing the other as only a means to an end, but I wonder how many ‘creeps’ are actually socially unknowing? > [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > The boyfriend before the Current Beau was mid 40s… had a grand total of 2 girlfriends in his life, (I was the second) and the previous relationship had ended 10 years earlier… > [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > What are the things you had to teach him? > [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > Well… > > Reading this, I am seeing it is socially clueless not just the relationship things… **MLS** , your former boyfriend sounds scarily like me. I think I now understand why my last girlfriend broke up with me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-a-guy-unexpectedly-gives-you-his-name-number-flattering-or-creepy/580263.md?page=4)