# Ladies: Am I good in bed? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 12, 2008, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079 "2008-03-12T04:24:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/1 "2008-03-12T04:24:44Z")
Ok, of course that can’t be definitively answered unless you’ve actually slept with me, but perhaps the answer can be determined to a meaningful degree through discussion. I _think_ I’m good in bed, but every guy thinks he’s good in bed… And the ladies I have slept with say I’m good in bed, but I think most women will tell their man what they think he wants to hear so as to save that fragile male ego… So, let’s have it. Am I good in bed? ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/2 "2008-03-12T04:48:42Z")
You don’t point your toes enough, actually. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/3 "2008-03-12T04:55:37Z")
My wife’s answer would be “do you steal the covers?” ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/4 "2008-03-12T05:01:16Z")
With that amount of detail, how could we possibly know? We need details, man! 😛 Oh, and without TMI please. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/5 "2008-03-12T05:12:25Z")
If they tell you you’re good in bed spontaneously, without you asking, then you’re good. If they tell you’re good after you’ve asked, then they’re just saying it to spare your feelings. You’re not. ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/6 "2008-03-12T05:37:09Z")
[QUOTE=Heffalump and Roo] With that amount of detail, how could we possibly know? We need details, man! 😛 Oh, and without TMI please. [/QUOTE] Ok, let’s see. Every woman is different so I figure out what they like and don’t like. The best way to do this is to, you know, ask them. Some women are reluctant to be clear on this so I also rely on body language and the “vibe” in the air, if that makes any sense. It seems that if you pay attention you can sense everything and not much actually needs to be discussed, at times. Anyway, I do whatever they like and what ever they want and I do it with (pun alert) passion as I genuinely love it all. My favorite thing is to drive women crazy in the brain. If her orgasm is imminent and I know that I could make her come within, say, the next minute, I like to slow down and draw it out for a few more minutes. Playing with that threshold seems to make a woman’s brain melt. That’s fun. Sometimes a woman likes to get shagged senseless. No problem. Sometimes a woman likes slow, tender stuff. No problem. Sometimes a woman says, “You know what? I don’t know why but I don’t think I can come right now.” No problem. My turn then. Sometimes a woman likes to cuddle and watch a movie and eat popcorn. No problem, I like that too. Sometimes a woman like to bitch about her boss for two hours. No problem. Sometimes a woman is self-conscious about her body and then I tell her that she is a beautiful, hot, sex-kitten, which she is, and that is why I want to jump her bones so bad and worship her from head to toe. Hell, I dunno. What else do you want to know? ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/7 "2008-03-12T05:39:09Z")
[QUOTE=Alice The Goon] If they tell you you’re good in bed spontaneously, without you asking, then you’re good. If they tell you’re good after you’ve asked, then they’re just saying it to spare your feelings. You’re not. [/QUOTE] _grabs pen_ Good stuff, good stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Buckler\_of\_Swashing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Buckler\_of\_Swashing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buckler_of_Swashing)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/8 "2008-03-12T05:39:56Z")
[QUOTE=Shamozzle] Ok, let’s see. Every woman is different so I figure out what they like and don’t like. The best way to do this is to, you know, ask them. Some women are reluctant to be clear on this so I also rely on body language and the “vibe” in the air, if that makes any sense. It seems that if you pay attention you can sense everything and not much actually needs to be discussed, at times. Anyway, I do whatever they like and what ever they want and I do it with (pun alert) passion as I genuinely love it all. My favorite thing is to drive women crazy in the brain. If her orgasm is imminent and I know that I could make her come within, say, the next minute, I like to slow down and draw it out for a few more minutes. Playing with that threshold seems to make a woman’s brain melt. That’s fun. Sometimes a woman likes to get shagged senseless. No problem. Sometimes a woman likes slow, tender stuff. No problem. Sometimes a woman says, “You know what? I don’t know why but I don’t think I can come right now.” No problem. My turn then. Sometimes a woman likes to cuddle and watch a movie and eat popcorn. No problem, I like that too. Sometimes a woman like to bitch about her boss for two hours. No problem. Sometimes a woman is self-conscious about her body and then I tell her that she is a beautiful, hot, sex-kitten, which she is, and that is why I want to jump her bones so bad and worship her from head to toe. Hell, I dunno. What else do you want to know? [/QUOTE] Can I keep you? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/9 "2008-03-12T05:41:56Z")
Keep you? I’ll settle for just borrowing you for a few hours. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/10 "2008-03-12T06:01:33Z")
[QUOTE=Alice The Goon] Keep you? I’ll settle for just borrowing you for a few hours. [/QUOTE] To bitch about your boss? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Universe_Lashes_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/11 "2008-03-12T06:02:10Z")
[QUOTE=Shamozzle] And the ladies I have slept with say I’m good in bed, but I think most women will tell their man what they think he wants to hear so as to save that fragile male ego… [/QUOTE] It depends on HOW they tell you you’re good in bed. If you ask them, “am I good in bed?” and they say “sure” - you may not be such hot stuff. If she turns to you unprompted with a dazed look in her eyes and says “how do you DO that?” then you probably are pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/12 "2008-03-12T06:05:39Z")
[QUOTE=HowieReynolds] It depends on HOW they tell you you’re good in bed. If you ask them, “am I good in bed?” and they say “sure” - you may not be such hot stuff. If she turns to you unprompted with a dazed look in her eyes and says “how do you DO that?” then you probably are pretty good. [/QUOTE] Hey! That has happened! I swear that’s happened. Feeling pretty good about myself at the moment… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/13 "2008-03-12T06:08:02Z")
[QUOTE=Buckler of Swashing] Can I keep you? [/QUOTE] Sure, what the hell. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/14 "2008-03-12T06:22:22Z")
Well, you’re sounding pretty good so far. So about this slow and tender stuff, is that minutes of slow or hours of slow? And what happens when you want something different than she wants at that moment? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/15 "2008-03-12T06:54:44Z")
For me, if I fall back in an utter daze, near exhausted and exclaim “HOLY FUCK!” that usually means you’re on to something. And if you’re game in whatever department (like all those you’ve listed plus some roughness and domination – on both sides, as well as the whole ‘vulnerable’ business), then I’d certainly sign up for a go. Also, I believe a completely trust worthy sign is if she turns around and jumps your bones before you’ve even had time to catch your breath. Those have been the ones I’ve wanted to keep as sex slaves. Excuse me. I’ll be in my bunk now. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/16 "2008-03-12T07:04:21Z")
I’d say you were ok. I admired your passion but the monkey suit just didn’t do anything for me. ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/17 "2008-03-12T07:11:25Z")
[QUOTE=Heffalump and Roo] Well, you’re sounding pretty good so far. So about this slow and tender stuff, is that minutes of slow or hours of slow? And what happens when you want something different than she wants at that moment? [/QUOTE] Sometimes it’s minutes, sometimes it’s a lot longer. Whatever we’re into at the moment. I don’t know about hours and hours. If she wanted it, sure, but usually it escalates. We’ve been in bed for hours, but half of that is genuine lovemaking of assorted varieties and half of that is tickle fights, laughs and conversation. Is “lovemaking” a cheesy word? If I want something different than she does at any given moment, it’s all about her. I’m very easy to satisfy and I’m in no rush. I know I’ll get my mind blown in the end so the order doesn’t really matter to me. ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/18 "2008-03-12T07:13:03Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] I’d say you were ok. I admired your passion but the monkey suit just didn’t do anything for me. [/QUOTE] Come on, it was Halloween. And you were the one who suggested we eat those mushrooms. ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/19 "2008-03-12T07:20:42Z")
[QUOTE=faithfool] …SNIP(like all those you’ve listed plus some roughness and domination – on both sides, as well as the whole ‘vulnerable’ business), then I’d certainly sign up for a go.SNIP… [/QUOTE] That reminds me, the whole roughness thing. The first time I was with my ex-girlfriend she shoved me violently onto the bed, jumped on top of me, and pulled my shirt up over my face like a hockey player (ever seen hockey players fight?) and started biting my face through my shirt. I was like, “Hot Damn!!” ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079/20 "2008-03-12T07:38:23Z")
If you need to ask, I’d say there’s a reason for it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-am-i-good-in-bed/441079.md?page=2)