# Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of all Ages, it's the SDMB Circus **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2004, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176 "2004-05-26T14:14:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/1 "2004-05-26T14:14:24Z")
What act will you sign up to do and what act do you not want to do. Me, I’d like to be a trapeze artist. I’m afraid of heights so that may be a problem. There are two acts I wouldn’t do. Clown (obviously, although the idea of traumatizing children has a certain appeal) Drive the motorcycle in that steel ball. Man I’d be puking in seconds. Who want’s to run away and join the circus? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/2 "2004-05-26T14:29:18Z")
Oooh, can I be whip-cracking circus owner Joan Crawford in [Berserk](http://www.lynnpdesign.com/classicmovies/crawford/berserk.html)? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/3 "2004-05-26T14:33:36Z")
Ooooooh…I love “Berserk.” Circus gig, huh? Maybe a magician’s assistant. Do circuses have them? I’ve never been to one (big prob with the cruelty to animals thing…). I could be sawed in half, or disappear (hang out under the stage smoking a doobie or something, I’m sure). Or I could be the person who stuffs doves into the sleeves of the magician before the show. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/4 "2004-05-26T15:17:15Z")
Dibs on the poodle act! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/5 "2004-05-26T15:27:58Z")
**MPSIMS** has a big top just begging for this thread. I’ll move it on over. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/6 "2004-05-26T15:35:27Z")
I’ll join up as another trapeze artist. Been there, done the knee hang (hock style), got the photo to prove it! My brothers and I were at Club Med, they had a trapeze rig, and the guests who got their tricks down were invited to join the trapeze show. My next year there, I went into the show. Nothing’s quite as good on a fear of heights or of falling as the adrenaline rush of a well-done trapeze trick. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/7 "2004-05-26T15:42:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Drive the motorcycle in that steel ball. Man I’d be puking in seconds. Sounds like fun – I’ll do it. ---
**Author:** ![Anduin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Anduin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anduin)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/8 "2004-05-26T16:46:30Z")
Oh! Oh! I wanna be the magician! I’ll be like a cool new magician, cirque de soleil style, not one of those old style ones. (On the side, I’ll be one of the people who makes sure that the animals are treated well.) I don’t want to sell popcorn, or be a clown (too much makeup! 😛 ) ---
**Author:** ![Frank\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Frank\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank_2)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/9 "2004-05-26T17:15:16Z")
Juggling is my specialty. Clubs, fire, bills, jobs, schedules, rapid bunnies, you name it. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/10 "2004-05-26T17:57:35Z")
Sure, I’m game! Lesse…ok, I’ll be the guy who uses a Hilti gun to nail barbed wire to his genitals, ties the barbed wire to a couple of bowling balls, and smacks them up and down like a set of Kerbangers, 'k? I mean, unless someone else already called dibs on that one. What? Oh, wait…wrong [circus](http://www.jimrosecircus.com/). ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/11 "2004-05-26T17:57:56Z")
I wanna be billed as The World’s Tallet Midget or The World’s Smallest Giant. As a versitile performer, I feel up to either role. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/12 "2004-05-26T18:18:52Z")
Since the magician job is already taken, I’ll be the mentalist. “Swami Balance sees All, knows All, and tells A Damnsight More!” ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/13 "2004-05-26T18:47:23Z")
I would like to do a highwire act. Ironic, as I have a fear of being suspended in air. Or one of those amazingly limber acrobats. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/14 "2004-05-26T19:08:37Z")
This thread needs [that clown music.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=254541) ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/15 "2004-05-26T19:24:33Z")
I want to ride a unicycle on the high wire. with no net below, it’s all about the risks, baby. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/16 "2004-05-26T19:37:35Z")
I’m qualified to operate a pushbroom, so I guess I get to follow the elephants around. Or would I need a snowshovel for that? ---
**Author:** ![Reloy3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c68b51/32.png) [@Reloy3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reloy3)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/17 "2004-05-26T20:39:17Z")
Oooo, over here. I can do rope tricks, maybe even on a horse (never tried an elephant). ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/18 "2004-05-27T13:34:01Z")
I’d also like to be the knife thrower. Are there any lady dopers who are willing to wear a heavily sequined, yet very revealing leotard and let me thrown knives at them? ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/19 "2004-05-27T21:02:41Z")
m[SIZE=4][sup]U[/sup][FONT=Arial Narrow]Ladies and Gentlemen - children of all ages… The incredible **meek the Human Cannonball** will now attempt to be shot out of a cannon - risking life and limb… all for your amusement… _Drum roll_ +[sup]4444444444446[/sup]í" h S é[/FONT][/SIZE][sup] \< happy now?[/sup] . ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176/20 "2004-05-28T00:06:54Z")
Give me the lions, tigers, and other large kitties. Play something nice by Mozart or Strauss, and let us fulfill one another in the dance. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-children-of-all-ages-its-the-sdmb-circus/247176.md?page=2)