# Ladies and Gentlemen, the Apocalypse will begin in 30 minutes. NOW WHAT? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 1, 2001, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953 "2001-11-01T18:07:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Vinnie\_Virginslayer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/53a042/32.png) [@Vinnie\_Virginslayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinnie_Virginslayer)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/1 "2001-11-01T18:07:28Z")
The image of this suggested CNN signoff as described in this article gave me the chills: [http://www.nydailynews.com/2001-11-01/News\_and\_Views/Daily\_Dish/a-130550.asp](http://www.nydailynews.com/2001-11-01/News_and_Views/Daily_Dish/a-130550.asp) Let’s say you are at work, and the announcement comes over the radio: Russia and the United States have exchanged nuclear missles, we expect they will strike in 30 minutes. Of course, you are sitting at ground zero. There is ZERO chance you will survive or drive far enough away in time. You are away from your family, and the phone lines of course are all tied up, so there goes that idea for spending the last 30 minutes of your existence. How do you react? My wife says she would have sex with everyone she could get her hands on. Personally, I’d find it kind of hard to get it up under those stressful circumstances. I’d head for the nearest drinking establishment, and drink myself into oblivion, though I’m not sure I could do that in 1/2 an hour. What would you do? Oh, have anice day, everyone! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/2 "2001-11-01T18:15:10Z")
I pray fiercely for twenty minutes, and spend the final ten trying to help others. There’ll be chaos and widespread hysteria. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/3 "2001-11-01T18:21:44Z")
I’d still try to get to my daughter. I may die in the attempt, but I’m still going to try. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/4 "2001-11-01T18:38:19Z")
“I’d pour me a double and watch da whole thing from da back porch.” – Robert Armstrong ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/5 "2001-11-01T19:59:27Z")
Sex with Catherine Zeta Jones followed by downing a vast quantity of Lagavulin whisky - kind of ironic, given that it’s the elixir of life. Of course, the above might not be possible. Some stores around here don’t stock as much Lagavulin as they should. ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/6 "2001-11-01T20:09:44Z")
I think I would just sit quietly and pray. I might try to call my mom and a few others to say good-bye. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/7 "2001-11-01T20:11:36Z")
If I’m with my family and have access to my car, I’d pile everyone in and do MACH 6 to get out of the blast radius. If not, I boink every female I can get my filthy mitts on. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/8 "2001-11-01T20:13:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vinnie Virginslayer \* > \*\* > > My wife says she would have sex with everyone she could get her hands on. Personally, I’d find it kind of hard to get it up under those stressful circumstances. > \*\* Me? I’d find your wife. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/9 "2001-11-01T20:19:35Z")
If it happens during the workday, my wife and I work in the same complex. I can be at her desk in about 5 minutes, and I can spend the remaining 25 minutes holding her, telling her how much I love her, and how much more wonderful the past 13 years have been because of her. If it happens any other time, then I get an extra five minutes with her. Sex? Nah. The end of the world isn’t gonna make either of us feel like having sex. Just being held. ---
**Author:** ![LiquidLobotomy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/898d66/32.png) [@LiquidLobotomy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiquidLobotomy)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/10 "2001-11-01T20:24:51Z")
That’s a tough one. I would probably order the most expensive meal I could (assuming they were serving) and then go to the top of my building and watch the impact knowing there was little I could do that would change anything. I might bang anything that moved as well… Most likely I can see myself running around like a rat in a trap trying to find a way out. - you certainly know how to cheer a guy up… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/11 "2001-11-01T20:31:10Z")
Straighten my seams, fix my lipstick, and head over to West 44th Street, where I can go in style, having a nice civilized cup of tea at the Algonquin. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/12 "2001-11-01T20:40:51Z")
I would take my cigarettes, a Dr. Pepper and my cell phone and go to the roof of my work building. I would keep trying to call my SO and would keep trying to call my sitter so I could talk to my kids. I would chain smoke my cigarettes and sip my Dr. Pepper and be secure in the fact that my family knows I love them. I guess I’d just have to kick back and watch the fireworks and make my peace. What a depressing thing to have to think about! ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/13 "2001-11-01T20:44:56Z")
Seeing as I go to Texas A&M, It’s highly doubtful the Russians have a Nuke aimed at us. There’s still a chance, however, so me and my buddies in my Cadet Unit will probaly have a prayer session, I’d then probaly go up on the roof of my dorm and enjoy the sights before it ends. Probaly do a far bit of crying myself. ---
**Author:** ![Qis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Qis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qis)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/14 "2001-11-01T20:53:16Z")
Get hammered! or die trying! sweet… huge amounts of drinking and no hangover! adn no-one’ll laugh at me teh morning after! coolio! or cry ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/15 "2001-11-01T20:54:00Z")
**Eve** is right. If it’s going to end, make it end on your terms, with dignity and a refusal to bow. I’d head straight to the restaurant downstairs and demand they bring me prime rib and the finest wine in the place and I’d enjoy it until the end came. It’s sort of unfair to make “no family” part of the question, though, because my preferred solution would be to have Mrs. RickJay and I both eating prime rib and drinking fine wine. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/16 "2001-11-01T20:55:17Z")
\*Originally posted by plnnr \* > [@](#): > > I’d still try to get to my daughter. I may die in the attempt, but I’m still going to try. Ditto. She and my wife and I would have a long group hug, tell each other how much we love each other and talk about the happy times. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/17 "2001-11-01T21:40:36Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by RickJay \* > [BI’d head straight to the restaurant downstairs and demand they bring me prime rib and the finest wine in the place and I’d enjoy it until the end came._\* “…I hope you like it rare, sir.” ---
**Author:** ![Mythos45](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/848f3c/32.png) [@Mythos45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mythos45)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/18 "2001-11-01T22:15:26Z")
Well, if I were somehow aware that escape was completely, 100% impossible, I’d hop in the Jeep and take the back roads to my ex-girlfriend’s house (about 10-15 minutes away, depending on whether I drive normally or just blast), tell her how I still feel about her, and cuddle till oblivion. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/19 "2001-11-01T22:22:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by RickJay \* > > [BI’d head straight to the restaurant downstairs and demand they bring me prime rib and the finest wine in the place and I’d enjoy it until the end came._\* > > “…I hope you like it rare, sir.” \*\* It’ll be extra well done soon enough. ---
**Author:** ![ReverendK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@ReverendK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReverendK)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953/20 "2001-11-01T22:22:14Z")
Get my glove and find someone to play catch with. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-apocalypse-will-begin-in-30-minutes-now-what/90953.md?page=2)