# Ladies, and men...a question... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 3, 2008, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441 "2008-12-03T01:59:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/21 "2008-12-03T05:30:30Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > Chessic, I’m sorry, but that sounds crazy! I have a lot of guy friends and they always face each other when they talk. They actually…easy, now…make eye contact! I cannot picture two guys standing side by side, not facing each other while having a conversation. My best friend (a guy) actually used to give ME a hard time for not making eye contact. I continue to work on it to this day. Anyway, maybe your friends talk like this, but none of the guys I know do. Well standing is different. I’m more talking about sitting. If you’re standing, you definitely face the other guy. I doubt, though, that most guys look each other in the eye when talking, regardless of placement. And it’s not just me saying this. Deborah Tannen agrees. Can’t find the cite since it’s in her (copywritten) book but she’s the one that I lifted it from. Google her and you’re sure to come across these ideas more. ---
**Author:** ![Rosie\_is\_Tired](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Rosie\_is\_Tired](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosie_is_Tired)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/22 "2008-12-03T05:34:47Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > Hell I shout it from the mountain tops. Guys with big ones HURT damnit! And oral sex is a painful chore of jaw pain and fatigue… Gah!!! Give me normal and avereage any day of the week and keep the “bigguns” far, far, far from me. i’ve always been boggled by the whole penis one-upsmanship since having spent years in the dressing rooms of strip clubs and having this type of conversation… most women in my experience like average. Not small, no, but NOT big either. Small is unsatisfying but doable. Average is nice. Big is HURT HURT PAIN STOP OW GO AWAY AAAAAHHHHHH and generally awful in every way. > > YMMV. Even though I know this is a bit off topic…I am female, and I too complain about too large. Waay too painful, that. Takes all the fun out of it. Oh, and about boobs. They’re very visible, you see. Even if you have perfect boobs, you feel self conscious because people notice said perfect boobs. If you have very large boobs, well, I feel very sorry for you. …I like having my Bs on the small side, though for some outfits it’d be nice to have something that could be called cleavage. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/23 "2008-12-03T05:45:43Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Well standing is different. I’m more talking about sitting. If you’re standing, you definitely face the other guy. I doubt, though, that most guys look each other in the eye when talking, regardless of placement. And it’s not just me saying this. Deborah Tannen agrees. Can’t find the cite since it’s in her (copywritten) book but she’s the one that I lifted it from. > > Google her and you’re sure to come across these ideas more. Sorry, but I think Deborah Tannen is a douche bag! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/24 "2008-12-03T05:48:33Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > I forgot about the bras - $40 and up, and they still probably won’t fit right. And not cute. Not ever cute. At this point I don’t care much about cute - I want (and need) functional. Comfortable would be a bonus, but I don’t really expect it any longer. I haven’t paid less than $80 for a bra in years. But, I’ve been fortunate enough to find a local shop with a woman that absolutely loves boobs more than I do, and loves making sure every person that walks into her store walks out with a perfect and comfortable fit. She mostly carries the Rosa Faia line by [Anita](http://www.anita.com/us/en/149,1,0,0 __products-main.htm?ovs__ lang), [Prima Donna](http://www.prima-donna-bras.com/), and [Fantasie](http://www.fantasie.com/). All 3 of those companies make very comfortable, long lasting, and even sexy bras. I’m wearing a Rosa Faia one right now. 😉 And I’ve sung its praises on the board before, but for a sports bra, there is absolutely no beating [Enell](http://www.enell.com/2x2.html). Ugly as sin, but boy does it work. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/25 "2008-12-03T06:01:46Z")
> [@MadPansy64](#): > > If I understand the OP (it’s very possible that I do not), I cordially invite him to go fuck himself, without an anelgesic, while he tres to stand up straight. what exactly did I say that pisses you off, but ask a question? Really. Because i didn’t mean to offend you at all so I’m a bit surprised at the request for me to go fuck myself. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/26 "2008-12-03T06:58:13Z")
Grabbing a big handful of this thread and moving it to IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![MadPansy64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@MadPansy64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPansy64)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/27 "2008-12-03T07:01:24Z")
> [@Jolly\_Roger](#): > > what exactly did I say that pisses you off, but ask a question? Really. Because i didn’t mean to offend you at all so I’m a bit surprised at the request for me to go fuck myself. Sorry – not you so much as the constant “jokes” when ever a female mentions her boobs. Please accept my sincere apology for being a Bitch. I was reacting without thinking. My comments about enormous knockers stand. My nastiness to the OP does not. ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/28 "2008-12-03T08:54:41Z")
> [@psycat90](#): > > I haven’t paid less than $80 for a bra in years. But, I’ve been fortunate enough to find a local shop with a woman that absolutely loves boobs more than I do, and loves making sure every person that walks into her store walks out with a perfect and comfortable fit. > > She mostly carries the Rosa Faia line by [Anita](http://www.anita.com/us/en/149,1,0,0 __products-main.htm?ovs__ lang), [Prima Donna](http://www.prima-donna-bras.com/), and [Fantasie](http://www.fantasie.com/). All 3 of those companies make very comfortable, long lasting, and even sexy bras. I’m wearing a Rosa Faia one right now. 😉 > And I’ve sung its praises on the board before, but for a sports bra, there is absolutely no beating [Enell](http://www.enell.com/2x2.html). Ugly as sin, but boy does it work. I recently went to a shop that sounds similar and got a REAL fitting - not just a quick tape measuring, the woman in the store went to town making sure that I found the exact perfect fit. She made me try on bra after bra to make sure they fit me just right. I’d been wearing the wrong size (after being fitted a couple months ago at another store). She just really KNEW bras - she recommended the best styles for me and I have to say, I was giggling in the fitting room because I was so surprised and happy about how big a difference it made. While the bras I ended up buying were about $75 each, they’re actually kind of sexy, which isn’t something I’m used to. And they make all my clothes look better, too. The best one is [Le Mystere Dream Tisha Lace bra](http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=83695&CategoryID=2910&PartnerID=SHP&cm_mmc=PMD-_-Froogle-_-Product_Terms-_-Le_Mystere_Dream_Tisha_Lace_Bra&utm_source=GoogleProduct&utm_medium=organic). I can’t believe how great it makes me look. Bras definitely fall into the “You get what you pay for” category. I’ve been wearing much cheaper bras for years, figuring that my rack was nice enough & I didn’t really need help. I couldn’t have been more wrong. A good, well-fitted bra under a cheap sweater or t-shirt will most likely look a hundred times better than an expensive top over a bra that doesn’t support you well or fit right. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/29 "2008-12-03T09:49:12Z")
I’m a guy, & it’s complex. My own breast area is an erogenous zone. I have been known to be annoying in playing with body parts I find interesting (which may be idiosyncratic; there was this girl I knew once with an odd bony protrusion above her sternum…). I like the more feminine forms of humanity in general: delicate features, broad buttocks, large nipples, etc. I really don’t care how big a woman’s breasts are. There are legitimately different forms of feminine, including thin, flat-chested bodies that are still very feminine. However, thick nipples & broad aureoles are _extremely_ sexy to me. Yowza. As for large breasts, what I notice is that they’re very noticeable. That’s not euphemism; large breasts are hard to downplay, just as small breasts tend to require very tight clothing to play up. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/30 "2008-12-03T13:35:20Z")
I have bigish boobs and they’re a pain in the ass. I really like the way button up blouses look but can almost never find them that will fit properly in the chest. Many tops that look cute on smaller busted girls look slutty on big busted girls. Finding bras in my size is a nightmare. Men talk to them, even at the office. I wear minimizer bras at work, because I really, really don’t want people talking to my boobs. We’re talking about the budget here people - the girls can’t even add. However, the SO likes them and I suppose I can rack them out there like nobody’s business if we’re going out somewhere fancy or something. Really though, I used to be an A cup and I liked them fine too. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/31 "2008-12-03T13:38:25Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Yeah…gonna need some numbers there. What’s big in this owie sense? I don’t have numbers for you, but the ones that have hurt weren’t some sort of gargantuan monstrosities from the freaks-of-nature category. Pretty much anything over “average” is a negative thing, I’d say. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/32 "2008-12-03T13:58:54Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > For a lot of women it seems big ones get in the way or they can also cause major back problems. **I’m also not familiar with any woman whose breasts give them orgasms** , so the comparison to a man and his penis isn’t really apt. Now you are. 😃 In answer to the OP’s questions, though it is difficult to find bras in my size and even more difficult to find cute bras in my size (and the occasional back pain) I’m rather fond of my boobs. I suppose if I lost another 50 lbs and my boobs stayed the same size I would be less enchanted with them and more inclined to have them surgically reduced, but as it stands I’m pretty pleased overall. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/33 "2008-12-03T13:59:25Z")
> [@MadPansy64](#): > > Sorry – not you so much as the constant “jokes” when ever a female mentions her boobs. > > Please accept my sincere apology for being a Bitch. I was reacting without thinking. > > My comments about enormous knockers stand. My nastiness to the OP does not. No problem. I was worried that I had said something offensive without realizing it. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/34 "2008-12-03T14:06:39Z")
I’m one of the self-haters, but at this point in my life I deal with it better than I ever have. I’m almost (!) an A cup. Between the ages of about 12 to 20, a lot of people both male and female made sure to let me know that my boobs weren’t big enough. I remember once in seventh grade a boy I’d never seen before in my life came up to me and said, “If you didn’t carry your books that way maybe you wouldn’t be so flat.” I think that was the year I cried every day after school. Even my own mom got her jabs in (I still can’t understand why, since she knew it was a very painful subject to me). Anyway, I felt inadequate, babyish, ugly, etc. all along. I always thought I’d have the surgery one day, but by the time I could afford it, I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around it. I’d be admitting I was so hideously deformed, I needed someone to cut me up and reshape me to fit in with the normals. Obviously, the whole idea is so emotionally fraught for me that surgery isn’t quite the simple solution it might seem. I still struggle with it at times (clothes shopping, anyone?), but for the most part, I can deal with it now. Eventually I realized that guys still liked me. I breast-fed my kids. I don’t sag. At my age (38), it’s not the issue it once was. Sometimes I’m even glad they’re low maintenance and stay out of my way. I’m still a little pissed at them for not getting with the program, but we just don’t talk about that now. 🙂 The belly pooch, now _that_ is ticking me off! ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/35 "2008-12-03T14:56:50Z")
> [@Jolly\_Roger](#): > > Boobs. why do guys like them and it seems that some women hate them. Simple. Men like them because, evolutionarily speaking, it means she can provide food for his babies. Women hate them for the same reason you would hate having oranges, antelopes, or watermelons strapped to your chest all day, every day. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/36 "2008-12-03T14:59:11Z")
I hate having antelopes strapped to my chest. They thrash around too much, and the horns can be sharp. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/37 "2008-12-03T15:04:38Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I hate having antelopes strapped to my chest. They thrash around too much, and the horns can be sharp. True, but they look fab in sweaters… ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/38 "2008-12-03T15:54:15Z")
And useful when you need to escape predators… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/39 "2008-12-03T16:06:23Z")
Because when you have big boobs, they’re not just your boobs, they’re _everybody’s_ boobs and they all like to tell you how they feel about them or just acknowledge their presence (‘Nice tits!’ etc.). Even if you’re 12. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/40 "2008-12-03T16:11:17Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I hate having antelopes strapped to my chest. They thrash around too much, and the horns can be sharp. Kind of gives a new meaning to rack. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441.md?page=3)