# Ladies, and men...a question... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 3, 2008, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441 "2008-12-03T01:59:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/41 "2008-12-03T16:51:16Z")
Women, if you have straps digging into your shoulders, your bras aren’t fitting you properly. 90% of the support from a bra comes from the _band_, not the straps. I agree that it’s a pain to get bras in my size (I have a smaller ribcage with a larger cup size, which isn’t as common as a large cup with a large bandsize) and they are expensive. But _when you get a bra that fits_, it’s not uncomfortable. I have bras that fasten with only 2 (!) hooks and keep the girls up front and center. The straps don’t dig in and I can even have the straps too loose (loosen in the wash and I forget to check) where they’re falling down my shoulders… and the boobs are still nicely supported. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/42 "2008-12-03T17:01:04Z")
> [@Jolly\_Roger](#): > > Is there some rule, ladies? where boobs are too big or too small? Where they become such a focus if they are like this or that that people don’t treat you as you’d like? I’m only asking because as I said I gave a lot of female friends that hate their boobs at some level. (I have one friend that refused to join us in the water in the fuckin’ coast of Italy by the ive cities…beautiful place, BTW…because she;d have to wear a swimsuit and guys would see her cleavage) There are certainly points of acceptability in the range of boobs- different for each person, of course. I have bigger boobs and I can’t really imagine having a smaller cup size, let alone being “flat chested”. For me, I’ve always had wide hips, so my boobs provide a nice balance for my bottom half. I think I’d look funny with nothing going on up top. Plus, you’re totally right: there’s something about boobs that is just fun (and I say that as a straight woman!). I like to wear low cut shirts or shirts that emphasize my chest because, well, I don’t know- it’s fun to look down and see something that’s nice to look at. And while I’m certainly a total fat ass and that contributes to the size of my chest, when I lose a bunch of weight, I never really shrink more than half a cup size. That said, my mom has HUGE boobs. Hers were big before she got pregnant (E), but then she said they grew a ton after she got pregnant and never fully shrunk back down again. She went up to a J. A freakin’ J. I can’t even imagine. Yeah, her back kills her. Yeah, she can’t find shirts. It just seems like it would be painful to be her. As far as people covering up intentionally so no one notices their boobs- well, that’s their perrogative. I like mine and how they look, so I’m pretty much always wearing something that shows them off somehow. Not for attention from anyone, mind you, just because _I_ like how it looks. I have to remind myself when I’m out and I get lewd comments or stares, I chose to dress the way I do. Plus, usually the comments are pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/43 "2008-12-03T17:09:35Z")
I’m an ass man myself. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/44 "2008-12-03T17:30:17Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > That’s not euphemism; large breasts are hard to downplay, just as small breasts tend to require very tight clothing to play up. Are you joking? A good pushup bra makes them look about a size bigger. If that’s not enough, a good padded-pushup bra makes them look even bigger than that. It’s quite easy to make the smaller ones look bigger. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/45 "2008-12-03T17:44:26Z")
> [@myskepticsight](#): > > back issues Back issues of XXL Juggs magazine? ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/46 "2008-12-03T17:47:28Z")
> [@psycat90](#): > > So, I embraced my tits by my early 20s, Need help with that? Joe ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/47 "2008-12-03T18:38:20Z")
> [@Valerieblaise](#): > > The best one is [Le Mystere Dream Tisha Lace bra](http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=83695&CategoryID=2910&PartnerID=SHP&cm_mmc=PMD-_-Froogle-_-Product_Terms-_-Le_Mystere_Dream_Tisha_Lace_Bra&utm_source=GoogleProduct&utm_medium=organic). I can’t believe how great it makes me look. That’s a great looking bra, but my eyes keep going back to the model’s underarm. What did they DO to her? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/48 "2008-12-03T18:56:58Z")
> [@Alma](#): > > That’s a great looking bra, but my eyes keep going back to the model’s underarm. What did they DO to her? I hadn’t noticed that - it looks like they unsuccessfully tried to putty her underarm smooth. With Silly Putty. ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/49 "2008-12-03T19:04:42Z")
I have always had an ambivalent relationship with my breasts. I ‘blossomed’ early and quickly, and was wearing underwire bras in grade 6, which was less than thrilling as soon as the novelty wore off. By the time I got out of high school, my wardrobe was composed almost entirely baggy over-sized sweaters. Oddly enough, I never got a whole lot of attention directed at my boobs from my peers, but I _felt_ like I was, and gave myself a bit of a complex about it. It took about two years into college before I started to feel like my boobs were an asset rather than a burden. I think that if I had started sprouting breasts about five years later than I actually did I would have felt much better about the whole thing. In college I was a DD-cup, so largish but not obscenely so, and I do not have a twiggy frame so they were carried well. I started to enjoy male attention to them, although not in excess or by creepy people. I developed a sense of humour and a wardrobe of low-cut, fitted shirts and was fairly happy with myself. Then they started growing again! WTF! Now I’m an H-cup, having gone up a cup-size every 18 months or so since I found out there was such thing as a DDD-cup, and all the bitterness about being big-boobed is coming back. I’m getting the bra-strap grooves, underwire marks, sore shoulders and back pain, and the difficulty in finding clothes that fit properly, yadda yadda yadda. I still like that I have boobs, and on days when I’m in a good mood and am wearing the right clothes, they make me feel sexy and fun. But it’s way too easy for the mood to plummet into ‘someone please cut these damn things off’ lately. I would LOVE for my boobs to be average. I rarely get the feeling these days that people are only talking to my breasts, but I have the kind of personality that does not invite that kind of treatment, and I’m told I can be a little intimidating, so that may be a factor. Or it could just be that I talk fast enough that if you let my boobs distract you, you’re going to lose the thread fairly quickly. So yeah, I’m ambivalent. Too big or too small depends on your frame and preferred level of physical activity. I think mine are too big, but I would also look out of proportion with anything smaller than a D-cup, being a bit hippy. Hmm, that meandered a bit. Short form for the tl;dr crowd: Boobs, more complicated than you might think. ---
**Author:** ![Henrichek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5daacb/32.png) [@Henrichek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Henrichek)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/50 "2008-12-03T19:13:07Z")
Personally I never understood the big boob obsession that seems to be in majority among men. I think big boobs often look quite disgusting, especially fake ones, but also natural. It’s rare that big boobs are well shaped and firm, instead being some saggy bags of excess fat. Up to some limit I won’t complain, but then it quickly goes downhill as size increases. I think it’s unfortunate how society seems to condition women to believe big boobs are better. It’s even hard to convince girlfriends with smaller ones that they look great and it’s what you prefer. They think all men want ‘em big. I’m also more likely to glance at womens’ asses and legs than their boobage. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/51 "2008-12-03T19:22:23Z")
> [@Daerlyn](#): > > I’m getting the bra-strap grooves, underwire marks, sore shoulders and back pain… Again: this means you are not wearing a proper fitting bra. ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/52 "2008-12-03T19:34:05Z")
Well, no kidding. I have a bra that fits properly, but because such things generally cost upwards of 100 bucks a pop, I rarely own more than one of them at a time. Factor in the difficulty of finding such items in my size in the first place . . . ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/53 "2008-12-03T19:45:53Z")
> [@Daerlyn](#): > > Well, no kidding. I have a bra that fits properly, but because such things generally cost upwards of 100 bucks a pop, I rarely own more than one of them at a time. Factor in the difficulty of finding such items in my size in the first place . . . Lane Bryant has oodles of bras that go well into H territory. You don’t say how big around you are, but they have a search function on their site where you can sort by size. [This one is particularly comfy, in my smaller chested opinion.](http://www.lanebryant.com/pagebuilder/lane_bryant_product_page?pagesize=3&my_nav=cacique_intimates&cat=bras&subcat=see%20all&item=7175185&s19c=1) ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/54 "2008-12-03T20:21:22Z")
Hey Valerie, long time no see. Welcome back! I couldn’t have put it any better. Yep, the shop I go to now is just awesome and sounds very much like the one you frequent. The lady really knows boobs and bras, and she’s not afraid to totally feel you up while making you try on bra after bra until getting it just right. Between the service, and the quality of the bra… absolutely worth every penny. ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/55 "2008-12-03T21:32:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Alma** > That’s a great looking bra, but my eyes keep going back to the model’s underarm. What did they DO to her? GAH!!! I didn’t even NOTICE that - I just made sure it was the right bra and linked it. I apologize to everyone who clicked the link and got ooged out. > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **DiosaBellissima** > Lane Bryant has oodles of bras that go well into H territory. You don’t say how big around you are, but they have a search function on their site where you can sort by size While they do have a big selection, do NOT go there to get fitted. They’re the place that put me in the wrong size. I used to shop there when I was heavier. Now that I’ve lost a lot of weight, I figured I could still get bras there because their website has bras starting at 34 or 36 band size. However, when I got (inaccurately) fitted there, the store didn’t carry the size they decided I was, so I had to order online anyway. They don’t stock the size I actually am, either. Quality-wise, I don’t think their bras are terrible, but they’re certainly not great. > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Daerlyn** > Well, no kidding. I have a bra that fits properly, but because such things generally cost upwards of 100 bucks a pop, I rarely own more than one of them at a time. Factor in the difficulty of finding such items in my size in the first place . . . I’d recommend going to a local specialty store and getting a good fitting. Try on as many bras as you can & make sure you know the size you wear in each bra, as size can vary by manufacturer. Then look online for sales. I know thatfigleaves.com carries a HUGE range and frequently has good sales. They carry Fantasie & Le Mystere, both of which are great for larger-busted women. Once you know a couple of bras that fit you perfectly, you can just replace them when you find a good sale. > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **alice\_in\_wonderland** > I really like the way button up blouses look but can almost never find them that will fit properly in the chest. I think this is a fairly common problem - if you can find shirts that fit you properly in the shoulders but gape in the front, you can try [Hollywood Fashion Tape](http://www.hollywoodfashiontape.com/products_tape.cfm) or [Gal Pal Everything Tape](http://www.gal-pal.com/products_everything_tape.php). Both are strips of double-sided tape cut to just about the size between buttons on a shirt - they’ll hold all day. This works if the shirt looks right when you put it on but then starts gaping as soon as you move. If you’re seriously busting out (pardon the pun) of the buttons, I don’t know if it would help. However, the tape comes in handy for other things, too - like securing a neckline that keeps trying to slide down, or temporarily fixing a hem. > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by\*\* Henrichek\*\* > I think big boobs often look quite disgusting, especially fake ones, but also natural. Well, I’m sorry that my genes have caused me to disgust you. It’s incredibly insensitive of me to go out in public. > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **psycat90** > Hey Valerie, long time no see. Welcome back! Hi Psy! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/56 "2008-12-03T22:41:16Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > …I’m also not familiar with any woman whose breasts give them orgasms, so the comparison to a man and his penis isn’t really apt. Not to belabor this but uh…of the 8 boobies I’ve had the pleasure of meeting (not counting mom) only two failed to produce/enhance orgasms, and I’m still doing research on two as I’m still learning their ways. Just sayin. Boobies is all different though. As for me, I like 'em on the smaller side. Present when called upon, but not generating their own gravitational field. But this is purely an aesthetic that takes a back seat to what I think of their owner. I might go for a chick with huge tits if I liked her brain. Luckily, I happen to be involved with a gorgeous brain that also happens to own an ideally-sized pair. Why do I like boobies? Because I haven’t got any. People who do own boobies also happen to be the sort of people I’m interested in sexually. So for me, boobies = potential for moisture. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/57 "2008-12-03T22:55:44Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Why do I like boobies? Because I haven’t got any. People who do own boobies also happen to be the sort of people I’m interested in sexually. So for me, boobies = potential for moisture. I knew there was a reason the inhabitants of Tatooine always rated highest on surveys of the quadrant’s sexual happiness; it’s all those moisture farmers! ::hangs head in shame:: ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/58 "2008-12-03T23:08:18Z")
> [@Valerieblaise](#): > > I think this is a fairly common problem - if you can find shirts that fit you properly in the shoulders but gape in the front, you can try [Hollywood Fashion Tape](http://www.hollywoodfashiontape.com/products_tape.cfm) or [Gal Pal Everything Tape](http://www.gal-pal.com/products_everything_tape.php). Well **HEY NOW** - this looks like a rather fabulous idea! Sadly, it doesn’t look like I can get it in Canada. ☹ I’ll have to put it on my shopping list for the next time I’m south of the boarder. 🙂 > [@](#): > > Well, I’m sorry that my genes have caused me to disgust you. It’s incredibly insensitive of me to go out in public. No kidding! That was quite the douche-y post! I mean, I have preferences about male bodies too but I don’t post that those with out those features are disgusting. FWIW, mine are real and they’re spectacular! [/Terry Hatcher] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/59 "2008-12-03T23:08:33Z")
To the OP, I recommend [Breasts-A Documentary](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0128086/). It’s twenty two women, forty one breasts, and some very interesting discussions. I understand the film makers also did a documentary on penises, but I haven’t seen it. ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441/60 "2008-12-03T23:50:45Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Well **HEY NOW** - this looks like a rather fabulous idea! Sadly, it doesn’t look like I can get it in Canada. ☹ I’ll have to put it on my shopping list for the next time I’m south of the boarder. 🙂 I’ve gotten Hollywood Fashion Tape on Amazon, although I just checked & couldn’t find it on Amazon.ca. I’ve also found it at nail salons & JoAnn Fabric. I only recently found the Gal Pal stuff at the Container Store, which doesn’t seem to exist in Canada either. If you poke around a bit and can’t find it anywhere online, let me know. I’m sure I can grab some and mail it. It’s definitely handy! > [@](#): > > No kidding! That was quite the douche-y post! I mean, I have preferences about male bodies too but I don’t post that those with out those features are disgusting. Yeah, it was the word “disgusting” that made me bristle. Everyone is allowed to express their personal tastes, but I don’t understand the hostility in his wording. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-and-men-a-question/475441.md?page=4)