# Ladies, are you as motivated by sex as men? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 27, 2014, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418 "2014-02-27T14:57:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/1 "2014-02-27T14:57:21Z")
Another thread on this board got me thinking about the ways in which so many of my decisions in life are rooted in the desire to facilitate intercourse. Now, I’m not driven by sex in every conceivable way, but the motivation is certainly there - in at least some noticeable capacity - and it’s prevalent enough that I at least have to acknowledge it. The thinking, for example, goes like this: -I go to school so I can get a good job _so I can have sex._ -I work out so I can get a good body _so I can have sex._ -I go to work so I can make more money _so I can have sex._ Sexual motives aren’t the primary driving force behind everything, mind you, but they certainly can constitute as much as half of the motivation behind many of these lifestyle decisions. I’m honestly just curious whether women are driven in a similar way. My guess would be that they generally aren’t, given that they just tend not to be the sexual deviants that most men grow into. Still, it’s an interesting question. What say you? ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/2 "2014-02-27T15:09:38Z")
Of course not. Women don’t need to get a good job or be in good shape or make a lot of money in order to have easy access to sex. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/3 "2014-02-27T15:13:55Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Of course not. Women don’t need to get a good job or be in good shape or make a lot of money in order to have easy access to sex. Done in one. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/4 "2014-02-27T15:46:48Z")
> [@2ManyTacos](#): > > . . . given that they just tend not to be the sexual deviants that most men grow into. Wait. WHAT??? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/5 "2014-02-27T15:49:54Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Wait. WHAT??? Exactly. I resent that. I didn’t grow into being a deviant I was born this way. ---
**Author:** ![Yellow\_Kazooie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecd19e/32.png) [@Yellow\_Kazooie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yellow_Kazooie)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/6 "2014-02-27T15:56:52Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Of course not. Women don’t need to get a good job or be in good shape or make a lot of money in order to have easy access to sex. Uh not exactly. If the woman is fat like a walrus then she’s gonn have a hard time finding someone to f- her ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/7 "2014-02-27T16:01:01Z")
> [@Yellow\_Kazooie](#): > > Uh not exactly. If the woman is fat like a walrus then she’s gonn have a hard time finding someone to f- her Well, isn’t this a fun thread! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/8 "2014-02-27T16:19:57Z")
> [@Yellow\_Kazooie](#): > > Uh not exactly. If the woman is fat like a walrus then she’s gonn have a hard time finding someone to f- her On the evidence of my observations - and God forbid I should bad-mouth any of my significant others past or present - this is not in fact the case. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/9 "2014-02-27T16:21:20Z")
> [@Yellow\_Kazooie](#): > > Uh not exactly. If the woman is fat like a walrus then she’s gonn have a hard time finding someone to f- her Uh yes exactly. I said a woman didn’t have to be in good shape. I didn’t say she could be 500 lbs. The vast majority of women can get all the sex they want with no effort. Of course, there are probably some exceptions. Although honestly, with the Internet, I wouldn’t be surprised if a 500 lb. woman could place an ad and get a bunch of responses. Hell, she might even get paid for it if she wanted. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/10 "2014-02-27T16:58:07Z")
> [@Yellow\_Kazooie](#): > > Uh not exactly. If the woman is fat like a walrus then she’s gonn have a hard time finding someone to f- her To test this hypothesis, I recommend that you visit your local Walmart for about an hour and tell us what you noticed. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![partypooper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/67e7ee/32.png) [@partypooper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partypooper)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/11 "2014-02-27T17:29:39Z")
I’m going to have to go with no. As a woman, I’m more interested in sex than most women (from what I’ve learned through conversations with female friends anyway). Still, I rarely think “oh, I need to do this or that so I can get laid”. The closest I come to that is “I need to act this way or look like that to get this specific man to want me”. Even then, it’s not as much about getting him to sleep with me (because let’s face it, dudes are easy to get into bed) as it is getting him to be interested in spending time with me on an ongoing basis. I’ve always been skeptical that men are really that driven by sex, but maybe I’m wrong. I could have sex within the next hour if I really wanted to, all it would take is a text message. And it doesn’t matter if he’s at work, we’ll find a way to make it happen or I’ll just text someone else. I don’t know many men that can do that. Maybe if I had to work a little harder at it then I’d focus on it more often. I have a question for you men that say that sex drives you in your decisions and lifestyle: Is it just the act of having sex and achieving orgasm that drives you, or is it that paired with intimacy and romance? Or is it truly just a desire to procreate? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/12 "2014-02-27T17:35:03Z")
> [@partypooper](#): > > I have a question for you men that say that sex drives you in your decisions and lifestyle: > Is it just the act of having sex and achieving orgasm that drives you, or is it that paired with intimacy and romance? Or is it truly just a desire to procreate? I’m sure it varies from man to man. For me, it’s \*better \*when paired with intimacy and romance (well, intimacy anyway), but if I’m not in such a relationship the drive is just as strong. And, it has never been tied to a desire to procreate. That maybe the biological origin of the urge, but my sex drive increased significantly as fear of procreation evaporated. (no offense to my children, who I love dearly) ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/13 "2014-02-27T17:50:59Z")
Less so now that I have a family, but definitely in my single days. Yes, most women can find a partner fairly easily. So can most men. But skilled, fit, attractive partners who can offer a fulfilling experience are harder to find. I was choosy, so I made an effort to provide a similarly fulfilling experience by trying to be attractive and interesting. I definitely avoided one career path due to the gender ratio (involving living in remote areas with mostly women), and “hot sex, hot sex” was defiantly my mantra at the gym. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/14 "2014-02-27T18:34:05Z")
> [@Yellow\_Kazooie](#): > > Uh not exactly. If the woman is fat like a walrus then she’s gonn have a hard time finding someone to f- her You’ve never seen an episode of _Cops_, have you? ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/15 "2014-02-27T18:40:44Z")
My boyfriend is not motivated by sex in the way you described it. I’m a girl, and neither am I. We both had fairly traumatic childhoods and survival/escape/living independently was our primary motivation in life (until we met each other and could begin the path of self-actualization). ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/16 "2014-02-27T20:13:00Z")
I agree with **2ManyTacos**. To a certain extent, I have a good job and a good car and learn to cook and converse to make myself more desirable for sex. It’s not the only motivation, but it exists throughout. However, it’s belied by the fact that I don’t go out and seek sexual encounters, because I could. But I don’t. So I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I never test my theories. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2014, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-you-as-motivated-by-sex-as-men/682418/17 "2014-03-01T08:02:21Z")
No, my sex drive is mostly dormant unless I’m actively interested in and near to a certain person. It’s very convenient. I don’t care about money, status or possessions in a partner, and I haven’t made any effort to amass any of the above myself. My body looks nearly the same always so I just care for it for my health. Like Rachellogram I’ve mostly been motivated to be self-sufficient and in control of my own life. Though I’ve fallen into serious relationships without meaning to, it’s only been with two people I loved very much.