# Ladies: Are Your Intimate Areas the Whitest They Can Be?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 25, 2012, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789 "2012-09-25T16:23:38Z")
**Posts on this page:** 16
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2012, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/41 "2012-09-28T01:17:06Z")
> [@monstro](#):
>
> Hey, I could turn my privates white and keep everything else the same. My stripper name can be Oreo. PROFIT.
Or with the pink button stuff and some carefully applied masking tape someone could go for a different [desert](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neapolitan_ice_cream) theme.
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### Author:  [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2012, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/42 "2012-09-28T03:29:05Z")
My all-time favorite “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” line (the You Tube dialog is uncensored).
Artemis: My name’s Artemis, and [I have a bleached a\*\*hole](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyyRz0gbOlk).
Dee: If we’re going to be meeting sophisticated men, we need to start acting with class, we cannot be telling people that we have bleached a\*\*holes.
Artemis: He was gonna find out anyways…
The look on The Waitress’ face kills me every time.
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### Author:  [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2012, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/43 "2012-09-28T06:56:35Z")
Finally! And where can I get a cream that will give me a black cock?
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### Author:  [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2012, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/44 "2012-09-29T07:09:53Z")
> [@Isamu](#):
>
> Finally! And where can I get a cream that will give me a black cock?
You can find some mighty hefty specimens [here](http://www.akbashdogs.net/html/chicken_pictures.html).
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### Author:  [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/45 "2013-12-09T20:16:23Z")
And they said reading ATMB was only for bitching or rubbernecking…
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### Author:  [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2013, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/46 "2013-12-10T04:18:30Z")
Not sure if this product was out when I last posted, but Lactacyd has such a product now: [http://www.lactacyd.com.my/our-products/whitening](http://www.lactacyd.com.my/our-products/whitening)
“Sweat and excessive friction from tight clothing can darken the skin around the intimate area, causing self-consciousness, decreased confidence or inhibiting intimacy.”
And for the men: [How George Clooney has inspired cosmetic craze for 'ball ironing' - that sees wrinkles removed from you know where... | Daily Mail Online](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2335902/How-George-Clooney-inspired-cosmetic-craze-ball-ironing--sees-wrinkles-removed-know-.html)
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### Author:  [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2013, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/47 "2013-12-10T04:26:52Z")
…for the next round of sequential threads:
“Ladies: Are Your Intimate Areas the Whitest They Can Be?”
“How does THAT even happen?!”
“Schick Personal Touch razor discontinued”
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### Author:  [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/48 "2013-12-10T04:53:15Z")
This is distressing to me. All those beautiful golden- or brown-skinned women, being told their natural colours were _unsatisfactory_. (I always preferred golden-tan with darker accents anyways…)
> [@AaronX](#):
>
> Not sure if this product was out when I last posted, but Lactacyd has such a product now: [http://www.lactacyd.com.my/our-products/whitening](http://www.lactacyd.com.my/our-products/whitening)
> “Sweat and excessive friction from tight clothing can darken the skin around the intimate area, causing self-consciousness, decreased confidence or inhibiting intimacy.”
No. Sweat and excessive friction from tight clothing do not cause self-consciousness and decreased confidence.
_Marketers_ cause self-consciousness and decreased confidence. Evil bastards.
> [@AaronX](#):
>
> And for the men: [How George Clooney has inspired cosmetic craze for 'ball ironing' - that sees wrinkles removed from you know where... | Daily Mail Online](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2335902/How-George-Clooney-inspired-cosmetic-craze-ball-ironing--sees-wrinkles-removed-know-.html)
_Ball_ ironing?! _ **How?!!** _
:: wince ::
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### Author:  [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2013, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/49 "2013-12-10T04:54:37Z")
And I’m still waiting for the coming deluge of products aimed at _eyebrow dandruff_.
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### Author:  [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2013, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/50 "2013-12-10T05:23:00Z")
> [@Sunspace](#):
>
> _Ball_ ironing?! _ **How?!!** _
> :: wince ::
You don’t want to know. But some guys will pay top dollar for that.
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### Author:  [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2013, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/51 "2013-12-10T08:06:37Z")
I heard the ball ironing thing might be a joke. Nut so sure on that one.
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### Author:  [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2013, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/52 "2013-12-10T10:03:46Z")
You need balls of steel to go for that.
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### Author:  [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2013, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/53 "2013-12-10T13:51:20Z")
Or at least iron.
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### Author:  [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2013, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/54 "2013-12-10T14:15:54Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> “… some?” :dubious:
Never forget Rule 34.
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### Author:  [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2013, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/55 "2013-12-10T14:18:50Z")
> [@Sunspace](#):
>
> This is distressing to me. All those beautiful golden- or brown-skinned women, being told their natural colours were _unsatisfactory_. (I always preferred golden-tan with darker accents anyways…) No. Sweat and excessive friction from tight clothing do not cause self-consciousness and decreased confidence.
>
> _Marketers_ cause self-consciousness and decreased confidence. Evil bastards.
>
> _Ball_ ironing?! _ **How?!!** _
> :: wince ::
All women are told we are unsatisfactory. It’s called advertising. :smack:
---
### Author:  [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-are-your-intimate-areas-the-whitest-they-can-be/635789/56 "2013-12-11T16:46:05Z")
I’ve definitely heard of anal bleaching before, and was curious the number of non-porn women that go to get a procedure like that. Because you know if a salon offers anal bleaching then there must be enough of a demand to offer the service :dubious: .
On a less extreme note, I’m actually surprised they dont offer whitening creams for more general areas. On the human body, prolonged skin-to-skin contact tends to cause the area of skin to get darker. For women on the…lumpier side, this tends to affect the areas around the armpits, under the breasts, and around the upper thigh areas (plus all the creases between fat rolls). Even if you lose the weight, these dark patches will still be there, and on women with lighter skin, it can create a very noticible contrast.
Not that bleaching those areas isn’t kind of silly also, it just seems like if you’re going to make parts of your skin whiter, it just makes sense to do it on larger/more visible areas, to even out the tone with the rest of your body.
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