# Ladies, can you ever tell if a guy is going to be good in bed just by looking at him? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 5, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769 "2007-06-05T00:19:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/21 "2007-06-05T17:44:18Z")
Being able to breathe through your ears? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/22 "2007-06-05T17:54:40Z")
[QUOTE=jebert] Can you ladies give some specifics on just what being “good in bed” entails? [/QUOTE] Um…giving us orgasms? That’s the main point, I think. After that would be a lot of touchy feely (no pun intended) stuff like, “makes me feel safe/loved/cherished” and a lot of “listens to me and accepts coaching and alters what he’s doing if it doesn’t work for me.” The later, of course, a requirement for giving us orgasms. What makes a woman “good in bed”? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/23 "2007-06-05T18:13:02Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] What makes a woman “good in bed”? [/QUOTE] If the woman’s “in [my] bed,” “good” is almost redundant. It’s already good. 🆒 OK, maybe that’s oversimplifying. Most of what I want from a girl is the same as the girls have been saying they want: someone eager to please, unafraid to try new things, willing to communicate and coach/be coached. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/24 "2007-06-05T18:29:22Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Geeks, guys into yoga and serious martial artists tend to be high on the good list. Bodybuilders tend to suck, and not in a good way. [/QUOTE] :: raises eyebrow extremely :: Bodybuilders suck? Why? (I mean, I can see why geeks might be good\*, and I can see why yoga people and martial artists might be good\*\*, but…) [sub] \*They’re grateful and want to return the blessing. \*\*Flexibility and strength. [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/25 "2007-06-05T18:56:39Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Bodybuilders suck? Why? [/QUOTE] This is purely anecdotal (and second hand, at that) from a good friend of mine who was a personal trainer and fitness model, and consequently ran in the same circles as many bodybuilders. She said that a disproportionate number of male bodybuilders: - Were on the short side (she’s 5’6"). - Were on the…ahem…short side, whether naturally or due to use of performance enhancing drugs. She may have used the term “using a sledgehammer to drive a tack” to describe them in bed. - Tended to be arrogant, macho types. Not being a bodybuilder myself, I couldn’t confirm or deny. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/26 "2007-06-05T18:59:10Z")
[QUOTE=jebert] Can you ladies give some specifics on just what being “good in bed” entails? [/QUOTE] 1. Orgasms 2. Stamina 3. Ability to take direction ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/27 "2007-06-05T18:59:29Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] :: raises eyebrow extremely :: Bodybuilders suck? Why? (I mean, I can see why geeks might be good\*, and I can see why yoga people and martial artists might be good\*\*, but…) [sub] \*They’re grateful and want to return the blessing. \*\*Flexibility and strength. [/sub] [/QUOTE] In my experience, geeks are good not due to gratitude (although they often are, heh) but due to research. The geek propensity is to familiarize oneself intimately (er…) with one’s passion, and this applies to lovemaking as to any other passion. Plus, they’ll do that weird thing that you can’t get anyone else to do. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/28 "2007-06-05T19:05:35Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] In my experience, geeks are good not due to gratitude (although they often are, heh) but due to research. The geek propensity is to familiarize oneself intimately (er…) with one’s passion, and this applies to lovemaking as to any other passion. [/quote] _cough_ Research. Yeah, that’s it. Research. [QUOTE=Telperien] Plus, they’ll do that weird thing that you can’t get anyone else to do. 😃 [/QUOTE] That? I thought everyone did that! But then, I’ve been known to put peanut butter on my hotdogs, so to speak. [sub]And let me add that, to me, the sight and sound of a woman enjoying herself is extremely pleasurable…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/29 "2007-06-05T19:26:17Z")
[QUOTE=ScareyFaerie] There’s nothing like a test drive… [/QUOTE] For some reason, a certain car commercial with music from Deep Purple’s _[Smoke on the Water](http://tools.wikimedia.de/~gmaxwell/jorbis/JOrbisPlayer.php?path=Deep_Purple_-_Smoke_on_the_Water.ogg&wiki=en)_ comes to mind here. Of course, if you only drive an automatic you may miss the inference. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/30 "2007-06-05T19:53:03Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] _cough_ Research. Yeah, that’s it. Research. [/QUOTE] Chemistry experiments! 😃 > [@](#): > > That? I thought everyone did that! > > But then, I’ve been known to put peanut butter on my hotdogs, so to speak. Should I add this to my weird euphemism file? 😃 And one person’s weird thing, I suppose, is another person’s perfectly normal thing they do all the time. > [@](#): > > [sub]And let me add that, to me, the sight and sound of a woman enjoying herself is extremely pleasurable…[/sub] You’re not the only one. It works the other way, too. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/31 "2007-06-05T20:05:16Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] :: raises eyebrow extremely :: Bodybuilders suck? Why? (I mean, I can see why geeks might be good\*, and I can see why yoga people and martial artists might be good\*\*, but…) [sub] \*They’re grateful and want to return the blessing. \*\*Flexibility and strength. [/sub] [/QUOTE] Yoga and martial arts, as you say, for flexibility and strength, but also for an inner calm and intense focus that I find very arousing. YMMV. Bodybuilders because, as previously mentioned, a tendency towards self-centeredness and focus on his own orgasms, not mine. Also, they tend to be very inflexible, in the literal physical sense. Every one I’ve been with has also taken a painfully inordinate length of time to orgasm - we’re talking into major chafing here. Also, I have one hip that tends to dislocate, and guys with bulk in the pelvis and thighs make it hard for me to be on top for very long. In fairness, this is a simple personal preference and a generalization based on a study group of less than a dozen, so let’s not tarnish the reputation of ALL bodybuilders here. (There is one particular bodybuilder at the Bristol Ren Faire, who does this…thing…with his tongue. He’s rather legendary among the ladies there, and it really just doesn’t matter what else he does or doesn’t do.) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/32 "2007-06-05T20:09:27Z")
Hmm. So I am on the right track, then, going to the gym to gain flexibility, strength, and endurance. Maybe I should go back to yoga and/or Tai Chi\*. (There’s this exercise my trainer makes me do, that involves a pelvic shift… 😃 ) [sub]\*Along with the [French lessons](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=421878&highlight=French+lessons).[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/33 "2007-06-05T22:27:45Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] So, ladies, what you’re basically saying is that this sock full of quarters I keep stuffed down the front of my pants is doing me no good? [/QUOTE] You’re sure you know which side is the front and that the socks don’t shift a bit during the day? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/34 "2007-06-06T00:10:48Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] What makes a woman “good in bed”? [/QUOTE] 1. A tight pussy. 2. Cooperation. (If you think a man gets bored with a woman who does everything he wants, you are wrong.) 3. A talent for faking orgasms.\* \*“It is sometimes said women can “come,” as men can. This is not true.” – _A Dirty Book,_ by National Lampoon ---
**Author:** ![SailedTheOceanBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85f322/32.png) [@SailedTheOceanBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SailedTheOceanBlue)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/35 "2007-06-06T00:56:59Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Geeks, guys into yoga and serious martial artists tend to be high on the good list. [/QUOTE] Jewish men. I realize anecdotes are not data, ya ya ya, and three (yes, I’m a dirty whore) Jewish men probably are not a great sample size but IME Jewish men are amazing in bed. Perhaps I have been blessed, but I am not complaining. /not Jewish myself //agree with the Geek, martial artist and Body Builder assessments. ///I _told_ you I was a dirty whore. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/36 "2007-06-06T05:01:29Z")
[QUOTE=SailedTheOceanBlue] Jewish men. I realize anecdotes are not data, ya ya ya, and three (yes, I’m a dirty whore) Jewish men probably are not a great sample size but IME Jewish men are amazing in bed. Perhaps I have been blessed, but I am not complaining. /not Jewish myself //agree with the Geek, martial artist and Body Builder assessments. ///I _told_ you I was a dirty whore. 😛 [/QUOTE] Hmm…I have not yet sampled that portion of the buffet. _makes note_ Thanks for the recommendation! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/37 "2007-06-06T05:51:55Z")
I had a jewish boyfriend for 5 years. He was fantastic. I’ve been disappointed a few times, but thinking back…I can’t say I was surprised. I could tell the tale of 6’3" bass player who had the voice of god, drove a motorcycle and had bullets on his boots, and had a trick I’ve never been able to figure out, nor have anyone duplicate. I still think of him fondly. Even if he’s gone on to protool shitty performers. (Seriously, I still have no idea what he was doing down there, it was far too amazing to analyze, I’m still befuddled almost 20 years later) And there is this one. I never slept with, but what he did to my soul, I’ll take to my grave. ---
**Author:** ![maikai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@maikai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maikai)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/38 "2007-06-06T06:12:28Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] There is one particular bodybuilder at the Bristol Ren Faire, who does this…thing…with his tongue. He’s rather legendary among the ladies there, and it really just doesn’t matter what else he does or doesn’t do. [/QUOTE] Any chance you could tell us what the legendary technique is? ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/39 "2007-06-06T06:29:16Z")
The kiss. But even before the kiss you can tell if the guy has good hands. Not by looking though. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769/40 "2007-06-06T06:57:32Z")
The guys I’ve enjoyed enjoyed exploration and variation. If we were kissing on a corner at the disco and I raised his shirt, he’d be pleasantly surprised - not react like I was “invading his territory” because you see, it’s the man’s duty to take the initiative. If I asked to change position, he’d be glad to oblige. If he asked me to do something I hadn’t done before and I asked for feedback, he’d give feedback (as opposed to saying “ah no then nothing”). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-can-you-ever-tell-if-a-guy-is-going-to-be-good-in-bed-just-by-looking-at-him/406769.md?page=3)