# Ladies, check in if you've never been groped (unwillingly)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-check-in-if-youve-never-been-groped-unwillingly/666185>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [August 14, 2013, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-check-in-if-youve-never-been-groped-unwillingly/666185 "2013-08-14T03:15:35Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 198

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**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\
**Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-check-in-if-youve-never-been-groped-unwillingly/666185/198 "2013-08-22T23:48:24Z")

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And let me quote another wise poster in the Men’s thread 😉

> [@Men, check in if you've ever been groped unwillingly](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/22):
>
> I think another part of is is that there is a general sense of entitlement floating around in our culture, that women are not human beings with lives of their own but are here for men’s pleasure, and some men cannot grasp the concept that they are not entitled to comment on and touch women without permission. So when you as a woman run up against an asshole who believes that shit, it’s jarring because not only have you been touched without your permission but you have to deal with the fact that someone saw fit to treat you like you (your opinion, your will, your feelings) don’t matter and that society brofists him for it and scorns you.

…because for me it’s not **just** the immediate threat of violence that’s so unsettling (although that certainly can be a huge part of it depending on the situation) but the systematic wearing-down of being treated with complete disrespect, like you’re not even on the same level of existence as the guy touching you. Like you’re not a human being with inherent dignity and worthiness of respect, you’re a woman. The times I’ve been groped, I was groped by strangers. It was not personal, they didn’t know me, they weren’t expressing a liking toward me as an individual – they saw me and for whatever reason they decided that it was all right to touch me without saying one fucking word to me first, like I was just this thing. Like, do you ask a chair permission to sit in it? Don’t be silly, that’s what it’s there for and it doesn’t care either way. So, you see a nice ass – do you care what the woman whose ass it is might be feeling or thinking about you touching her? Don’t be silly, she wouldn’t have left the house if she didn’t want some attention, go ahead and grab her, that’s what she’s there for.

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