# Ladies do you expect a V-day gift from someone your just DATING? (guys jump in too) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 20, 2003, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776 "2003-01-20T09:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/21 "2003-01-21T01:36:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JohnT \* > \*\*Buy her a card, cheapass. Seriously - is this that big a deal? :rolleyes: \*\* Excuse me? I _have_ a GF. I was just wondering what people would do if they were just dating. I’m pretty much locked in for the whole gift thing myself. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/22 "2003-01-21T01:46:52Z")
Jeez after rereading this entire thread its obvious people got the wrong idea. Why is it everybody seems to think I’m asking this for myself? Oh well I probably would too if it was somebody else who wrote it. This question came up the other night with my GF. She seems to be of the opinion that even if you went out on just a couple of dates that you should get her something. I thought that was absurd; so I brought it to this board to get a consenses. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/23 "2003-01-21T02:32:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SHAKES \* > \*\*Just curious… > > And fellow men would _you_ feel so inclined to buy one for someone your just dating? > > As for myself I don’t think so. I’m not too fond of this 'holiday" anyway. \*\* I’m sorry to doubt you, but do you have a cite that proves that there are people who actually date? It sounds a little far fetched to me. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/24 "2003-01-21T03:02:42Z")
I doubt there’s a hard and fast rule for this one. Personally, I would think it depends on the type of relationship you’re trying to define by “dating.” If its someone I’d just seen casually for a few times, taking her out to dinner and a movie seems like enough of a “gift.” OTOH, if its someone I felt strongly about, I probably wouldn’t wait until V-day. I don’t need retailers to tell when it’s ‘appropiate’ to buy a gift. ---
**Author:** ![Hermann\_Cheruscan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b782af/32.png) [@Hermann\_Cheruscan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermann_Cheruscan)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/25 "2003-01-21T03:26:02Z")
Guys! Don’t be so damn cheap! If I was just starting to date a woman, I’d probably give her her a card and a small gift. If I had been dating a woman for a while, I’d send her flowers and take her out somewhere nice. Of course, I’m a romantic kind of guy. I always took care of my dates. And I always got a “lot” in return, if you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/26 "2003-01-21T03:34:03Z")
What is the proper thing to do on Valentine’s Day if you’re dating more than one person (legitimately, of course)? Send them all flowers and make for the hills? Take prospect Number 1 on a date and hope you don’t run into 2 through whatever? Fake a heart attack? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/27 "2003-01-21T15:29:13Z")
If you’re dating several people legitimately, you’re balancing your options and chances the other 364 days a year. Why is sending them flowers or candy on one day such a problem? ---
**Author:** ![g8rguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@g8rguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/g8rguy)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/28 "2003-01-21T21:45:10Z")
I just wanted to duck in and say that I read **Hermann** ’s post to start as: > [@](#): > > Guys! Don’t be so damn cheap! > > If I was just starting to date a woman, I’d probably give her her a _ **credit** _ card and a small gift. And, I thought: :eek: :eek: _So **that** ’s why I’m single at the moment._ Just wanted to share. :o ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/29 "2003-01-21T22:20:11Z")
At the very least a card, and a token gift, yes. Depends on how serious you are, etc. Say for the second or third date I would make it a small plush animal, and a card which is both a bit funny & romantic. I buy flowers all year long- so I don’t have to pay 8 times the going rate around Feb 14th. ---
**Author:** ![rowanashe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/edb3f5/32.png) [@rowanashe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowanashe)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/30 "2003-01-21T22:38:34Z")
I don’t understand why it has to be flowers or candy for valentine’s day. Why can’t it just be something they’d like. I mean why should I have to eat chocolate when what I really want is a Lexus. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/31 "2003-01-22T00:49:19Z")
I would expect a card. (If you’re dating several people, valentines conveniently come in multi-packs.) I would also expect someone I was dating to know the difference between “your” and “you’re.” ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/32 "2003-01-22T01:10:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by voguevixen \* > \*\*I would expect a card. (If you’re dating several people, valentines conveniently come in multi-packs.) > > I would also expect someone I was dating to know the difference between “your” and “you’re.” \*\* Damn! I was looking sooo foward to dating you too. My poor little heart has broken to pieces! But thank you mam for pointing out how superior you are to me by knowing the difference between your and you’re. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/33 "2003-01-22T06:06:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SHAKES \* > Just curious… > > And fellow men would _you_ feel so inclined to buy one for someone your just dating? > > As for myself I don’t think so. I’m not too fond of this 'holiday" anyway. 1. Please don’t use underline for emphasis. It confuses people, as hyperlinks are also indicated by an underline. 2. It is not whether you are fond of it, for god’s sake. It is whether the other person is fond of it. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/34 "2003-01-22T10:37:05Z")
My true love and I agree on this issue. Valentines Day is for the birds, a Hallmark[sub]TM[/sub] Holiday. A poor excuse to sell cards. On that day, we will not exchange anything (except bodily well, you know). We get each other gifts and cards on a regular basis. We don’t need a ‘special day’ to do it. Romance should be spontaneous, and above all, completely voluntary. ---
**Author:** ![royjwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@royjwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/royjwood)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/35 "2003-01-22T13:14:47Z")
My wife and I do not exchange gifts at Christmas, birthdays, or any other “special” day. Instead, we treat each other lovingly with respect and courtesy every day of the year, and when we find that “special” little something that we know the other would appreciate…we get it and give it to them…regardless of the day of the year. However, for someone who is just dating, it is always a nice thought to do something “special” for the other. If not to make them feel special, at least do it for yourself…think of what they may do in way of response! ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/36 "2003-01-22T19:28:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SHAKES \* > \*\*Damn! I was looking sooo foward to dating you too. My poor little heart has broken to pieces! But thank you mam for pointing out how superior you are to me by knowing the difference between your and you’re. :rolleyes: \*\* I think you meant “ma’am.” You’re welcome! ---
**Author:** ![royjwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@royjwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/royjwood)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776/37 "2003-01-22T19:40:08Z")
vixen, you are so cruel…will you be my Valentine? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-expect-a-v-day-gift-from-someone-your-just-dating-guys-jump-in-too/149776.md?page=1)