# Ladies, do you know when your, ummm, headlights are on? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 15, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521 "2003-05-15T20:02:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/81 "2003-05-17T06:33:20Z")
DD girl. Re: headlights. Yeah, I know, most of the time. The times I don’t know, DH usually points it out. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/82 "2003-05-17T06:50:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by QueerGeekGirl \* > **Yes, I’m sure that “men are men”, but I don’t think most men are going to leer at a 250 pound dyke in Doc Martens, ripped jeans, and a Ramones t-shirt, with her hair in a bun and not a trace of makeup.** Maybe not. But I submit breasts are eye-candy to some degree, no matter _what_. ---
**Author:** ![Contrary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/db5fbb/32.png) [@Contrary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrary)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/83 "2003-05-17T11:53:17Z")
Good point, **Lizard** , female breasts do attract attention. And (going on a tangent, bear with me), some men do have a hard time looking at my face when they are talking to me. One guy in particular was really bad about talking directly to the girls. Finally I called him on it. He was sitting at a table, I was standing and we were discussing something work-related, and he could not tear his eyes away from my breasts. So I sort of ducked down a bit to be right at his eye level and said, “They won’t talk back, you know.” Well he got extremely flustered, turned red, said he didn’t realize I could tell where he was looking (oh _please_), and that was that. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/84 "2003-05-17T11:55:37Z")
The expression I use is “Turkey’s done!”… ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/85 "2003-05-17T14:10:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by QueerGeekGirl \* > \*\*I don’t think most men are going to leer at a 250 pound dyke in Doc Martens, ripped jeans, and a Ramones t-shirt, with her hair in a bun and not a trace of makeup. \*\* Do women? Not being a wiseass, but I can’t imagine that being a look that attracts _any_one. No offence intended, but I weigh a little less than that (and I’m 6’2"), and if I dressed like that, I wouldn’t expect a woman to give me a second glance, never mind a leer. Again, I don’t mean to be offensive, I’m just curious if that look actually works for, or against, you. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tag \* > \*\*I know when I’m “puckering” up. When I’m horny (quite often now that I’ve hit my prime), cold, in the freezer section of the grocery store-LOL, or even when a man looks at me just right, it happens. > > Who was saying that it was happening to them a lot recently? I’m with you! I’m not sure why though. But hey, I guess it’s a conversation starter, right? :dubious: \*\* Yeah! That’s a great idea! I’ve always wanted to be whacked upside the head with a bag of frozen Niblets. 😛 So…how YOU doin’? 😉 _checks to see if it worked_ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Contrary \* > \*\*Finally I called him on it. He was sitting at a table, I was standing and we were discussing something work-related, and he could not tear his eyes away from my breasts. So I sort of ducked down a bit to be right at his eye level and said, “They won’t talk back, you know.” \*\* I don’t blame you. It has to be frustrating, if not insulting. But, I really can’t blame that guy, too much, either. Men are visually oriented, and you put “the motherlode” right in his face. Of course he’s going to have a hard time (;)) ignoring it! That’s the way Mother Nature programmed us. I’m not even a “breast man”, but I’m sure I’d have had difficulty looking you in the eye, too, under _those_ circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/86 "2003-05-17T14:39:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ouisey \* > I’m gonna try the duct tape trick out. I’m so friggin’ nipply all the time, and unless I wear a bra like armor, its very obvious. Yep, that’ll work. Now the only thing sticking out will be a patch of duct tape. Very sexy to most men. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/87 "2003-05-17T14:43:33Z")
Some gals seem to go out of their way to make sure the headlights are on. Like Debra Messing, AKA Grace Adler. Must be a reason. Maybe so men WILL look? ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/88 "2003-05-17T15:27:08Z")
**Musicat** , there are things you can wear under your clothes that give you permanent high-beams. I don’t remember what they’re called, and have no idea how to search for them without pulling up a ton of porn links. I’m sure someone will provide a link before too long. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/89 "2003-05-17T16:34:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by porcupine \* > \*\ ***Musicat** , there are things you can wear under your clothes that give you permanent high-beams. I don’t remember what they’re called, and have no idea how to search for them without pulling up a ton of porn links. I’m sure someone will provide a link before too long. \*\* You [rang](http://www.bodyperks.com/)? ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/90 "2003-05-17T17:00:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Do women? Not being a wiseass, but I can’t imagine that being a look that attracts anyone. No offence intended, but I weigh a little less than that (and I’m 6’2"), and if I dressed like that, I wouldn’t expect a woman to give me a second glance, never mind a leer. Again, I don’t mean to be offensive, I’m just curious if that look actually works for, or against, you. Oh, now I’m offended, you prick! 😛 **Davebear** , I’m not saying that I don’t clean up every now and then. Of course I do! My choice of clothing just happens to be comfort, comfort, comfort. Even dressed up, though, my looks aren’t a strong point–I get by on charm, humour and flattery, instead. 😛 > [@](#): > > No offence intended, but I weigh a little less than that (and I’m 6’2") That’s not a size-ist crack, is it? :dubious: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/91 "2003-05-17T17:01:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Queergeekgirl how old are you? If you can live life braless (lucky bitch) with no discomfort you must be… what 11? Oh, and for the record, I’m 22. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/92 "2003-05-17T17:59:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by QueerGeekGirl \* > \*\*Oh, now I’m offended, you prick! > > **Davebear** , I’m not saying that I don’t clean up every now and then. Of course I do! My choice of clothing just happens to be comfort, comfort, comfort. Even dressed up, though, my looks aren’t a strong point–I get by on charm, humour and flattery, instead.\*\* Just being careful, since I seem to offend people without knowing how, around here. But, I see what you mean about your charm. 😉 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by QueerGeekGirl \* > \*\*That’s not a size-ist crack, is it? \*\* Nah! My best friend is 5’4". 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/93 "2003-05-17T18:56:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tag \* > **I know when I’m “puckering” up. When I’m horny (quite often now that I’ve hit my prime), cold, in the freezer section of the grocery store-LOL, or even when a man looks at me just right, it happens.** Regarding the last part of that: I have a “magic trick” I use on the SO. If I look at one just right the little guy will perk up. This works whether or not she notices me staring. I can’t do both at once for some reason. Maybe I should practice more… As to why guys find erect nipples attractive I’ve always bought into the bull’s eye theory. I think of it as a place to aim, especially on women with large targets. ---
**Author:** ![abbaZaba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/90ced4/32.png) [@abbaZaba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abbaZaba)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/94 "2003-05-17T19:33:38Z")
do all you D and DD girls hide when I’m around?! ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/95 "2003-05-17T19:45:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jomo Mojo \* > \*\*\_Total Recall_\ \*\* Oh for pete’s sake - I have a pair of boobs, not a trio! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/96 "2003-05-17T20:26:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by porcupine \* > **Musicat** , there are things you can wear under your clothes that give you permanent high-beams… Oh, sure, I’m aware of them suckers, and of course it would be naiive of me to assume that Grace Adler’s headlights are either flesh or plastic. But regardless of which, the show’s producers seem to make sure that she looks that way, and that’s the point, isn’t it? So don’t destroy our fantasies! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/97 "2003-05-17T21:09:28Z")
Well, I’m a bit more than a DD (I hate to be that high up in the alphabet so I’ll just leave it at that), and I don’t care who’s looking as long as they know where to address all their conversations 🙂 Seriously, **Contrary** , I did just about the exact same thing to a boss of mine once–except I said “hello, I’m up here.” It was never a problem after that. My only occasional concern is that the nipples are even–sometimes I gotta reach in and do a boob readjustment to make sure the headlights are on straight. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/77aa72/32.png) [@Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_On_My_Sleeve)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/98 "2003-05-17T21:48:03Z")
LOL! I’m with you on the adjustment, **lauramariane!**. They just gotta be even. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/99 "2003-05-17T21:58:26Z")
> [@](#): > > My only occasional concern is that the nipples are even–sometimes I gotta reach in and do a boob readjustment to make sure the headlights are on straight. ROLF **lauramarlane** , I hear ya. I go pretty high on the alphabet myself, and sometimes it tough to keep both heading the same direction. ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521/100 "2003-05-17T23:52:20Z")
I don’t know how it must look to guys, but it’s something like not knowing which eye to look at because they’re not both looking at you. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-know-when-your-ummm-headlights-are-on/175521.md?page=6)