# Ladies, do you wish your breasts could do this... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 19, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713 "2013-05-19T01:24:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/1 "2013-05-19T01:24:37Z")
Some animated gifs from Japaneses anime of boobs doing things that I’m pretty sure normal boobs can’t. But what do I know, I’m a gay man. 😉 Obviously this NSFW, no nudity, but weird boob behavior. [http://imgur.com/gallery/DaPQJ](http://imgur.com/gallery/DaPQJ) ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/2 "2013-05-19T01:30:52Z")
All of that looks extremely painful. Poor boobies ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/3 "2013-05-19T02:03:32Z")
As a straight guy, I wouldn’t wish those boobs on any woman. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/4 "2013-05-19T04:05:25Z")
Link is saying file not found. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/5 "2013-05-19T04:34:25Z")
Same here, link is dead. (I was trying to look purely for research purposes.) ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/6 "2013-05-19T06:21:55Z")
I was afraid of that, here is a new link that shouldn’t go down. [http://imgur.com/a/JIMNM](http://imgur.com/a/JIMNM) ---
**Author:** ![Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky_the_Wonder_Spirit)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/7 "2013-05-19T06:24:46Z")
No. Ow. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/8 "2013-05-19T06:26:36Z")
Clearly, the OP has never been to Suzy Wong Bar in Soi Cowboy in Bangkok. However, back in the day I did know a well-endowed Texas stripper who could and would, to the tune of the Surfari’s “Wipe Out,” spin her breast tassles in opposite directions. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/9 "2013-05-19T06:38:36Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > However, back in the day I did know a well-endowed Texas stripper who could and would, to the tune of the Surfari’s “Wipe Out,” spin her breast tassles in opposite directions. I did, of course, mean that to be plural possessive – “the Surfaris’ ‘Wipe Out’.” :o ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/10 "2013-05-19T06:52:09Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > I was afraid of that, here is a new link that shouldn’t go down. > > [http://imgur.com/a/JIMNM](http://imgur.com/a/JIMNM) “Won’t go down” is also the punch line of several marriage jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/11 "2013-05-19T17:16:28Z")
OUCH. That looks like punishment akin to waterboarding. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/12 "2013-05-19T18:08:02Z")
How can those women stand up straight with breasts those large? I’ve seen a video of a real woman with real breasts demonstrating various rotational movements. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/13 "2013-05-19T18:29:10Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > I was afraid of that, here is a new link that shouldn’t go down. > > [http://imgur.com/a/JIMNM](http://imgur.com/a/JIMNM) I think a couple of those are from _Eiken_. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/14 "2013-05-19T21:46:12Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > How can those women stand up straight with breasts those large? Presumable anime-humanity evolved with breasts largely filled with lightweight foam, or something of the sort… ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/15 "2013-05-19T21:51:14Z")
Yowwch! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/16 "2013-05-19T22:22:29Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Presumable anime-humanity evolved with breasts largely filled with lightweight foam, or something of the sort… I’m thinking some type of gas, hopefully not explosive like hydrogen. Neon would be cool, as you could make them work like lamps. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/17 "2013-05-19T22:44:58Z")
The bottom 4 gifs represent the only times it is actually appropriate to say ‘calm your tits’. The others are just odd. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/18 "2013-05-19T22:49:32Z")
Why would I want them waggling off in different directions? Besides, that much bounce inevitably leads to sag. The girls need some support if I don’t want them in my lap when I’m 50. I only let them out on special occasions. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/19 "2013-05-19T23:34:41Z")
Let me ask you this: would you guys want your balls to do that? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713/20 "2013-05-20T01:37:56Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Why would I want them waggling off in different directions? More tips in the G-string! > [@Guinastasia](#): > > Let me ask you this: would you guys want your balls to do that? What makes you so sure they don’t already? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-do-you-wish-your-breasts-could-do-this/658713.md?page=2)