# Ladies: does it upset you when a server shows too much cleavage? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 28, 2006, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987 "2006-01-28T14:14:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/1 "2006-01-28T14:14:14Z")
I was at a bar last night and the busty young lady serving us was giving the men quite a peak at the goods. One of the women with us was very offended at this and also quite vocal about it. Now I am biased because as a single heterosexual male I was enjoying the show, but I thought the whole thing was harmless. I can’t think of a perfect comparison for male bar tenders, but whatever it would be I think that if I didn’t like it I would just not look - and good for him if he were getting more tips. But maybe not, I can’t remember ever being in that situation. Would it bother you? ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/2 "2006-01-28T14:22:50Z")
I like cleavage, so I’d more than likely be oogling too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/3 "2006-01-28T14:24:26Z")
I would be a bit annoyed if she was obviously and deliberately showing said cleavage off to my SO…especially if I was the one paying. Otherwise…eh. I don’t really like it but I wouldn’t be really offended either. ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/4 "2006-01-28T14:37:52Z")
Next time hand the offended person some coins and challenge her to toss them into the offending cleveage. I fun bar game for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/5 "2006-01-28T15:14:10Z")
It depends on the place. At a bar, it really wouldn’t bother me. At a nice restaurant, it would bother me. And it would also bother me, even in a bar, if said female was deliberately flashing the merchandise in my husband’s face. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/6 "2006-01-28T15:19:04Z")
It is worth mentioning that some wait staff are provided with uniforms and may not have any choice about how much cleavage they show. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/7 "2006-01-28T15:20:17Z")
It was my opinion that she was not singling anyone out - or if she were, it may have been me. But certainly she was not doing it specifically for a married man - or even one who was with a woman. ---
**Author:** ![melondeca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@melondeca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melondeca)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/8 "2006-01-28T15:32:52Z")
I think that woman should find something new to complain about; if she doesn’t like it, look the other way. I work as a bartender and tonight I am going to be incredibly busy. My shirt will reveal a decent amount of cleavage because cleavage increases tips. The majority of my patrons are men most of whom enjoy cleavage. Of the couples that come in, more often than not the man pays and even if he is in a relationship he most likely enjoys cleavage as well. That was probably your bartenders thought proccess when she chose what to wear. The 5 guys who tip extra definitely make up for the one woman who feels threatened and doesn’t tip at all. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/9 "2006-01-28T15:35:09Z")
I would enjoy the view as much as my fiance, so I wouldn’t have a problem with it. Even if I was straight, I don’t think I would have a problem with it. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/10 "2006-01-28T16:03:55Z")
I can’t imagine having a problem with this. I’m a heterosexual married female who dresses modestly. I like the way modest clothing looks on other people. I think it’s sort of sad that flashing your cleavage increases your tips. But why on earth would I be upset about some waitress showing her cleavage? I may not like the fact that it will get her more tips, that’s the reality of waitressing. And I certainly wouldn’t be upset about my husband enjoying the show. It doesn’t mean he enjoys _my_ cleavage any less. ---
**Author:** ![melondeca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@melondeca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melondeca)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/11 "2006-01-28T16:20:53Z")
> [@Green Bean](#): > > I can’t imagine having a problem with this. > > I’m a heterosexual married female who dresses modestly. I like the way modest clothing looks on other people. I think it’s sort of sad that flashing your cleavage increases your tips. But why on earth would I be upset about some waitress showing her cleavage? I may not like the fact that it will get her more tips, that’s the reality of waitressing. And I certainly wouldn’t be upset about my husband enjoying the show. It doesn’t mean he enjoys _my_ cleavage any less. It is sad that flashing a bit of boob increases tips. I am a good bartender…I make good drinks, I am fast and efficient, I am friendly but the cleavage is what does it. Sad but effective. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/12 "2006-01-28T16:31:36Z")
> [@melondeca](#): > > It is sad that flashing a bit of boob increases tips. I am a good bartender…I make good drinks, I am fast and efficient, I am friendly but the cleavage is what does it. Sad but effective. I confess that the cleavage really caught my eye. But the places I return to are the ones where the tenders remember me, and make me feel like they are glad to see me. I’m talking about the ones, male or female, who remember my name, remember my drink, make sure that my drink is rarely empty and ask about my health. This woman does all those things and that is why I go back. If she didn’t, no amount of cleavage would get me there. But the cleavage is nice too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/13 "2006-01-28T16:46:58Z")
> [@](#): > > . My shirt will reveal a decent amount of cleavage because cleavage increases tips. This was my take on it. The server is just taking advantage of a common male trait, I fault her not (and encourage it 🙂 ) When I hear things like this I suspect that she may have issues with herself more then others. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/14 "2006-01-28T17:14:41Z")
Having accompanied my husband to Hooters many times, as well as a dinner once at the now defunct _JoAnne’s Chili Bordello_, where the waitresses dressed in corsets and garter belts, I’m neither disturbed nor threatened by another woman’s assets. I don’t care if my husband looks - I don’t care if he comments about it to me, unless it’s to suggest I surgically alter myself (never happened - doubt that it ever will) Some people are wound way too tight, methinks. ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/15 "2006-01-28T17:30:21Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > I confess that the cleavage really caught my eye. But the places I return to are the ones where the tenders remember me, and make me feel like they are glad to see me. I’m talking about the ones, male or female, who remember my name, remember my drink, make sure that my drink is rarely empty and ask about my health. This woman does all those things and that is why I go back. If she didn’t, no amount of cleavage would get me there. But the cleavage is nice too. 😃 You said it perfectly. I’m a straight, single female, and I enjoy good scenery just as much as anyone. Heaving bosoms wouldn’t deter me from returning, but I’m a lot more likely to go back when I’m made to feel welcome. Unless he’s a really, really, really, really hot bartender… ---
**Author:** ![furthur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@furthur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furthur)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/16 "2006-01-28T18:14:31Z")
Only if a boob fell out into my salad or something. Mrs. Furthur ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/17 "2006-01-28T19:05:45Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > I was at a bar last night and the busty young lady serving us was giving the men quite a peak at the goods. > > Would it bother you? If the men got a peak from a peek, she must have been quite hot looking, indeed. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/18 "2006-01-28T19:24:43Z")
If a waitress was showing signifigantly more clevage than anyone else working in a place, and I thought she was doing so in a particularly tacky way, I might comment on it to my husband or a good friends, but never loud enough that someone who didn’t know me could hear. But I wouldn’t be upset–I’d be being a bitch. And the one or two times I’ve had a waitress be flirtatious with my husband _and ignore me_, I’ve felt irritated. But that’s because I’m being dismissed as unimportant, not because she’s paying attention to him. But that’s maybe happened twice in the last decade? It’s certainly a rare thing. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/19 "2006-01-28T19:37:46Z")
I wouldn’t care. It’s just breasts. What I would care about is my SO’s response. Looking is natural but it better not turn into an ogle-fest or he’ll find himself kicked under the table. Not that he’d ever do that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/20 "2006-01-28T19:48:11Z")
Female, married: not offended in the least, and would probably encourage it. If she were shoving them in my husband’s face, I’d be laughing and patting him on the back. He would be the one who would act horrified, though! However, I welcome him to admire away, if he truly likes it. Why not? The girl is just doing her job. I’d tip her with no qualms, as long as she was friendly and helpful. If I were paying, I’d give her a little extra; some of those girls are friendly, helpful, and not necessarily happy with having to show the cleavage - I worked in a place where showing cleavage was part of the job. We had happy, smiling, bouncing waitresses; some with no problem with it, but some loathed it. But the job had to be done. Even if she were doing it by choice and enjoying it, I’d have to ask myself: if I had a rack like that, wouldn’t I be using it to get a few extra tips? Hell yeah I would. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987.md?page=2)